Sunday, January 16, 2005

A really strange encounter

Anu and I went to a pub with two friends and a number of nice new people we hadn't met before. The new people were for the most part lovely, but for the most part smoking, but considerate, which meant that they spent most of the time in the other room. One new person sat with us though, and beat all the recent records for weirdness.

Guy A, who sat with us, told me that guy B and guy C, who sat in the other room, were very interested in me sexually and talking about me, and that I should do something about it. Given that it was my understanding that B is a happily married man and C is gay, I found this idea very strange.

B came to our table a bit later, and did not show any signs of being interested. He chatted with us about this and that and went back to the smoking room. After that A asked things like "don't you fancy B?", "he is so beautiful", "all girls like him" and "he has lovely muscles". A, mind you, is also a heterosexual man. I explained to him that no, I don't fancy B even though he seems like a perfectly nice person, and, besides, B is married and just had a baby, and I have a boyfriend.

A asked me what kind of men I do fancy, and volunteered to get them for me. I reminded him that I still have a boyfriend. (Yeah, yeah, we do have an open relationship but I reckoned it was not the right moment to start explaining that.) "You don't have to have sex with them," - said A. "You can have a good time just by talking to them." I explained that I have a perfectly good time talking to average-looking and ugly guys as well, and don't need to find particularly beautiful guys for that purpose.

Than A started explaining to me how much he would be interested if I did not have a boyfriend, and how he wouldn't touch me in any way because I do. He explained it for quite a long while.

Besides that, the guy had some problem with sex. He did not like talking about sex, or about tits (they were a conversation subject at some point; luckily not mine). In fact he disliked the tit conversation so much that he kept telling us to stop talking about tits about ten minutes after that conversation was over, when we were talking about port, herring and rye bread. I guess he did not like port as a conversation topic either.

Later in the evening he disliked talking about sex so much that he exclaimed "I wish I would meet somebody with whom I could just talk about music and who wouldn't talk and think about sex all the time!" I know that none of you will believe it, but we - the rest of us, anyway - really weren't talking about sex at that point. We were talking about whether a temporary sysadmin gig in a really cool place is worth having to deal with Windows NT.

I feel somewhat bad relaying this conversation like that, but I sort of had to share it with the world. Besides, I am not relaying the private bits - only the bits that other people at the table, and, in case of the anti-sex exclamation, all other people in the room have heard, and I hope that nobody who wasn't there would recognize the guy in question. In fact, for his own sake I hope that the poor bugger doesn't remember any of this in the morning.

Yeah, and in case anybody is wondering, I wasn't exactly a shining paragon of wonderful people skills either. But that was in a more private part of the conversation, so I am not telling the details.

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