U.S. Army and other branches of service are having trouble recruiting new cannon fodder. Gee, who would've thought! Apparently even the most cognitively challenged candidates are figuring out that joining the army in times of war might mean getting shot at somewhere along the line.
Maybe they should use lyrics from South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut for their recruiting song:
You may get stabbed in the head, with a dagger or a sword
You may be burned to death, or skinned alive, or worse!
But when they torture you, you will not feel the need to run for,
Though you die, La Resistance lives on.
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