I want nukes

Imagine that I have come to Rautatientori with a pistol. I aim it at one person, then at another, and tell them that I'll kill them all. Would anybody say "don't worry, she doesn't really mean it"? "Don't worry, it's just her usual rhetoric, just look at all her postings mentioning raping people with cactii." "She just wants to look scary so that people will give her some money." (I believe the technical term for the latter is "armed robbery".)

How long will I have to threaten before the talk starts to shift from "she doesn't really mean it" to "she probably doesn't really mean it, and her pistol is probably no good anyway, and she is probably a lousy shot"? And if I threaten to go home and get a proper automatic weapon, will people actually wait for me to do that?

If nobody is gonna take that shit from me, why are people taking it from a dude who a) actually has nukes, b) has threatened to attack the US and Japan with said nukes, and wipe South Korea from the face of the Earth, and c) whose only redeeming quality appears to be that he doesn't have a very good delivery system for said nukes - yet? Granted, kicking is ass his way harder than kicking mine, but he does appear a somewhat bigger threat as well, what with the nukes and a 1.2-million active-duty army (that's for a country with 24 million people - think about it).

10 years ago we (the US) invaded a country ruled by a dictator who was alleged to have weapons of mass destruction. Despite all the effort the weapons of mass destruction were not found, and I - despite not being a supporter of said war - remember thinking for a moment, in a rather cynical way, that it might be better to kick the guy's ass before he has the weapons of mass destruction and not after. And now there is a guy who actually has weapons of mass destruction, and has threatened several countries with them, and nobody is doing anything.

I think the only message to be learned from here is that if you happen to be an insane dictator, your best bet is to get some nukes. Pretty soon every dictator is gonna be getting nukes. Hell, I want to have nukes of my own, and I am not ever a dictator yet. I even have a grand plan for my nukes: gonna make a lot of noise, threaten a lot of neighbors, then give the nukes up and receive the Nobel Peace Prize.

I have a bad feeling about it...

The whole North Korea thing somehow reminds me of a sci-fi novel by Vladlen Bakhnov, The Story of Ogogondia (the real name of the novel is way longer - How the Sun Went out, or the History of the Thousand-year Dictatorship of Ogogondia, which Existed 13 Years, 5 Months and 7 Days ). At some point the leaders of other countries are talking about what to do with Ogogondia, a dictatorship that became a bit aggressive:

"I suggest we drop a bomb on Ogogondia, and start a war."
"And I suggest we drop two bombs, and start peace negotiations."
"It's best to drop three bombs, and not start anything at all."

I can sort of imagine Chuck Hagel saying "Hey, let's drop two bombs, and start peace negotiations, it has worked for us before!", although I suppose it would be a bit tasteless to say that to the Japanese.

Just checked with the text (sorry, it's in Russian), and it goes on (this is the part I didn't remember):

"Gentlemen, gentlemen, don't forget: Ogogondia also has bombs.Granted, they are second-hand, but still..."
"That's true. So what do you suggest?"
"Let's send this upstart an ultimatum with a strict reprimand and a final warning."

All Hail the Mighty North Korea!

As we all know, North Korea has just launched a satellite (strictly for peaceful purposes, of course) over Japan.

According to the North Koreans, the satellite is now safely in the orbit, where it is happily singing "the immortal revolutionary paeans "Song of General Kim Il Sung" and "Song of General Kim Jong Il"". According to everyone else the damn thing just fell into the ocean.

The great achievements of the people of North Korea are not limited to singing satellites. They have also invented the time machine. According to the Korean Central News Agency, "the Secretariat of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union released a statement on March 31, in which it expressed deep apprehension over the reckless moves being made by the United States and its followers to hinder the launch of the experimental communications satellite "Kwangmyongsong-2" by the DPRK".

Now that is really an accomplishment unrivaled in the Western world! Considering that the Soviet Union, along with the communist party thereof and its central committee, has been disbanded in 1991, visiting them and eliciting such a statement from them must have been the crowning achievement of the North Korean time-travel science.

For those who doubt that the site quoted above is the real Korean Central News Agency: yes, it is. One can only hope that they can use some of their mighty science to repair the buggy JavaScript, invent the concept of layout and just maybe get themselves a server that's actually within the North Korean domain. Or maybe at least get themselves a country-level domain.

Seriously, though: have they forgotten to mention to their citizens that the Soviet Union fell apart 18 years ago, and even if they did, why publish the same bullshit in English?