Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Holy shit - should I become religious?

Apparently my prayer has been partially heard, at least the part that mentions beer. Helsinki beer festival has decided to get just the right kinds of beer as their theme beer. Now, if I go there and people start offering me free beer on account of me being a chosen person, or one of the chosen people anyway, I'll give serious thought to rereading some of the Holy Books, or at least the parts of Tanach where they talk about sex.

Hmm, maybe I should reread the whole thing to see if they talk about beer somewhere... No, don't think so. But if any of you happens to know an online version of the Old Testament where you can search for beer, I mean for the word "beer", let me know.


Belarussian dictator, oops, I mean president Alexander Lukashenka has put one of the opposition leaders, Anatoly Lebedko, in jail for criticizing Lukashenka. Even though criticizing the president is only punished by 5 years in prison in that citadel of democracy and free speech, Lebedko is being threatened with life in prison.

Lukashenka has also amended the constitution, so that now only a person who has had at least 5 years' experience as the president of Belarus can serve as the president. OK, just kidding. But he did make the Constitutional Court decide that he can run and be elected for the third term, in direct violation of the Constitution of Belarus, article 97(1), which says: "The President shall be elected directly by the people of the Republic of Belarus. The President's term of office shall be five years. The same person may be President for no more than two terms."

Anyway, here is an old Russian joke about Lukashenka:

Bush, Putin and Lukashenka go for a walk. Suddenly God jumps out of a burning bush, tells them that the end of the world will come in two weeks, and orders them to inform their people about it. They comply:
Bush: "My fellow Americans! I have good news and bad news for you. The good news is that there is a God, the bad news is that the world will end in two weeks.
Putin: "My fellow Russians! I have bad news and bad news for you. The first bad news is that there is a God, and the second bad news is that the world will end in two weeks.
Lukashenka: "My fellow Belarussians! I have good news and good news for you. The first good news is that God himself has recognized me as the president of Belarus, and the second good news is that I'll be your president till the end of the world.

Senior Mutant Ninja Citizens

Stockmann has a sale called Hullut päivät (Crazy Days), which I usually call Hullujen päivät (Days of the Crazy). These are 4 days when crazy people flock to Stockmann and sensible people try to avoid it, except for myself of course. I went there this morning. The place was overrun by senior citizens, mostly female ones, trying to fight their way towards whatever it was that they wanted to buy. These grannies are very good at various kinds of punching, kicking and elbowing. Krav Maga mostly saves me from punches and elbows, because these are easy to block. Attacks with heavy weapons, such as shopping carts, are much harder to block, because the usual leg block does not work on them (or rather it does, but hurts too much). I wonder at which level we are gonna learn the defense against shopping carts. Blocking them with the back of the leg sort of works, but you have to watch out for your ankles all the time and it does not do good to your balance.

Grannies are usually small, and I have always wondered how much of it is due to the fact that people become shorter as they age and how much of it is due to their generation being short to begin with.

I keep hoping that by the time I will be old enough to be considered an evil Stockmann grannie I'll finally reach an expert level in Krav Maga and will be able to fight my way to the head of every line.

Today gluttony won over common sense as usual, and I managed to stand my ground against several grandmas trying to ram their shopping carts through me, and now I bought a truckload of fish, a little bit of meat and lots of black pepper.

Tuesday, March 30, 2004


I am sure it's some kind or a cultural difference between the US and Finland, or even more likely between the US and Europe, but I really don't understand the attitude to the refugee problem here. It seems that the people, or at least the media, have a weird need to demand that all refugees be allowed to stay, and also to demand that those who are not allowed to stay be somehow labeled as fake refugees.

What's the problem in admitting that there are lots and lots of refugees in the world, that it is a good idea to help as many as we can, that we can't help everybody and that this fact does not make those who we can't help somehow fake? (This is, BTW, not to say that fake refugees do not exist.)

And what's the point in letting refugees stay even when they commit serious crime? Imagine that Shitholia is a country of 25 million, of which 5 million are some persecuted minority. Finland cannot accept all 5 million for the obvious reason, so Finland decides to accept, say, 2 thousand. If one of the 2 thousand commits serious violent crimes in Finland he or she is not likely to be sent back, because of the likelihood of persecution. Why does the fact that that person will be persecuted bother anyone, when there are 4998000 potential refugees remaining in Shitholia, any of whom could be admitted to Finland instead of the criminal and any of whom is also likely to be persecuted if they remain in Shitholia? Put the damn criminal back and replace him/her with a law-abiding person, or at least a person who has not yet been shown to be a criminal.

Tired. Can't do much useful. In addition one of the embedded servers doesn't ask for its software and I don't know what's its problem.

A man was killed on Keskuskatu. It's disturbing, not only the fact that he was killed but that it happened right in the center of the city where there always are people looking.

Peter Ustinov died. He was a good actor.

The war on terror is going more or less ok: British police arrested 8 men and found lots of explosives, Spain has arrested 18 in total, Philippines have arrested 4 Abu Sayyaf guys and found 36 kilograms of TNT that they allegedly were going to use on trains. Not bad if all the people they arrested are indeed the right people.

Uzbekistan is not doing so well.

Massachusetts Governor Matt Romney tried to delay the implementation of the court ruling allowing gay marriage, but Massachusetts Attorney General Thomas F. Reilly told him to bugger off.

A morning prayer

Dear Lord, please bless the fruit of the vine that I drank yesterday and prevent it from turning into poisonous gas, for my coworkers surely don't want to die that way.

Smite all the evildoers who smoke on the stairs in our building, preferably by sticking their lit cigarettes up their asses, but please don't set them on fire, for this is cruel, unusual, and also dangerous to the innocent bystanders. While we are on the subject of smiting, could you also smite the neighbors who play loud music until 5 in the morning, or at least their musical equipment, but not in a way that would cause awful noise, fire, or a fight with them hitting each other with furniture as they usually do.

Dear Lord, your humble servant here really wants to drink kosher wine during Passover like a good Jew, but the stuff they have in Alko is totally horrible and is surely an abomination in your eyes. Please talk some sense into Alko and get them to purchase some drinkable drink that is also kosher for a change. You might also want to look into the subject of the Jewish deli and almond macaroons, which were absent from there the last time I checked. And the new commandment about beer that I proposed yesterday might also be a good idea and would for once show everybody that Jews are indeed your chosen people, and the producers of good beer are even more so.

Dear Lord, I know it is beyond your power to make Killeri stop wanting to go to every meeting of the 1562 organizations that he is a member of, but please don't tempt him with any more organizations. Is there any way to convince him that when you say that a good Jewish husband should screw his wife all the time, you also mean goyim and unmarried couples? We could even do it at a meeting, which would have an added benefit of reducing the number of meeting invitations.

Please give me a euro for every time a member of Parliament comments on a law proposal that he or she has not read. More than one euro if you can spare. Also, can I have a euro for each foreigner living in Finland who has never read the Alien law?

Dear Lord, you are almighty. This means that you can actually write Lisp code, right? Right?

Krav Maga and the rest of the evening

Went to the evening Krav Maga lesson yesterday. It was crowded but not as badly as last Monday. Managed to hurt myself, not much but many times. Scratched myself by accident, blocked kicks by body parts that were not protected, etc. We were studying anti-strangling techniques again, new ones this time.

My sparring partner of yesterday can kick with unbelievable might. It really hurt even through 10-cm shields. I shudder to think what that man's kick feels like without 10 cm of protection in between. Was a pretty good sparring partner, BTW - he is clearly more advanced than myself and he noted my mistakes and commented on them in a rather constructive way.

After Krav Maga we went to see Jossain Afrikassa (Nirgendwo in Afrika) with Heli. German Jewish family comes to Kenya in the late 1930s, the parents are having trouble with their relationship, the daughter in enjoying herself and meeting the locals. Well-written and well-acted. After that we hanged out at my place.

Monday, March 29, 2004

Chosen people

In the USA when strangers come up to you and try to convert you to their brand of Christianity, saying that you are Jewish usually makes them understand that they are not about to get lucky, and they leave. In Finland, however, telling proselytizing Christians that you are Jewish just tends to excite them even more. Most of them have probably never seen a real live Jew in their lives, and, much more surprisingly, most of them believe that Jews are chosen people.

Once in a while I run into these people and they start telling me that we are the chosen people and that the good Lord loves us in every orifice. How the hell do I react? When Jews (apart from the very religious ones) start talking among themselves about being the chosen people, it is always a joke, and the normal response is along the lines of "could he choose somebody else for a little while, please?" What the hell do I say to people who really believe that Jews are the chosen people? And how do I refrain from giggling when saying it? I understand that they are trying to be nice, and I don't want to be rude, but the whole idea is so ridiculous....

Somehow, I don't think that "yes, the Lord has chosen us to receive free beer from the infidels" would work...

If we really were the chosen people I am sure god would have made it clear with an appropriate commandment to the infidels: "When thou seest a Jew with an empty glass in a bar, thou shalt offer him or her a glass or Kasteel, some trappist beer or dark Velkopopovicke. But do not offer Guinness, for it is an abomination in the eyes of the Lord".

The war in Iraq

Before the war started I used to predict that we'll win the war and then start wondering what exactly did we win. Now the war has pretty much been won. So what did we win there?

Saddam is gone, right. Democracy is coming to Iraq. The problem with establishment of democracy in other countries is that how do you know they are going to vote for the right people (meaning: desirable from our point of view)? And if they aren't, why should we bother establishing their democracy for them?

So who are Iraqis going to vote for? They have a slight Shia majority - are they going to establish a lovely fundamentalist Shia republic like Iran, and are my tax dollars going to pay for that?

