Something is wrong in the Promised Land...

Israel's president Moshe Katsav decided not to attend the Knesset winter session opening ceremony due to numerous allegations of rape and sexual harassment aginst him. Hear those metal sounds, feel that wind? That's the 120 members of the Knesset taking their chastity belts off and sighing in relief.

See, people, that's where it leads when you have a figurehead president: he has enough time on his hands to try to fuck anything that moves, and not enough power to attract any volunteers. If Israelis had a real president he'd probably only accept blow jobs from willing young interns and would still have enough power left to redefine them as non-sex.

Israel's president is supposed to perform important moral and educational functions. I am sure "avoid being alone in a room with the president" is in fact a thing that the people around him need to be educated about. Israel's previous shining moral beacon, Ezer Weizman, resigned amid allegation of taking bribes.

How come the man is so frisky at 61 anyway? I am afraid manufacturers of Viagra have a lot to answer for.

Regardless of Katsav and his moral standing: why do so many countries have figurehead presidents? I mean, what's the point? At least figurehead royalty has some glamour about it, but what is the point of a figurehead president? Nobody even remembers who they are until they rape somebody. Hey, anyone here remember who is the president of Germany? Without looking it up on the Net?