Ever since I was a little kid I noticed that some people take a very long time trying to shit. It normally takes me all of five seconds to lay a log, so I never quite understood what the hell they were doing there, but I knew that people like that are fairly common and it seemed natural to me that people who take half an hour to squeeze out a loaf should want something to read while sitting there. So I have always assumed that people who read on the crapper are the people who spend a lot of time there.
Until, about 3 years ago, I got affected by a horrible ReadingInTheToiletDisease. I don't know how or why it happened or whether there is a cure.
It's really pathetic. I feel an urge, I grab a book (a newspaper is definitely not enough), I go there, I sit down and read five words, and after that I have to put the damn book aside and wipe. I don't know what causes the compulsion to read those five words.
Does this happen to any other people who shit fast? Does anybody know why? Should we organize some self-help group like Pathetic Toilet Readers Anonymous?
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
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