You know you are dealing with a man of conviction when...

...he is ready to wipe his ass with a metal hook.

Imam Abu Hamza Al-Masri believes in Allah, improvised explosive devices and killing the kuffar. His beliefs have not served him well - he lost both hands and one eye in some combination of the above, and he is currently serving 7 years in the UK for inciting murder and a number of lesser charges, the US is asking for his extradition on terrorism charges when he is done, and Yemen is third in line.

Anyway, now he realized that the nurse who has been taking care of him in prison for the last two years is gay. The nurse has been quite openly gay all that time, of course, but Abu Hamza is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Or the sharpest hook, as may be the case.

Abu Hamza demanded a replacement and is saying that his religious rights are being breached. He feels that it is somehow unbecoming for a guy who believes that gay people should be killed to have his ass wiped by a gay person, so now he refuses the care.

I apologize to all the innocent handless people reading this, if any, but I find the idea of Abu Hamza using his hooks to wipe his ass by himself absolutely hilarious. I'd love to see his facial expression in Youtube.

Note to the prison guards: a) I am not encouraging actual filming, even though I'd love to see it, and b) if he chooses the "wiping is for the kuffar" way out of his dilemma, please don't film the results. Eeew.