Oops, probably shouldn't talk about my tax dollars, what with foreign earned income deduction and all... But anyway...

Or will Sunnis manage to establish a fundamentalist Sunni republic after all? Eek, does not sound good either.
Saddam, although undoubtedly a murderer and an evil dictator, tended to keep religious fundamentalists in check. Can we do it better?

These are not rhetorical questions, I seriously don't know. Will the new Iraqi government be better than Saddam, will they keep fundamentalists in check better than Saddam, will they support terrorists less than Saddam?

There is a certain benefit in showing the world that it's quite possible to kick the ass of even a fairly large and fairly militarized Arab country, but that kind of thing tends to be quickly forgotten and you can't keep kicking their ass all the time just to remind them. And Murr-Murr Qaddafi being everybody's friend now is also sort of a benefit. Still I am not sure whether benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

Did anyone even get a decent amount of oil out of the whole thing?

In the news

In an unprecedented gesture of friendship and solidarity between Shia and Sunni terrorists Hezbollah's leader Nasrallah declared that his organization is standing together with Hamas against Israel. Wow, Hezbollah has come a long way. I remember the times when they spent their days fighting against another Shia terrorist grup, Amal. Hezbollah were pro-Iranian Shia terrorists and Amal were pro-Syrian Shia terrorists. I have no clue what their ideological differences were.

Apparently there has been a terrorist attack on a market in Tashkent, Uzbekistan. They say it was a female suicide bomber and the local islamist terrorists are suspected, but nothing is sure yet.

Nasa has built an un-fucking-believably fast jet. it's still a prototype, though, so no chance to ride anything like that anytime soon.

Musharraf is promising to kick Al Qaeda's ass. Israel's chief prosecutor Edna Arbel is promising to kick Sharon's ass.

Bertrand Cantat was convicted and got 8 years for the beating death of his girlfriend Marie Trintignant. Marie Trintignant was a French actress, and a fairly good one, which is why I mentioning this here. Bertrand Cantat was a French rock start that I'd never heard about until he killed her.

Bloody period

Pun intended, of course.

Having my period, and therefore am sore and unsure whether to go to Krav Maga tonight. Oh well, ibuprofen is our friend.

At some point yesterday I realized that if heredity is something to go by I still have about 250 periods to go through. Which is sort of nice in the sense of still being fairly young, but a bloody inconvenience in the very literal sense of word.

OTOH I can already imagine how paranoid I will become when the periods will stop, and how scared of a possible pregnancy. Not to mention that at some point before the periods will stop the doctors will probably refuse to prescribe brth control pills, which will mean irregular and very bloody periods. Oh joy.

I am really afraid of getting pregnant and not noticing it for the first 3 months, after which I wouldn't be able to get an abortion in Finland (or it would be very difficult) and would have to arrange an abortion in the US on a rather short notice. After the first 6 months I think you can only get a legal abortion in China, which would make arrangements even more difficult, but I think 6 months is hard to miss.

And no, giving birth is absolutely not an option.

Well, I guess today I should celebrate the fact that once again I am not pregnant. Except that I am sore and bleeding and need ibuprofen.

In the news

Rantisi declared Bush an enemy. I am not all that fond of our chimp-in-chief myself, but does Rantisi remember what happened to the last guy who declared Bush an enemy? Anyways, Israeli helicopters have failed to attend his speech again.

Hehe, Sharon got caught taking bribes. Not convicted yet though, but I think he is likely to be.

Ireland banned smoking in all workplaces. Progress. Who'd have thought?

What the hell is going on in Congo?


Saw the rest of Firefly and decided it was too short.

Watched some reality TV with Ville. It had some programs on really bad weather and people who do or do not get killed by it. Huge waves and tornadoes and hurricanes and whatever. One of the programs made an impression that most of the morons who go sailing in the ocean during a huge storm come from my beloved home state of Massachusetts, but I sincerely hope this is not the case.

Wanted to take a look at the anti-Israel demonstration but missed it. Helsingin Sanomat's webpage is not mentioning it either.

Sleepy for some reason.

Sunday, March 28, 2004

Looking for a party

19:00: Planning to go to the Alter Ego party. Don't really feel like partying tonight, but the kind of party where I can dance Pornopolkka 5 times in a row does not happen every day, so decide to go. Drink a hot chocolate with rum to enhance the party mood. The mood gets duly enhanced, especially with the addition of some of Timur Shaov's music. The party probably starts at 7 (did not check) and is somewhere in Domma where I've been once, 2 years ago and totally drunk. I go there alone, as Anu is indisposed (in the sense of tired after a week of working at weird times, and not in the sense of hung over) and Killeri is missing in action as usual (probably either in some meeting or performing some unnatural act such as playing salibandy).

19:30: Finally there and found the right hole (it's a hole in the ground with stairs going down). The door is closed. Now how the fuck do I get in?

Called Viljo, because he'd mentioned something about going to a party. Turns out he is at another one, Kassu's housewarming party. Holy shit, I was supposed to be there too! It is of a higher priority than Alter Ego party since there are people I don't normally see otherwise, but then I am here already. Bugger.

Called Laura, who is also somewhere else and tells me to call Risto. Called Risto, but his phone was either off or out of the reception area. Called Meira, who did not pick it up. Considered calling Janka, but remembered she never picks up. Did not even consider calling Ville as he was in IRC 15 minutes before and there was no way he'd made it to the party already.

19:35: Bugger the party. I should probably boycott parties that are arranged in places that are hard to find, impossible to get into and have no cell phone field. Besides, why the hel would I go to the party is nobody else is even there.

19:45: On the way home to get Kassu's address. Meira calls back and tells me that the party starts at 21, which would explain the closed door. Meira is not there either. I am still close to the place and it's only 15 minutes' wait but I decide to go to Kassu. Suddenly feel rich, fortunate and warm at the thought that I have two parties to choose from.

20:00: Home. Kassu's party started at 16 and is till 22. Damn, no sense in going there with only 1 hour left. I take the clothes off.

20:02: Shit, it's 20 and not 21! My idea of time was wrong by an hour. I put the clothes back on and go to Kassu's place. Kassu and Tuula have a nice apartment in a weird house. The party has a lot fewer friends and a lot more scary unfamiliar people than I expected, but it's good to see whatever friends here are and the unfamiliar people are nto so scary after all. I talk to Tuula about her research, and it's interesting how although AFAIK she is a theologist from the conversation about her work one can think she is an archeologist.

After midnight a few friends and I finally got to the Alter Ego party. There were very few people and no Pornopolkka, but it was sort of nice anyway.

Saturday, March 27, 2004

Life, again

Spent a nice evening with Killeri yesterday. He thinks I can purr fairly well for a human. He himself did a reasonably good imitation of emacs shrink for a human. We went to see Etulijan edessä. It was a fairly good movie although I can see some ways in which it could have been better. I did not expect it to be in Swedish, but it was, and I even understood some, although of course was helped by subtitles. They had native or near-native Russian speakers playing all the Russians, and apparently some native Russian wrote Russian parts of the script, or at least they swear in a very natural way all the time.

It never ceases to amuse me how easy it is to root for the "good guys" of a movie quite regardless of whether you consider them to be good guys in real life. Especially if it's a war movie, but also otherwise. Well, these guys were "good guys" in real life too, IMO, but it's also easy to root for Germans in German books and movies, although of course in German books and movies the good German soldiers in WWII are never real Nazis. Which makes me think that I would really like to see a Palestinian movie, especially a war movie.

Killeri is not sure whether he wants to see The Passion of the Christ because of all the violence and Aramaic. Funny, for me Aramaic is the main reason why I might want to see it. This being a Hollywood movie, the violence is probably not up to my spoiled-by-Asian-cinema standards anyway.

Today I woke up with a bit of hangover, which is very unfair since I have done absolutely nothing to deserve it last night. I think I'll catch up today. So far it has been a lazy day. Did not go to Krav Maga, went to the library and Lidl. Got, among other things, four plays by Frisch and Durrenmatt in German, which is quite ambitous as cannot really speak any German. Lidl is a good store even though they have too little selection. They have good sausage and cheap tea and cow candy (sort of soft fudge for those of you who don't know). Their beer is good if you like light lager and you like it cheap, but I don't. I mean, light lager is all right but since I drink maybe 5 bottles of it a year the price is not an issue.

Friday, March 26, 2004

The justice is done

The teacher who has once accused me of sexual harassment has pleaded guilty to 14 counts of sexual assault and battery. He got 20 years probation and an order not to have any unsupervised contact with children outside his family.

He was a dirty old man, but I am sort of glad he did not get a prison term. None of his assaults had any real violence in them, he just used to grab people where he shouldn't and wasn't very hard to shake off. Besides (and I am ashamed to say this, because I don't usually think that prison rape is a joking matter), imagine the insult that would have been added to his injury when his cellmate Bubba would've totally refused to have anything sexually to do with him.

I am also glad that he got kicked out of school, and that his name got dragged through the mud where it belongs.

A few words more on terrorism

Although killing terrorists is a rather effective method of combatting terrorism, there are circumstances where there is an advantage in not doing so. If the terrorist group contains a lot of junior members who are having second thoughts you can sometimes make the terrorist group lose more members by allowing those who want to go home to do so without penalties. At least that worked for Germany.

BTW - have you noticed how friendly Murr-Murr (yeah, I know that his real name is Muammar, but Murr-Murr is so much cuter) Qaddafi has become since his colleague Saddam Hussein fell from power?

