Monday, April 26, 2004

Bad guys need battle cries too

Rampaging across the tarmac, clutching a studded crowbar, cometh Osama Bin Laden! And he gives a mighty bellow:

"Vengeance and goo flow from my veins! I destroy all in my path with God on my side!!"

Lo! Who is that, rampaging across the mountains! It is Saddam Hussein, hands clutching an oversized scalpel! And with a low roar, his voice cometh:

"I'm going to fuck you past the point of no return!!"

Hark! Who is that, sprinting on the terrain! It is Kim Jong Il, hands clutching a studded crowbar! He grunts ominously:

"I'm going to brutalize you backwards in time, and dip you in uranium!"

Who is that, skulking across the candy store! It is Alexander Lukashenka, hands clutching a jeweled meat hammer! He cries mightily:

"By Odin's mighty spear, I sow darkness and discord like the world's mightiest bad-ass!"

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