Social manipulation

Talked with Anu about manipulating people in social situations last week. The particular example we discussed is pretending to be shy, or at least shyer than one really is in order to put a shy person more at ease, but I am sure some other examples could be imagined.

I was surprised when Anu said that she finds such behavior objectionable, and that most other people would, too. I don't find it objectionable at all, unless there is some sinister purpose to it (like trying to put people at ease just in order to make trouble for them when they least expect).

While I don't see why people would find this objectionable, it's the kind of thing I'd never do myself: simply don't have the skill to understand whether a shy person wants me to be also shy or more outgoing, and believably pretend to be shy/outgoing in the right way.

Now I am curious to know what people think, and whether acceptance of such social manipulation is correlated in any way with unability to implement it oneself.