Bloody hell

Lots and lots of people are condemning the murder of poor little Yassin. I can only imagine the howling that will start when or if the USA or somebody else finally kills poor sick Osama Bin Laden. The USA can apparently imagine it too, and has vetoed the UN security council resolution condemning Yassin's assasination.

For some reason the Western media have mostly failed to condemn, or indeed to mention, Egypt's extrajudicial killing campaign against their very own Islamic Jihad and Jamaat al-Islamiyya, which was quite ruthless and quite successful. Not that I want them to condemn it, of course, but why all that attention to Israel?

What pisses me off so much is not that some people claim that killing terrorists is morally wrong - this is a perfectly normal moral stance that I just don't happen to share. It's that they claim that it is ineffective in spite of all the obvious evidence to the contrary. When people start talking about "cycle of violence" and "root causes" I always start wondering whether they know what they are talking about.

The only root cause of terrorism is that it works. The purpose of terrorists usually is to attract attention to their cause and to make people do what they want. When you reward some behavior you usually get more of it; when you punish it, you get less. Doing whatever terrorists want you to do for their cause is a reward. In spite of the fact that some terrorists are indeed suicidal, killing terrorists is usually punishment.

Remember when Jamaat al-Islamiyya killed 58 foreign tourists in Luxor in 1997? Also, remember hearing about Jamaat al-Islamiyya after that? No, you probably don't, and that's not because Egyptian government has done anything that Jamaat al-Islamiyya wanted (which was, incidentally, to overthrow the Egyptian government and replace it with an islamist state). It was because the Egyptian government started a fairly wide campaign of killings and arrests of Jamaat al-Islamiyya's members. As the result Jamaat al-Islamiyya has reached a ceasefire with the Egyptian government in 1999, and has also honored the ceasefire since then. You can tell me that the Egyptian government's methods were immoral (and some of them were indeed immoral even to my taste), but don't tell me they didn't work, because they did.

Thank god it's Friday

Hanged out with Kristiina yesterday. A good movie (Antonia) and hot chocolate with alcohol probably did us good.

Work is doing fine, even though the testing problem gets on my nerves (lots of embedded servers god knows where and if something goes wrong it's hard to troubleshoot).

Weekend looms ahead. Looking forward to sex, a movie or two, more Firefly and possibly a party. Might consider sleeping a bit, too.

My right tit hurts a little now, and it hurt pretty bad in the morning. I have no idea what I did to it while sleeping, but I would ask myself not to do it again.

Removed somebody's (anonymous) comment yesterday for the first time. One thing I won't tolerate in my log are comments that sound like Tero Lindberg, whether or not actually written by Tero Lindberg. (I don't really think it was him, just a person of a similar style and opinions.)

Thursday, March 25, 2004


Been suffering from anxiety and rage lately. The reason must be internal and physical, because I don't see any real reason for me to be that way: nothing has happened, I am not particularly stressed out and everything is generally fine. It's not severe and does not really interfere with my life, in the sense that I don't snap at people or anything, but it's a bit annoying, especially since it has lasted for 3 days now. Feels like a regular PMS, actually, except that there is more rage and less sadness and except that I do not in fact have PMS right now. The bad thing is that I have just eaten the last birth control pill in the pack, so by tomorrow I will have real PMS as well and it's not a good combination. Hope the fake PMS is over by then.

Made some eclairs for the game yesterday. For the first time in my life I actually managed to make them crispy, but after tasting them I figured it was not worth the trouble and I like the soft ones better after all. I am still glad I learned how to make them crispy though.

Read Leaven of Malice by Robertson Davies. Amusing book. I'd like to read more of his stuff.

Yesterday I finally managed to get my software to do one thing I wanted it to do for a while now.

People on the Russian forum are quite nice but very alien. Yesterday they started a conversation about why some Finn (a writer of a certain article in the Universitas Helsingiensis magazine) considered Russia a shithole, and I did not quite have the heart to suggest the most obvious hypothesis. Which is strange, because in general I don't hide my feelings about that country from anyone.

Krav Maga

Today for some reason there were only two people in class (usually the morning class is 10-15 people). It was nice: intimate atmosphere and a lot of personal attention of the "not like that! not like that! like this!" kind. The other guy was way better than me, on the third level and all. We were practicing all manners of knife attacks: blocking, grabbing the knife hand and kicking the opponent in the balls. I find it scary to kick a guy in the balls if I don't perceive him as a genuine attacker ever since I kicked Stuart in the balls by accident at a party 12 years ago, and then had to apologize profusely all the time and bring him ice for the rest of the evening. (We were sparring drunk and without protection. Very smart.) But now I am learning that if they have a ball protector I can and should kick them in a way that actually brings my foot in contact with their balls, though not hard.

Want more morning classes. Why don't they have them every day?

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

In the news

Tired of all the debates about the legality of gay marriage and about the equality under law, Benton county, Oregon decided to support family values by banning all marriages.

Abdel Aziz Rantisi was elected the new leader of Hamas in Gaza. Israeli helicopters were unfortunately unable or unwilling to attend his acceptance speech. Nailing the guy during the speech would have been cool.

Bush's administration is trying to explain to the people why it didn't kick terrorist ass before 9/11. For some reason I don't believe them much, but that is just a hunch. Although Rumsfeld touches a good point: "Ironically, much of the world, in all likelihood, would have blamed September 11th on the U.S. as an al Qaeda retaliation for the U.S. provocation of capturing or killing Osama bin Laden."

Taiwan is still trying to beat Florida's ballot-counting record.

Communism: a rant

One of these days when one person too many tells me that Communism is a good idea in principle I'll grab that person, tie them and send them to North Korea to enjoy their principles.

What the fuck is wrong with these people? "It's a very noble idea", "it's great in principle, just the implementations are bad", "too bad it's incompatible with human nature". What's so noble or just in the idea "from everyone according to his abilites, to everyone according to his needs", what other outcome can anyone expect from it besides the deterioration of everyone's abilities and the growth of everyone's needs, and why would anyone consider it good, except for the people with very few abilities and very many needs? Well, another class of people who might like it are of course the people who want to be the ones who get to determine everyone else's abilities and needs.

And what's the thing with the people saying that human nature is bad because the noble idea of communism is incompatible with it? What kind of a fucker invents a political theory that is supposed to be a blueprint for a social system and that is nevertheless incompatible with human nature? Should we also use this principle on other things besides social reform? Maybe I'll start writing software that is incompatible both with the compiler and with the embedded server it's supposed to run on? Hey, while we are at it we can try to invent a whole programming paradigm that would be incompatible with computational theory! And imagine how much fun can be had with medications that are incompatible with human body's biochemistry...

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Had a Buffy game yesterday, and it was a very good session.

The damn software should start working today. Ugh.

I think I found a way to make dulce de leche without risking my life. (The traditional Russian way is to boil a closed can of condensed milk in a saucepan of water for two hours; they sometimes explode.) Doing it without significant risk takes two saucepans, one on the other, and a lot more time. Would be a lot easier if they just sold the damn dulce de leche in Finland.

For the amusement of those of you who are not Finnish: I opened a can of condensed milk yesterday and had a couple spoonfuls. All the people present asked "what is that?", except Anu who had seen and tasted it before. Finns don't have condensed milk for some reason. You can buy it in Finland easily enough if you go to some ethnic store (evaporated milk is a bit harder to get, but possible) but the regular stores don't carry it and the regular people don't know what it is. Which is very strange, because I think all other European countries have it.

Monday, March 22, 2004

More about Yassin

According to CNN, world leaders condemn killing on Yassin. Considering that almost all the leaders the article mentions are either EU or soon-to-be-EU, and that EU considers Hamas to be a terrorist organization, what exactly did they expect Israel to do with the guy? Let him run around? Arrest him and bring him to trial, killing a lot of people in the process and likely triggering the attempts to liberate him?

Germany's spokesman said "What is important is that everything is done to avoid further escalations, all sides are called upon to be sensible and to be most restrained. The priority is the end of terror and violence, what is not acceptable is a further spiral of violence." Germany should know from experience. They used to have a serious terrorist problem with the Baader-Meinhof gang in the seventies. After they arrested all the leadership of the gang other members and friendly terrorist organizations started hijacking planes in order to get them out. And Germany has indeed avoided a further escalation when Andreas Baader killed himself in his high-security cell several hours after a hijacked Lufthansa plane was retaken. With a pistol. In the back of his head. No, I don't condemn Germany at all, but they should understand that in Israel's circumstances it is rather hard to arrange such a suicide.

Anyway, what all the fuss is about? Ahmed Yassin used to say "Hamas leaders wish to be martyrs and are not scared of death", and Israel obliged him. Now he is in the same heaven that he had promised to so many suicide bombers. We can only hope Abdel Aziz al-Rantissi joins him soon.


I am really glad that Taiwan has democracy and elections, but do they really have to follow the example of Florida?

Ahmed Yassin

The founder and spiritual leader of Hamas, Sheikh Ahmed Yassin, died a very natural death today as his car ran over an Israeli rocket. Thus Israel has corrected the mistake it made by unleashing Yassin on unsuspecting public in 1997, when they released him from the correctional facility where he'd been serving his life sentence. Well, better late than never, I'd say.

Tens of thousands of Palestinians flooded the streets, threatening revenge. The thought has immediately crossed my mind that carpet-bombing the demonstrations and the funeral would kill a great deal of Hamas supporters without killing a lot of people who do not support Hamas, but I am a bad, bad woman and that's why nobody trusts me with any weapons bigger than a 9-millimeter.

Yasser Arafat, who absolutely does not support terrorism, declared a 3-day mourning for Yassin.

