The leaders of North Korea have urged the male population to keep their hair short. They advised all men to get haircuts every fifteen days. Shit, that would mean that they would get a haircut almost as often as they get a dinner!
State-approved short hairstyles are the 'flat-top crew cut', 'middle hairstyle', 'lowhairstyle', and 'high hairstyle'. Men over 50 are allowed 7cm of hair on top of the head to cover balding. Those who are balding prematurely are allowed to run in circles, scream and shout.
Apparently the campaign has not yet come to actual forced haircuts, only to chasing the owners of unapproved haircuts with a TV camera and ridiculing them on the show called Let us Trim our Hair in Accordance with Socialist Lifestyle. The name of the show awakened so many childhood memories in me that I had to go to the toilet and throw up.
Some long-haired men captured on camera 'meanly ran away', the programme said. Duh!
The state TV said that long hair has a "negative effect" on "human intelligence development" as it consumes "a great deal of nutrition". So that's how they decided to solve the food problem! Inquiring minds want to know whether a) the campaign against long hair on women is next, b) women don't need intelligence, or c) women's hair don't need nutrition. One would also like to know the hair length of the person who came up with this amazing biological discovery. I am not asking anything about his or her intelligence development.
One cannot help but notice that Kim Jong Il has a little longer hair than he advises for his male subjects. Is this because he does not need any more intelligence, or because he is not lacking in nutrition, or because the subjects are just not allowed to have longer hair than their leader? In the latter case - run, North Korean men, run, before he decides to measure his penis!
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
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