Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Fond memories of school, again

When I was in school in Russia, we had dentist visits once a year. Finnish people talk about school dentists - I don't know whether it means that every school in Finland has its own dentist, but ours in any case were not directly affiliated with schools, they were just public (city?) dentists who booked appointments for whole schools.

The checkup were mandatory. The treatment wasn't, but nobody ever informed us about it, although I think most people knew. In any case I knew that in case of anything more serious than a small cavity I should refuse their treatment and go to some dentist with whom I have "connections".

The more serious thing came up when I was about 15. They found something that they rightly believed was a root canal. You did't do a root canal in Russia unless you either had connections or extra money to bribe the dentist. Regular city dentists did them badly, and without anaesthesia. So when they told me I had a root canal, I thanked them, told them I was going to go to my own dentist and got up.

The woman got really pissed off. She started screaming that going to my own dentist is out of question and that I should sit back down in the chair right now. I said "no" and started leaving. She grabbed my arm and tried to drag me back. I grabbed her instruments, which were on the table beside the chair, aimed them at her face, and pointed out that I am a bigger person who is holding sharp objects, and therefore it would be unwise to hold on to me - I think I even managed to say that without using any unprintable word. She let me go.

Years later my friend Tanya told me a very similar story that ended differently - she was much smaller, did not think of arming herself with dental instruments, and ended up getting a forced anaesthesia-free root canal, after which she was too traumatized to visit a dentist for the next 12 years.

Thought number one: many people like to say that violence never solves anything, but really it does in many cases.

Thought number two: what was wrong with those people, exactly? Their salary did not depend on the number of procedures they did; why did they want to force root canals on people instead of just letting people go and drinking coffee with each other?


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