Taas maanantai

On Saturday there was a great party at Nelonen - Jari's and Riitta's birthday. The theme was colorlessness - everything had to be black, white, gray or transparent. Considering the guests it wasn't hard to get almost everybody to dress up in black, but food and drink was a lot more difficult. I had light rum with me, which I wouldn't have bought under other circumstances, but in general there was less salmiakki than I was afraid there would be. There was a great cake, too. Gotta get the recipe from Jari.

Viljo asked me to brush his hair, which was fun. The contrast between the huge hair (very thick and down to his ass) and the ridiculous tiny brush was so amusing that I am still giggling when I think of it, and the thought of a mosquito trying to fuck an elephant has crossed my mind many times. I like brushing people's hair at parties and otherwise, which is a bit of a guilty pleasure because I don't particularly like it when other people brush mine. Sometimes it feels nice if I have just brushed it and somebody else is just brushing some more, but I don't let anyone else brush my hair when it's in fact in need of brushing, not unless I am incapacitated anyway.

Hmm, I wonder if I can get Killeri to grow long hair? I wish but I don't think there is any chance, not even if I bribe him with a lot of chocolate.

Evil Stockmann has some Greek food weeks, which is not nice because I don't like Greek food, and especially since they did not get the only Greek food that I do like, which is tarama.

For once the Evil Lisp Software is working, and now I have a new one to write. No rest for the wicked...

Sunday, March 21, 2004

Firefly, again

Watched several episodes of Firefly with friends yesterday. It was even more fun the second time around.

At some point Anu realized that Viljo and myself still hadn't figured out that Inara likes the captain. She became very excited (Hungarian sparkling wine had contributed to the excitement), started waving her hands in the manner of a helicopter, explained everything to us and called us aliens. In such moments I always wish I had a couple of little green antennae coming out of my head so that I could wave them at her. She'd probably like that.

But at least I'd noticed that the captain liked Inara already the first time I saw Firefly. So see there, I am learning!

Foreigners are strange

Participated in two web forums lately, one English-speaking for foreigners in Finland, one Russian-speaking for, well, Russian foreigners in Finland. I was shocked at how little people knew about laws. One would think that a person who decides to live in another country would read up on it, especially when having problems with residence permits. Or that a person who is in a foreign country married to a foreigner and has a bunch of dual citizen kids would already know the difference between having a citizenship of a country and having a passport thereof. But no. Scary.

Oh well, I enlightened people on the Russian forum about the new Alien law that is now under discussion in Eduskunta the best I could. I'd read the forum for a long time before posting and never even guessed so many of them didn't know about the law.

Also, there are a lot of foreigners in Finland who do not speak Finnish. And I don't mean just new people, I mean ones who'd been here for at least several years. Yesterday I met a girl who is hardly much more than 20, has lived here for 9 years and does not speak the language. I rest my case. At least she appeared to understand the language more or less. It's not that I am pissed off on behalf of Finland (Finns don't seem to mind much, so why should I?), it's just that I can't understand how come people do that to themselves. Oh well, it's their life.

I wonder whether that is just Finland or whether all non-English-speaking European countries have a lot of foreigners who live there for years and never learn the local language?

Friday, March 19, 2004

Ancient computer

The oldest computer still working in Moscow (link in Russian) was made in 1976 and is currently used for flight control in Vnukovo airport.

People, plan your travel accordingly.

Spring, spring

Among the creatures who now wake up after long and cold winter are the bums who drink on the bench at the bus 79 stop in Herttoniemi, and people who try to convert you to their religion.

While waiting for the bus I had 10 minutes in which to observe the bums (I think Finnish "pultsari" would be a better word - I mean the kind of people that drink outside on benches every morning, shave every week and take a shower every month) and suddenly I realized that what makes it most obvious that these people are pultsarit, as opposed to, say, a group of co-workers whose drunken party has continued till the morning, is not the quality of their clothes or drinks, the stubble or the smell: it's they way they talk to each other. They keep yelling at each other, much in the same way as regular people do when they are having a fight, but they are not really having a fight, or else they are having a perpetual fight.

A woman came up and talked to me and tried to give me some Jehova's Witness literature to read. I did not take it but was in a friendly mood, so I talked with her. At some point in the conversation she became visibly uncomfortable and clearly tried to get away. I don't know what scared her, I smiled to her so nicely.

Morning news

24 people died in a bus accident near Äänekoski. Ouch. Condolences to everybody involved.

In Taiwan somebody has tried to vote with a gun. Speedy recovery to everybody except the voter.

Pakistani forces have surrounded Ayman al-Zawahiri. Or somebody, anyway. It's very good news if true. With good luck Osama might not even make it till the first week of November. (A crazy paranoid idea suddenly came to my mind: what if Osama was captured in fall 2001 and all this time Bush was just waiting to produce him right before the election?)

Our morons in Rhea county, Tennessee, are no match for Islamic morons after all, and had to stop their attempt to ban gays. OTOH a teenager from Nebraska was caught in the parking lot of his high school with 20 homemade bombs. See there, islamic terrorists! Not many of you carry 20 bombs at a time.

Thursday, March 18, 2004

Morons here, morons there, morons everywhere

100 Islamist morons attacked a restaurant in Bahrain on account the restaurant served alcohol, which is legal in Bahrain. They threatened diners with knives and damaged 9 cars.

Not to be outdone, our (USA) own homegrown Einsteins decided to ban gays from Rhea county, Tennessee. They want to be able to charge gays with crimes against nature and ban them from living in the county in spite of the overwhelming evidence that nobody will let them do so and that they are just making fools of themselves. Oops, that does not take much making, does it? Never mind that gays are not exactly lining up to move to Rhea county, Tennessee, and probably neither are heterosexuals.

I wonder: if morons can try to ban gays, can gays also try to ban morons?

In the news and ELF

For people who are so ready to attack everyone and everything "for our brothers in Iraq" islamic terrorists sure don't seem to value Iraqi lives much, what with all the bombings. Unless, of course "our brothers in Iraq" means "other terrorist assholes in Iraq" as opposed to the rest of the Iraqi population.

In Kosovo several Serbs decided to show the world once again that Moslems do not have a monopoly on violence and chased three Albanian kids with dogs, causing them to drown in a river. Widespread fighting ensued. 10 dead.

Death toll in the apartment building that exploded in Arkhangelsk has reached 52, and police are looking for two guys who had stolen the gas pipe lids and in the process opened the gas valve, causing the leak and the explosion. Why would anyone steal a gas pipe lid? Can anyone explain it to me? Why? What possible use do they have? Unless, of course those were some guys from the neighboring building who noticed that their own lids were stolen and decided to replace them.

This reminds me: many years ago a friend of mine tried to start his car and noticed that somebody had stolen the battery. Not being a very good citizen he decided to replace it by stealing the upstairs' neigbor's battery and was very surprised to find his own battery in the neighbor's car. The neighbor did not steal the battery back after that.

A graduate student of physics has been accused of firebombing and vandalizing 125 SUVs. He allegedly claimed these actions in the name of Earth Liberation Front. ELF is an organization, or rather a movement arranged in anonymous cells, that sets fire to cars and houses and commits other acts of vandalism in the name of environment. Despite burning houses in areas with housing shortages they claim to support every individual's right to shelter, and their claim that "civilization as a whole has proved to be detrimental to humans and non human animals. we won't settle for anything less then complete collapse" is quite amazing in light of them having a web page. Well, their FAQ is written in a way that puts pages in a wrong order when read online, which I suppose is their tribute to non-civilization.

ELF is not a hierarchical organization. It works on the following principle: they publish guidelines for ELF-approved vandalism, some members of enthusiastic public commit the vandalism and ELF claims it. ELF avoids human and animal casualties by failing to claim similar vandalism if it has resulted in human/animal victims. In light of this the wording on their FAQ's page 27 (pdf document's page 6) "Yes, the use of fire as a tool is dangerous but when used properly it can tremendously aid in the destruction of property associated with killing life" is somewhat unfortunate.

I think that people who claim ELF vandalism should, if caught, be sentenced to a term of living without any benefits of civilization instead of a regular prison term. If would be good to reserve a reasonably large all-natural area for them and unleash them there without clothing or any other unnatural items. The area should of course be fertile and not Sahara desert or anything like that. (You see? Good liberal me!) Naturally every one of us carries some of the benefits of civilization in our head and that cannot be taken away, but that's OK, in the case of most ELF vandals it's not going to be much anyway.

Praedor, Krav Maga and Lisp

Yesterday had a Praedor session, which was very nice but short. Want more Praedor now!

Today was a Krav Maga lesson in the morning. Did all the kinds of exercises with knives (no, not real knives) and blocking thereof and spent a while just sparring. My partner today was noticeably faster than me, which was sort of nice.

Lisp sucks (are you surprised?) and my software has a bug again.

Wednesday, March 17, 2004


An 11-year-old Palestinian boy was stopped at an Israeli checkpoint and turned out to have a bomb in his backpack. Both Israeli and Palestinian officials believe that the boy did not know what he was carrying.

Moslems don't like the US - who would have thought...

CNN has printed an article about Europe and Moslem allies being suspicious of the US.

Basically, Europeans think that the US acts in its own interests (duh, surprise, doesn't everybody?), that the US doesn't make a sufficient effort to consider the interests of other countries as well in their policy decisions (unfortunately true), and Europeans are jealous of American power and want some too (well, guys, keep working on it - IMO a stronger EU would be a good thing).

Let's see about the Moslem allies:

"People in the surveyed Muslim countries remain angry about U.S. policies, and even supportive of Osama bin Laden, the Saudi terrorist who took credit for the September 11 terrorist attacks on the United States.

