Disclaimer: this is based on the actual views expressed by Abu Izzadeen in the media, so all complaints about contents should be rightfully addressed to him. The only place where I took a lot of poetic license was the speculation about where his various body parts should end up if he blows himself up, so all the complaints of the "we don't want his feet here" kind may be addressed to me.
I'm gonna tell you all as it is:
Like all good Muslims, I am a terrorist,
If you blow things up, it's really very well,
But if you vote, you are going straight to hell.
I have changed my first name to Omar,
I strike terror in the hearts of the kuffar.
If you are trying to convert them in vain
Try instead to blow up a subway train.
Seven hundred pounds are not enough for life
That's why I need to get a second wife.
I am tall, witty, sensitive and hot
Even though my beard is a little bit too short.
One wife and three children are all I got,
With four wives and nine kids the state would pay a lot.
Or else with any luck the kuffar might get scared
And put me on a pension for the mentally impaired.
I would like to install the Sharia,
I was a spokesman for Al-Ghurabaa.
I was too dumb to be an electrician
So Allah found me and gave me a mission.
Nine-eleven bombers deserve your praise,
They have made the world a better place.
Seven-seven bombers deserve praise too -
With any luck they might have even killed a Jew.
If a Muslim joins the army, cut off his head
Or find some other way to make him dead.
Those who convert out of Islam gotta be killed -
That's how a proper Muslim state is built.
I have no allegiance to Britain whatsoever
But they have to pay me, because I am so clever,
We Muslims don't believe in the freedom of speech,
But Britain has to let a crazy schmuck like myself preach.
Someday Britain will be a Muslim state
If you don't like it, kill yourselves or go away.
But even after all you kuffar have escaped
Please remember to send us some development aid.
Only cowards can enjoy being alive.
As a true believer I would much prefer to die,
To blow up, with my head flying high in the air,
My feet on Piccadilly, hands on Trafalgar square.
To the Oxford street will fly my eyes,
And my penis will fly straight to paradise.
Seventy-two virgins will scream "woo-hoo",
Or maybe only one, but she is seventy-two.
You've taken out of context everything I say
But I would still repeat it all again.
I'm the Al Ghurabaa's brightest, Abu Izzadeen.
Shit! Police is coming! I don't want to be seen.