Relationships and the need to talk

Had a long talk with Killeri today (no, not of the "let's break up" kind). He is not much of a talker usually, at least not about the relationship, and I tend to imitate his silence, which is not very good, because some things which need saying/asking/discussing are left unsaid.

I won't go into all the details, because most of them are both private and boring, and the only people who can listen to them are ourselves, and maybe Anu after 2 bottles of Paul Remy Brut. But, in short: we are both people who need a lot of private space and time. We have always known there is a quantitative difference in our need for privacy; today, we discovered and discussed the qualitative difference.

I'll mention only 2 things we discussed. There were a lot more, but you'll die of boredom.

1. Since Killeri needs more private time, I never feel like he is infringing on mine. The only exception to it was our trip to Boston last fall, when he was with me all the time and I told him a couple of times "don't you want to go explore the city on your own a bit?" and he refused. I didn't insist then, figuring that I am a local of sorts, he is a guest, so if he wants to be shown around I better grin and bear it. Now it turned out he was just trying to be nice to me, thinking that I don't want him to go. We had a big laugh over this one and decided to remember it the next time we are in Boston or somewhere else abroad.

2. Killeri lives with roommates, or rather one roommate at the moment. I do not live with roommates and don't particularly care to, and did not like it when I did even though I had one really great roommate. His roommate is Kristiina, who is also a friend of mine. I have always been very shy about going over there to see Kristiina, because I didn't think it proper that a man comes home without expecting any nasty surprises and suddenly runs into his girlfriend who is visiting his roommate. I just assumed it because I know that if roles were reversed it would bother me. Turns out it does not bother him at all and I was fretting for nothing.

These things are good to talk about. Really. Should've talked about them long ago.