Almost two-thirds of the people in Pakistan say they view bin Laden favorably -- a significant finding because U.S. troops are trying to find bin Laden in the mountainous region on the border of Pakistan and Afghanistan.

More than half of those in Jordan and almost half of those polled in Morocco had a favorable view of the Saudi terrorist."

"About half in Pakistan said suicide bombings carried out by Palestinians against Israelis and against U.S. troops in Iraq can be justified. Two-thirds or more in Jordan and Morocco say it can be justified in both situations."

Hmm, what was it about only a tiny percentage of Moslems being supportive of terrorists?

Great news

Look at that! They have found Bush's brain! Who would have thought...

Yesterday spent a nice evening drinking with Anu. At some point we talked a lot about Myers-Briggs types. I am a INTP, in case anyone cares, and the description behind that link is in fact pretty good.

We have also established once again that Pol Remy Brut has the best price/performance rate of all the parkling wines sold in Alko.

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

France's turn?

Le Parisien has received a letter, allegedly from an organization called Servants of Mighty and Wise Allah, signed by somebody calling himself Mosvar Barayev. Mosvar Barayev is definitely not a real name but a version of the name of Movsar Barayev, a Chechnyan terrorist who led the hostage taking in a theater in Moscow in October 2002 and has died a more or less natural death from the bullets of Russian special forces.

Servants of Mighty and Wise Allah is not a known terrorist organization AFAIK.

Apparently failing to cooperate with the USA on the Iraq war is insufficient to avoid being labeled an enemy of Islam. They are pissed off at the anti-veil law. Here are some bits (translation mine, sorry for lack of style):

"We had excluded you from a certain category of your brethern in misdeeds, because of your opposition to the unjust agression of Crusaders in Iraq, but you have yourselves decided to put your name on the list of the most fierce enemies of Islam, in engaging in these discussions and especially in ordering our sisters to live their faith in a way different from the way they want to do it, and this is serious."

"...we consider France to be a declared enemy of Islam, like the rest of the coalition and the North African and Arab governments that collaborate with you; and we intend to strike back."

"With this abhorrent, discriminatory and anti-Islamic law you have proved to the entire world and all the Moslems that you are right on Devil's side, and we will treat you as such till the last day unless you change your decision and obey the order of Allah, who is also your God."

Discriminatory law? Those guys have surely missed the ban on all other religions' symbols in school. Oops, I forgot, there is only one True Religion and others don't matter. I don't know whether "who is also your God" refers to the fact that we are all people of the Book (yeah, right, and quite ready to hit each other over the head with said book) or their belief that their Allah should be everyone else's as well.

"Know that we have been able to penetrate and establish ourselves in your lands, the same ones where Charles Martel and his troops have defeated us, the land of pride and arrogance, wine and pork, debauchery and nudity, you who refuse the Faith and the modesty."

Was that supposed to be claim that Moslems should not be allowed into civilized countries, or a hint about the need for a new Charles Martel? I think both can be arranged should the need come. (Charles Martel was a Frankish warlord who kicked Islamic ass in 732 during the battle of Poitiers.)

"So we are going to strike back, following the success of our brothers from 11.9.2001 to 11.3.2004, at your unceasing attacks, and ask Allah to sow fear in the hearts of the French."

"Our organization, somewhat hurt, has been able to recover by the grace of Allah, and become more important and master new technologies, and ensure a massive recruitment of Jihad volunteers, and Europe is the new land of Jihad."

Gee, thanks for the warning.

The rest is the usual "we'll kick your ass, yadda yadda yadda" and "our brothers in Chechnya, Palestine, Iraq, French schools and Mars, yadda yadda yadda".

Reading while shitting, or little mysteries of life (rather tasteless)

Ever since I was a little kid I noticed that some people take a very long time trying to shit. It normally takes me all of five seconds to lay a log, so I never quite understood what the hell they were doing there, but I knew that people like that are fairly common and it seemed natural to me that people who take half an hour to squeeze out a loaf should want something to read while sitting there. So I have always assumed that people who read on the crapper are the people who spend a lot of time there.

Until, about 3 years ago, I got affected by a horrible ReadingInTheToiletDisease. I don't know how or why it happened or whether there is a cure.

It's really pathetic. I feel an urge, I grab a book (a newspaper is definitely not enough), I go there, I sit down and read five words, and after that I have to put the damn book aside and wipe. I don't know what causes the compulsion to read those five words.

Does this happen to any other people who shit fast? Does anybody know why? Should we organize some self-help group like Pathetic Toilet Readers Anonymous?

Divided we fall (a lot of spoilers)

Saw the best part (last third) of Divided we fall again yesterday, and wow, was it good! I'd almost forgotten how good it was. Gotta see the whole thing again now, as soon as I can.

This is a movie full of various bad guys: the Nazis are cruel and scary, the liberators are almost as cruel and scary as the Nazis, the Nazi collaborator is so weasely that even his own friends cannot trust him, the resistance fighters are evil, hypocritical and self-righteous, and in comparison with all that the protagonists, a couple who just wants to survive and be left in relative peace and maybe have a kid if they can elicits all the possible sympathy from the viewers. Naming that couple Josef and Maria was a bit too much, but that's OK.

By the last third of the movie Josef, Maria and everyone else are bound together by the realization that if they don't cooperate with each other they are really, really gonna have their asses kicked. Watching their attempts at cooperation is fascinating especially considering the amount of distaste they have for each other by that point.

Spring! Spring!

Almost all the ice on the sidewalks has melted, the temperature has been above zero for more than 24 hours and I think that last Sunday's snowfall was this winter's last one. Therefore I can officially declare that spring has started.

It smells disgusting in here because there is a house burning across the street. It was burning yesterday too, and therefore must be some kind of exercise for the firefighters. I only wish they'd exercise somewhere else.

My software has a bug and I have to figure out where.

Psychological torture

Several Britons were released from Guantanamo. One of them told journalists that some of the men were tortured by showing them naked women. Not sure if it's true, but if it is, has Pentagon gone completely nuts? Showing terrorists naked women is hardly a way to discourage terrorism.

Monday, March 15, 2004

Wow, a fellow semi-Bostonian in Finnish Blogistan.

Hmm, wouldn't Finnish Blogistan rather be Blogimaa or Blogila or something?


I used to think that trying to get people to protest the use of dihydrogen monoxide is a very old prank, but apparently it still works on someone. The someone in question are the officials of Aliso Viejo, California. They proposed the law banning foams cups as they contain dihydrogen monoxide, which, as we all know, could threaten human health and safety. Read more about it in Boston Globe.

Krav Maga

Went to an evening class for the first time. It was quite a shock to suddenly find myself in a class of 40 people rather that 15 as am accustommed to. Women's dressing room was totally overrun, and the smell of 40 people is a lot more noticeable than that of 15.

We learned 3 different attacks from behind and the 1002d way to kick people in the balls. Amazing what differend kinds of nasty things you can do to people's hands when they are strangling you. Remind me never to strangle anyone.


Saw Pride and Prejudice with a group of friends and thought I must be the only living person in Europe that'd never seen it before, but then Satu came and apparently she'd never seen it before either. I'd never read the book, either, and therefore didn't understand a lot of things until Anu explained them to me. It was a very good series, too, even though it was supposed to be very romantic and its romanticism did not quite work for me. Mr Darcy looked severely constipated all the time, and, besides, I kept remembering Bridget Jones's fictional interview with Colin Firth in Bridget Jones: the edge of reason where he tells her that the director told him to imagine that Mr Darcy has a permanent huge erection.

I think that the only movie where Victorian romanticism has ever worked for me was The Age of Innocence. It might have had something to do with the fact that some characters' problems were close to mine at the moment, or with the two little bottles of wine and two of cognac that I had enjoyed on the plane right before seeing the movie.

After the movie had a few drinks and a good conversation with Anu and Satu, and then watched Ringu by myself. It was well worth watching but wasn't really scary as they promised, more thrillery-like.

In other news

CNN was shocked enough by the events in Madrid to start using the word "terrorist" again, which is news in itself.

Two suicide bombings in Israel killed 10 people and wounded 20.

A bomb in front of US Consulate in Karachi and another one in front of a US bank in Athens; both defused.

A man in California is charged with killing 9 of his children, 2 of whom were also his grandchildren. His son (one of the remaining ones, obviously) commented that "He's the best dad anybody could ever have". Urgh, thanks, I think I like mine better.

China thinks Taiwan threatens stability in the region. Let's see: Taiwan is trying to have a referendum on independence, China is threatening to attack Taiwan if they declare independence, and China says Taiwan is threatening stability in the region? Why does China even bother, considering that Taiwan has in fact, if not officially, been independent for the last 55 years?

Chinese Prime Minister Wen Jiabao is warning Taiwan. "The straits that separate us can never cut off such bonds of flesh and blood," he says. "Only when the blood of the native son flows back to its native place will it stop boiling." I think there is too much blood in his metaphors.

Putin got elected again.

Spain again

On Saturday morning a rather smart and rather cynical guy I know (I am not sure whether he wants to be mentioned by name, so won't just in case) wrote me an email saying that the Conservative Party is pretending that ETA is guilty until the election in order to boost the ratings, and I guess he was right. By Saturday night the Spanish people caught on too, and on Sunday they voted Socialists in. It's of course the Conservatives' own fault if they tried to cash in on the situation by blaming ETA, but I find it extremely unfortunate that if whoever was behind the attacks intended to affect the election they have achieved their objective.

The Socialists immediately announced that they are withdrawing troops from Iraq, which is very unfortunate too and was badly done. I don't mean the fact that they are withdrawing troops from Iraq - they promised it all along and now they need to make good on that promise - but now was a really bad time to advertise it.

Apparently somebody out there has read my diary (yeah, right) and decided that we are gonna have 3 minutes of silence today. Good.

The Spanish have caught three Moroccans and two Indians in connection with the terrorist acts. Moroccans I can understand, but WTF would Indians be doing with Islamic terrorism? The guys in question are apparently Hindus.

Sunday, March 14, 2004

The Isengard that we have in the middle of Kamppi is being filled up with metal things, which makes it look even more Isengardy.

Had Diskurssi today, which is a party where one of the participants gives a lecture on some subject. Meira was telling us about apocryphal books. The matter couldn't interest me less to begin with, but her presentation was both interesting and funny. I guess that's the point of Diskurssi, hearing people say interesting things on the topic that don't interest you enough to find out about them otherwise.


Just saw Intermission, and wish to hell I hadn't. I mean, it's a prefectly OK comedy, with adequate plot, dialogue, characters and acting, but the camera moves in handheld or handheld-like jerky movements that tend to make me feel like throwing up. Almost as bad as in Breaking the Waves, Dancer in the Dark and Blair Witch Project. Breaking the Waves and Blair Witch Project actually did make me throw up, although in the former case it was helped by eating the fish that my then-boyfriend Teemu had forgotten to put in the fridge for 3 days. Anyways I generally don't expect such emetic force in a movie unless made by Lars von Fucking Trier, so was totally taken by surprise here. If you are sensitive to that kind of thing don't go to see it.

Yeah, and if I want to hear pistol shots at a realistic volume, which I definitely don't, I'll take off my earplugs at the shooting range while everyone else is shooting. I don't want to hear realistic shots in a movie.

Saturday, March 13, 2004

Ehrnrooth finally buried

General Adolf Ehrnrooth, who has died about two weeks ago, has finally been buried.

I know I am being silly and it's just a cultural difference that comes from the fact that Jews used to live in hot places and needed to bury their dead fast and for Finns who lived and still live in a cold place the burial matters were a lot less urgent, but I always have a horror reaction when I hear about Finnish funerals that take place weeks after a person is dead: "Eek! They let the guy lie unburied for two weeks! The heathens!"

Friday, March 12, 2004

Minutes of silence

When 9/11 happened a lot of countries held a few minutes of silence in the memory of the victims. A lot of people criticized that, of course, for a variety of reasons, but I don't think it was stupid and I wish we had a few minutes of silence in the memory of the people killed in Madrid yesterday. I guess I'll just have a few minutes of silence all by myself, although it does not amount to much because I haven't said anything for hours anyway.

I wonder how high a percentage of the population of greater Madrid knows or knew a person who was killed or injured yesterday? I am sure sociologists have some kind of a formula for that but I don't know it.

Work sucks (or rather sucked yesterday)

Was a horrible day of fighting with the fucking Lisp software, and a severe headache at the same time, but by 2 in the morning the software started doing what it had to, which is a relief.

Krav Maga

Yesterday was my first time in the non-beginners group. Was fun except that I discovered many things that cannot (yet) do. Will learn even though rolling over my head in either direction feels impossible.

The uniform sucks. It consists of a tiny black t-shirt and huge black pants that keep trying to fall off. Running during the warm-up (and in general) has always been hard for me, but doing it while wearing the ball protector causes pain in new and interesting places. My shin protectors that I used to use in Karate are not very appropriate for Krav Maga, gotta fix them.

Learned some new anti-strangling techniques. 1001 ways to kick your strangler in the balls. Works on women, too.

In other news

Utah has charged a woman for murder for refusing a C-section. She had twins, one of whom was stillborn. It's so dusturbing that I have no comment. Where do we go from here?

California Supreme Court has order San Francisco to stop issuing marriage licenses to gays. It did not invalidate the licenses already issued. Massachusetts legislators have proposed an anti-gay-marriage amendment, which will or won't be voted upon in 2006. Massachusetts legislators being what they are, amendment does not mention at all what would happen to all gay couples already married if it passes. The gay marriages in Massachusetts will start by May 17 this year, unless the state wants to be in contempt of the court.

South Korean lawmakers battle each other. With fists. Entertainment for the people! See your tax money at work! That might raise the taxes to buy all those boxing gloves though.

Madrid, again

198 dead, about 1400 wounded. Abu Hafs al-Masri Brigade claimed the attack, but they are the kind of people who'd claim even an earthquake given the opportunity. Authorities are investigating the possible Abu Hafs al-Masri Brigade or other Al Qaeda involvement, but the prime suspects are still ETA. They found a van with detonators and Koranic teachings, but if ETA is smart they'd have left such a van.

I find myself almost hoping that it was ETA and not some camel-loving gentlemen, because the Spanish won't start beating up Basques for ETA terrorism, and if it turns out to be Al Qaeda many Arabs who had nothing to do with it are fairly likely to get beaten up for no good reason.

Thursday, March 11, 2004

More on Madrid

173 dead, 711 injured, everyone says ETA, except for (surprise, surprise) Batasuna's leader Arnaldo Otegi who blames everything on Arabs. He points out that ETA has always warned about their terrorist attacks and here there was no warning, but obviously with an attack of such magnitude no terrorist organization, ETA included, would want to admit it, because if tomorrow Spanish government decided to fujimorize or mubarakize all known ETA members the Spanish people (including Basques) will cheer, and they know it.

I am pissed off, by the way. Really, physically pissed off and feel like strangling someone (someone responsible for the bombings, of course). An attack on normal people going to work in the morning on some emotional level feels like a personal attack on myself, be it here or in the USA or in Spain or in South Korea. And the thought of somebody trying to blow me up always makes me feel like killing the guilty party in extremely painful and unprintable way.

Hmm, is that what they call empathy?


An antibiotic resistant strain of gonorrhea has spread in Massachusetts. How? Are they having sex nowadays or something? I have spent a year there in 2001 and it was impossible to get anyone to have sex without promising them children, mortgage and eternal love. Finally I gave up and moved back to Finland.

131 dead, 400 wounded. Shit.


Yesterday we finally had the first real session of our Praedor campaign. Found the horse of some wounded earl and later the man himself in the local inn, and fought off 10 assasins from a Red Wolf assasin secret society who wanted to finish the job (killed 9 of them). They were really bad. My character Nisa, who is an assasin too, is currently feeling deep shame on behalf of the whole profession, and is trying to convice the one captured assasin that he is in the wrong field.

Argh! Argh!

Madrid, trains, explosions, 62 dead and 350 injured so far, and you all have probably read all about it already.

CNN says that it is not known yet who did it. El Pais seems to be sure that it's ETA. Apparently Spain was on high alert for an ETA attack already, but obviously insufficiently high. Although if they hadn't been the casualties would have been worse, since they caught two assholes with 500 kg of explosives and a timing device a couple of weeks ago.

ETA is a Basque separatist terrorist group. Their objective is to create an independent Marxist Basque state, and probably to earn some money in the process. The support for their political party, Herri Batasuna, was at about 10% in the Basque region during the last election. Their main sources of income are extortion (called "revolutionary tax") from local businesses, bank robberies and kidnapping for ransom. The activities that they finance in such a revolutionary way are car bombings and assasinations in Basque region and elsewhere in Spain, as well as terrorizing their political opponents in the Basque region and professors in the Basque univeristies who speak out against ETA or against independence. Especially the latter activity sounds so Marxist that there is no doubt in my mind as to what kind of society they would like to establish if the Basque region becomes independent.

Personally I have no opinion on Basque independence, but a very strong opinion on what should be done to the ETA. You can probably guess it. And no, unfortunately I don't know how.

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Domestic violence

Janka writes about the stupidity of a campaign where men have to declare that they are against violence, as if unless declared so it should be assumed that all men are for violence. I agree with her wholeheartedly. However, since such campaigns exist, since I support equality unless it costs me too much, and since this does not cost me anything, I would like to declare here that I am opposed to illegitimate violence in general and domestic violence in particular, that I promise not to beat up any men around me (Krav Maga sparring partners excluded, of course, but they don't count since they are wearing protective gear), that I haven't beaten Killeri up today, or yesterday, or ever, and haven't ever hit any of my previous sex partners, either. I also encourage all my female friends not to beat up their boyfriends and husbands. You see? Good, nonviolent me.

ATN and Birdy are shocked that some study finds that 30% of men find it sexy when a woman looks scared. Is it something particularly surprising or alarming? I find it sexy when men look scared too, but I don't run around scaring people for that, and I suppose the vast majority of those folks don't either.

Birdy also quotes the statistic saying that every year 80-90 men get murdered (incl. manslaughter) and 40 women, 30 of them by a spouse/ex-spouse/boyfriend. 2% of murdered men are killed by the spouse, and 95% of women are (by the numbers above it would be 75%, and Birdy notices this discrepancy as well). Interesting... Gotta check the Finnish statistics if I find them.

An American study from 1994 (Bureau of Justice Statistics Special Report: Murder in Families) found that in spouse murders women represent 41% percent of the killers, in child murders 55%, in parent murders 18% and in sibling murders 15%. You can read the whole report here.

Abu Abbas: an epitaph

Mohammed Abu Abbas (born Mohammed Zaidan) has died in US custody in Iraq, apparently of natural causes. Well, I suppose for a person in his line of work a bullet in the head would be a most natural cause, which is not to imply that he died of a bullet in the head. He was 56, and the leader of a terrorist organization called Palestine Liberation Front.

Abu Abbas's life's greatest achievement was his heroic victory in a gunfight with Leon Klinghoffer, a 69-year old wheelchair-bound disabled senior citizen. The victory was assured by the fact that Klinghoffer was unarmed. I am sure that all the virgins that Abu Abbas will receive in heaven as a reward for this achievement will be also at least 69 years old, wheelchair-bound, but armed with hot pokers for a change.

The event he is most known for is the hijacking of the Achille Lauro cruise ship in 1985, which is where he won his rather one-sided gunfight with Klinghoffer. Abu Abbas has later claimed that the hijacking was an accident. Tell it to the judge.

In 1990 he organized a boat attack on a beach near Tel Aviv, but Israeli military has intercepted it and demonstrated that rubber boats don't work very well with bullet holes.

In his later years Abu Abbas declared himself a man of peace and was educating the younger generation of terrorists in training camps in Iraq.

For his various achievements Italy has awarded him a life sentence, United States have declared him a wanted person and PLO has elected him to its Executive Council.

Burn in hell, asshole.

Bought a truckload of Krav Maga gear yesterday. The uniform sucks like all uniforms do. The fucking pants were designed with basketball players in mind and are way too long. The ball protector for women is a sort of giant g-string, and those things always feel like dental floss in your ass (not that ever really tried putting dental floss in ass but I am sure that's what it would feel like).

I noticed that the muscle in the right hip that I pulled badly last Vappu does not hurt anymore, or at least not more than the symmetrical one in the left hip. Apparently it finally healed, or else I pulled the left one too and don't notice the difference anymore.

Saw Mystic River yesterday. It was pretty good. Clint Eastwood has finally learned to make fairly good movies although checking the little facts is not his strong point.

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

In the last few days there have been headlines saying "female managers are childless more often than other women". I wonder why none of the headlines said "childless women are managers more often than other women".

Spring and horny strangers

Spring is here, as evidenced by the number of men in the streets who seek to inform me of my breast size, or of their desire to have sex with me.

Incidentally, none of the strangers who came up in the street to ask me for sex have ever gotten lucky, usually simply because I have enough acquaintances that I find desirable so that don't have to have sex with strangers, and on the very few occasions in my life when I wanted to have sex with strangers I picked them up at bars and university parties. In any case, the street guys are just wasting their time and mine, except that of course they don't know it.

In winter they are in hybernation. In spring they crawl out and start asking. In the really high summer there are usually a few who don't even speak any Finnish or English.

Of the ones who approach me here in Finland about 40% are Finns, 30% are Africans, 20% are Middle Easterners and 10% are from elsewhere. Finns are usually drunk; the rest of them less so.

Finns usually start by informing me that I have large breasts, usually looking like they are reporting a great scientific discovery to a person for whom to must be big news. The desire to say "Oh, really? I didn't know" or "Or my god! What happened? They were only size A yesterday!" is overwhelming, and sometimes I do. One Vappu night while waiting for a bus I even managed to convince an extremely drunk guy that they are not really big and that he is just seeing a hallucination. After informing me of my breast size they usually ask for sex. Finns also often offer money. The good thing about them is that the vast majority of them understand "thanks, but no thanks" and just leave politely. Those who don't usually need just a little demonstration of my inner beauty to send them running.

Africans and Middle Easterners are a lot stickier. They sometimes follow me for 10-20 minutes or more, trying to convince me that I should want to have sex with them. They are usually fairly repetitive and incredulous at the suggestion that someone doesn't want to have sex with them, although apparently there are a lot of people that don't. Mentioning the boyfriend rarely helps, since they claim they can be better boyfriends than the one I already have. Many of them claim to want to be just friends, but, in spite of being friends with a number of men, I have a certain reservation about the ones suddenly offering their friendship in the streets, especially since they tend to balk at the proposal that they go and try to be friends with that guy over there (usually pointing to some friendly-looking guy).
To their honor Africans rarely play the racism card, but they often play the "black men have bigger dicks" card.

BTW, have any of my male readers ever been approached in the street by an African or Middle Eastern man for the purpose of being friends?

Last year I started asking those insistent African/Middle Eastern guys whether their approach ever works. So far the only answer was "no".

The most amuzing encounter last year was an Indian or Bangladeshi (guessing from appearance) man who told me that black guys have bigger dicks. No, he wasn't black.

And in case any of you who don't know me in person are wondering, I am not particularly pretty or anything. Just big-breasted and walk in downtown a lot.

Friendship between men and women

Kilpikonna writes about impossibility of friendship between men and women. IMO the opinion that men and women cannot be friends is usually widespread among the following four groups of people: 1) people who are indeed so horny all the time that they are unable to think of anything else in the presence of the other sex, 2) people who genuinely believe that everyone wants to have sex with them all the time, 3) people who are severely jealous and are trying to isolate their partner from the friends of the opposite sex just in case and 4) cognitive lower class. I shall not speculate to which group(s) Kilpikonna belongs.

Sorry for the ad hominem.

Most of the believers in the impossibility of friendship between men and women make two claims: that any friendship between men and women involves sexual desire on one side or the other, or both, and that a friendship that involves such a desire cannot be considered a real friendship. The first claim is usually supported by personal experience and the second one by nothing at all.

As Kilpikonna mentions the first claim could be tested. We all know with whom we want to have sex and how much. The willingness of the friends of the opposite sex can be tested by asking them to have sex with you. Naturally this should only be done with the ones with whom you want to have sex, which skews the sample a bit. My fairly educated guess is that 10 years ago about one third of my male friends would have had sex with me if I asked; nowadays maybe one fifth, mostly due to the fact that nowadays most of them have wives or/and girlfriends.

Another way of testing this claim (or rather the claim that men are in the friendship only is hope of sex) is taking note of whether male friends disappear when either you or they find a partner. For some having a partner is no problem, but since when the object of your attentions gets a partner it lowers your chances severely, surely some guys would give up. In my experience, male friends do not usually disappear when they find a girlfriend, or when I find a boyfriend.

As to the second claim - I agree it wouldn't be pleasant if someone were "friends" with me just in hope of sex, but IMO it does not mean that sex or sexual desire spoils friendship. Yes, sometimes you want to have sex with your friends, and if you are lucky they want to have sex with you too. You don't wake up enemies the next morning, you are still friends, unless one or both are seriously fucked up. And sometimes you want to have sex with your friends and they don't, or maybe the other way around. You should be able to handle it. If you are pissed off by the fact that a friend has dared to express sexual interest in you, or if you are pissed off by the fact that after all these years your friend still doesn't have a slightest sexual interest in you, it's not because friendship between men and women is impossible. It's because you are being a bad friend. (Obviously if you have told them you are not interested and they continue insisting or asking way too often, they are being bad and not you.)

Rakasta jos uskallat (little spoilers)

Went to see Rakasta jos uskallat with Heli. (Original title Jeux d'enfants, English title Love me if you dare). The movie fits into the category of pseudoartistic French-language movies with mentally unstable protagonists, but is in fact fun to watch in spite of said mentally unstable protagonists getting rather obnoxious towards the end.

I understand of course that it's not always easy to make a movie about nice and sensible people, but one does not have to make movies where all the main characters are fucked in the head in such a severe way, really.


Wow, Massachusetts has finally allowed liquor stores to open on Sundays. It's nice to see that at least some good came from the current governor. Will buy liquor every Sunday just for the hell of it when I get there in fall.

How I got accused of sexual harassment

Unlike most of my stories I won't name the participants by their full names, simply because some of them are still in court under criminal prosecution, they are gonna get what is coming to them and I don't care to add fuel into the fire. The people who were there will of course know who I am talking about, but then they know about the events already.

Way back in 1990 when I was a senior in B****line High School I took German 1 just for the hell of it. The teacher, who was also a foreign student counselor, was Mr. U*ich, a man of about 50. He made all the kinds of sexual jokes in the classroom, which did not bother me at all and did not strike me as odd at the time.What did strike me as odd is his habit of fondling boys' thighs and buttocks, especially when the boys obviously did not like it.

I used to sit next to a guy named Andre, who was a nice person to talk with, and for some reason Mr. U*ich was always trying to joke about what Andre and I were supposedly doing in bed (which we weren't). I did not mind in general although it did get boring when repeated 10 times during the same lesson.

At some point Mr. U*ich got himself a trainee teacher who was fairly intelligent and apparently spoke German well but lacked any skills needed for teaching, any sense of humor, and most social skills in general. He gave the better students, Andre and myself included, to her, and kept the rest himself.

One day around the end of the school year we were given evaluation forms that asked our honest opinion of our teachers. I wrote that the trainee teacher is a young woman and still has time to change her career, because she sure as hell is not gonna be any good in this one. During the same day Andre and I ran into Mr. U*ich and he started joking about our sexual life again, and asked me "Are you going to the prom with Andre?" (In case somebody does not know, a prom is a really big party in the end of senior and in some cases junior year.) "Why, no, Mr. U*ich, " I answered. "I am going to the prom with you, and then to an orgy." We (all three of us) laughed and went our own way.

In the afternoon I get a note to see my guidance counselor Ms. D*vis after school. That means trouble, and I am wondering what kind, or rather whether it is connected to my somewhat harsh teacher evaluation. Ms. D*vis was usually a fairly nice middle-aged woman who would be best described in Finnish as "kukkahattutäti", a perfectly good guidance counselor except, of course, for the question that if one knows what career to choose why on earth would one become a high school guidance counselor? Anyway, she is there and Mr. U*ich with her, and they look deadly serious and tell me to sit down.

"Vera, " says she, "I don't want to hurt your feelings, but is it true that you wanted to have sex with Mr. U*ich and told him so today?"
"No!" I scream, horrified. And then I start explaining, somewhat hysterically, that it was a joke, that I understand it was a bad joke, that I am very sorry and that Mr. U*ich has nothing to fear since I wouldn't touch him even if he were the last man on Earth.

After five minutes of this heartfelt confession of my profound lack of sexual attraction towards Mr. U*ich they feel they'd had enough, tell me that they believe me and start berating me for making such jokes in school. At the same time they told me that I was unexcusably harsh towards the trainee teacher and will completely ruin her self-esteem and her belief in that she can teach. I insist that this is exactly the point because she cannot teach and someone should tell her about it, better sooner than later. They figure I won't change my mind and continue explaining me about how sexual jokes don't belong in school.

That really pisses me off. I mean, I can understand that other people might have a different sense of propriety and people don't necessarily like me and my jokes, but I was not going to listen to a lecture on the subject from a guy who makes even dirtier jokes 50 times during each lesson, and I told them so.

"I am sure you understood Mr. U*ich wrong," says Ms. D*vis. "Language barrier and all."
"I am sure I understood him right, and if you think I shouldn't believe my ears I can at least believe my eyes when he grabs boys' asses."
"Don't tell such things about Mr. U*ich. He is a family man."
"Family men can like teenage boys as well. You don't believe me, ask M.G." M.G. was the guy Mr. U*ich grabbed most often, and also the one most uncomfortable with it. Then I listed a few more names.

At this point Mr. U*ich declared that I was completely forgiven and retreated from the office. Ms. D*vis started preaching to me in a motherly tone that I look so open and friendly that people will want to take advantage of me, that I should look meaner, etc. She says that if I look meaner and wear more clothes the stupid buggers who are always sitting detention in the office won't comment about the size of my breasts. I answered that a price/performance value of such a change would be unacceptable since wearing more clothes in 40-degree heat is obviously more trouble than enduring occasional comments about the size and the alleged authenticity, or lack thereof, of my tits.

Then she read a lecture on the subject of "no woman is ever safe, not even in her own home, watch out" and "when you see a cute guy you'd probably want to tell your friends 'He is gorgeous, I wanna go out with him' but please don't make it so obvious to him". To that I answered that the verb I'd be using wouldn't exactly be "go out" but she told ne not to use such words in school. Finally she came to the lecture "there are horny (she used a more polite word that I can't remember) men everywhere looking for innocent women like yourself". "Where?" asked I, sounding way more enthusiastic than I intended to. (The question was meant to express disbelief rather than an enquiry about the present whereabouts of horny men.) At that she gave up on me and let me go.

Last year Mr. U*ich was arrested and charged with 10 counts of indecent assault and battery on a child over 14 for fondling the asses of boys who did not like it. Not the same boys that he fondled back then, different boys. He is still waiting for his trial. I felt like writing Ms. D*vis a letter saying "I told you so" but she had retired already.

Monday, March 08, 2004

In the news

Iraq has got an interim constitution now. Instead of going to all this trouble they could borrow ours (US), we are not using it anyway at the moment. (OK, I know it's old, but just couldn't resist.)

Director of UCLA Willed Body program has been arrested, apparently for stealing body parts. Damn, and I though it was embarassing when Anya and Masha got caught trying to steal a skeleton from Boston University...

Venezuela's president Hugo Chavez is threatening the USA with 100-year war if the USA attack. I assume he means some new one that would last 100 years, not the one that happened in 14th-15th century, because if he means the latter then not even the Department of Homeland Security will take him seriously. Chavez made a big mistake with this threat: yesterday Bush was probably happily unaware of the existence of Venezuela, and now it's a threat to world peace.

Movies (no spoilers)

Saw Paycheck a few days ago. I expected it to be bad, because IMO quality of John Woo's movies has been going down since Face/Off, but it was surprisingly good, fast-paced in exactly the right way and interesting. Good enough to keep the viewer (myself, anyway) properly excited at all times. Just like a proper thriller should be.

Yesterday finally saw The Last Samurai. Was quite a watchable movie, even though probably not particularly historically accurate. OTOH I generally find movies that feature men on horses with big swords watchable, especially when feeling tired and lazy. Women on on horses with big swords would do too, but there wasn't any in this movie. This being a Hollywood movie I did not expect to see any cute guys and was pleasantly surprised to see Hiroyuki Sanada there.

There was also a trailer of Blueberry which was nice and made me think I want to see that movie even if that means having to look at Vincent Cassel's face for two hours, but after reading viewer's comments on IMDB I am not so sure.

Speaking about trailers, when I went to a movie last week they had a really awful trailer of Twins that had about every spoiler one could give for that movie. Ugh.

Ordered Divided we Fall yesterday. It's a strange Czech movie with a boring run-of-the-mill Holocaust movie beginning (nothing against Holocaust movies, I like watching them, but this one begins like one of those made-straight-for-video low-budget we-can't-afford-proper-cameras Holocaust movies) that gets progressively better and better and is very good at the end.

Human sacrifice

People, at least in civilized countries, tend to disapprove of human sacrifice. For some reason they also seem to believe that human sacrifice was a feature of barbaric ancient cultures and is now dead and buried. Nevertheless all or almost all Western countries practice human sacrifice in the form of army draft - AFAIK all the Western countries reserve the right to draft a certain segment of their population in case of war, except maybe for Monaco and suchlike small countries that figure that having an army won't help much anyway. I don't see any fundamental differences between sacrificing virgins to the Rain God, and sacrificing young men to protect the country from another country, except that the latter is obviously much more efficient. In fact almost every time I bring up this analogy the first thing people say is that soldiers and armies are way more efficient than virgins and Rain Gods.

This raises the question: do people really disapprove of human sacrifice to gods just because it's very inefficient, but not on general principle, and would Western people approve of human sacrifices to the Rain God if there really were a Rain God and the sacrifices were indeed rewarded with rain?

Sunday, March 07, 2004

Shit for the Olympics

Lately a few people have told me they like stories about Russia just for their absurdity value. If any of you can read Russian, I'd like to bring to your attention Borya's story about giving shit for the Olympic games.


Very tired after the crazy week. Managed to go to two parties, which was good because they were good parties, but had to leave both at 12:30 because of being tired. Did not do anything else yesterday apart from staying in bed and reading a book.

Kristiina and others are discussing the frequency of seeing friends in Janka's log. Kristiina basically says that she likes seeing her friends at least once overy two weeks, and everyone else mostly says that they don't see their friends every two weeks. I don't see these as mutually exclusive things: I mostly want to see my friends fairly often but really get to see them (with the exception of very few people) a lot less often, and IMO it's fairly normal due to having limited time, a lot of friends who also have limited time, and some friends who live god knows where.

Friday, March 05, 2004

Comparative religion

Tanya told me about an encounter with an Azerbaijani cab driver. She took the cab in Moscow and was chatting with the driver and at some point he asked her about her ethnicity. Caucasian people (obviously in the narrow sense of the word) are often curious about those things. After making him guess for a while she told him that she is Jewish by ethnicity and Christian by religion and that a lot of people tend to be surprised by the fact.

The man looked confused for a second and asked: "You means Jews are normally not Christians? What are they then, Moslems?"

Thursday, March 04, 2004

Kilpikonna again

Kilpikonnana maailmassa believes that a culture of selfishness will get you nowehere and the culture where members can and want to sacrifice themselves and their demands to the common good is the way to go. She also thinks that no civilization or state can support itself without people being ready to sacrifice themselves for it, and, like the vast majority of people who write about sacrifices, she encourages other people (in this case men) to do the sacrifice (go to the army).

As her own sacrifice for the common good she promises to give birth to new taxpayers if her fertility treatments work. Hey, it's fun to do whatever you want to do anyway and consider it a sacrifice of some kind. I think I'll sacrifice for the common good by eating sushi tonight.

This entry should not be seen as support for drafing women into the army. I don't support drafting men, women, or little furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.

For some reason I feel that the appropriate quote from Durrenmatt should be put here, but I don't know the German original and translations are many, but the rough translation is that when a country wants the blood of its children it starts calling itself fatherland.


Boss finally bought tea, and therefore is not pointy-haired anymore, but a nice boss.

Still can't believe I passed the Krav Maga test. Now I gotta pay the club dues and buy uniform pants and t-shirt and ball protector, although obviously don't have any balls.

Ball protectors are funny. First of all they make a funny sound when you kick them. Also they are very difficult to distinguish from an erection, especially when wrestling with men on the floor. I am still sort of surprised every time I sit on a guy and discover something hard. If the partner is a woman I hope it's safe to assume that it's not an erection.

Hmm, do I need a mouth protector too? They told us to get shin and ball protectors.

Krav Maga

Holy shit, I have passed the test! Did not get the paper though because am 5 lessons short of attendance requirement, will get the paper after I've been there 5 times more. Am a great martial artist and a scary killing machine.

Somehow managed 50 very shallow pushups during the test, which is more than I've done altogether during my lifetime.

Ass hurts and so does some stomach muscle that I did not know I had.


Woke up with a hangover and a realization that eek, Krav Maga test. Started trying to remember the techniques but then the pointy-haired boss called and told me to do a thing for work, so was running a bit late and did not have time to remember any techniques. Bosses really should not call people in the middle of the night.

The boss is pointy-haired not because he calls people at unfortunate times, but because the office is running out of tea and he always forgets to buy some more even though programmers run on tea, or I do anyway. Although a couple of times he has bought me beer, so is not totally pointy-haired.