This is why all the intelligent zoophiles prefer sheep:

A Russian man decided to make sweet love to a raccoon. Animal rights types usually say that poor innocent animals can't express consent or lack thereof, but this particular raccoon expressed his lack of consent quite efficiently by biting half of the man's penis off.

The raccoon choked on the penis and expired, or was killed by the man. The doctors did not manage to reattach the semidigested organ.

The Russian news sources describe the event in more detail, and feature a scan of the man's written explanation, a very amused veterinarian who was invited to the hospital to extract the penis from the raccoon, and the doctors' advice that the patient needs to have his head checked, along with whatever is left from the penis.

One detail that I really want to know: did the man try to have oral sex with the raccoon to begin with, or did the oral element happen by accident? And if he did it on purpose, did he see those teeth?

From Wikipedia: "Sexually mature raccoons often show aggressive natural behaviors such as biting during the mating season."

Life? Don't talk to me about life. And memory. And webcams.

I've been a bit tired lately, partly because my life has been very hectic, partly because I am still paying my sleep debts after a recent flu. Anyway, too tired for any hobbies except reading and occasionally seeing some friends.

Anyway, when I am somewhat stressed and tired I usually buy more memory to cheer myself up. It's cheap nowadays, too.

Problem is, I don't remember running out of memory in recent past. Looks like I don't need more than the 4G I have. Wow, I didn't think I'd live to see the day.

How is a girl supposed to cheer herself up by shopping if she doesn't need more memory and doesn't have physical space for one more hard drive in her computer? An external hard drive would be an obvious answer, but I already have two.

Which brings me to the question: can anyone recommend a webcam that works with Linux? I can find tons of them by googling, but the problem is that by the time they are mentioned on the Net in this context, they are usually out of stock in stores.

Gives a whole new dimension to table manners...

Art Price Jr. from Belleview, Ohio has been sentenced to 6 months in prison for having sex with a metal picnic table. His own table, mind you.

Part of the problem was that his home was located close to a school, which made it "disseminating harmful material to juveniles", even though it is not known if any juvenile has actually seen him in the act at any point.

The police got the tip from a person who recorded three DVDs of Price screwing the table on four separate occasions.

My first thought: damn, doesn't it hurt? He was doing it in winter, when licking a metal table outside sure would've hurt, so wouldn't sex hurt too?

My second thought: now that we know all about the villain, I wanna see the hero. Come on, man (or woman), show your face! I really wanna see what kind of person videotapes the neighbors during their tender moments with the garden furniture.

Maybe Mr. Price should move to Eastern Finland - he'd surely get in less trouble for doing it there, even with a human. On the other hand, considering how cold it gets in winter, maybe better not.

Area politics for ministers?

The National Agency for Medicines is being moved from Helsinki to Kuopio, which is a city of a bit under 100 000 people about 400 km away.

That's about 200 people who either need to leave their homes, families and friends, arrange for moving their families to Kuopio, or look for another job in Helsinki. In most Finnish families both adults work, which makes moving because of one person's work somewhat difficult.

The Minister of Social Affairs and Health Liisa Hyssälä says it's not a big deal even if all the employees in Helsinki quit. Who cares? Probably makes them all feel really valued, too.

I have a better idea: why don't we move the Ministry of Social Affairs and Health to Kuopio? Hyssälä will surely be overjoyed, at least as a Keskusta politician who supports moving big state workplaces somewhere far away, and it's not a big deal if some minister quits because of the move.

A break in blogging

Blogging will be very light for the next 2-3 weeks. The so-called Real Life is distracting me. Lots of stuff to do and very behind on my sleep.

This is kind of too bad, because there is a lot of interesting stuff to blog about right now.

Uusi Suomi and their command of English

In Uusi Suomi:

"Tanskassa 27-vuotiaan tanskalaisen uskotaan saaneen kaksi israelilaista asemiestä kimppuunsa mahdollisesti Gazan kriisin takia. Loukkaantuneen tanskalaisen vanhemmat ovat palestiinalaisia."

In the Yahoo article to which they link:

"In Denmark, a 27-year-old Dane born in Lebanon to Palestinian parents is alleged to have injured two young Israelis last week in a shooting police suspect could be linked to the Gaza crisis."

(For those who don't speak Finnish: Uusi Suomi is saying that the Israelis attacked the Lebanon-born Dane and not the other way around.)

News of the really weird

Omar Bakri Muhammed, the imam who praised 9/11 and 7/7 bombers in the UK and was subsequently encouraged to stay in Lebanon, from where he preaches through a website, has outdone himself.

He has encouraged his followers to preach Islam to aliens and spread it through the galaxy, and he said "We are obliged as Muslims to make the whole galaxy subservient to almighty Allah. Allah has created all living beings to obey him and worship him."

Oh dear... I don't know what the man is smoking, but I sure don't want any of it. On the other hand, if we could send him and his followers to the moon to preach to whatever aliens they might find out there, it might be well worth the price tag.

One could think that a guy who has an arrest warrant issued on him by Lebanese security forces would have more immediate things to worry about than conversion of aliens all over the galaxy.

A note for the really weird: if you have been persecuted for Islamic extremism in Saudi Arabia, kicked out of the UK for supporting terrorism, are being wanted by Hezbollah for terrorist activities, and you are still concerned with converting E.T. and Chewbacca to Islam, maybe you need to take a long hard look at your life, check whether the tobacco you are smoking is in fact tobacco, and schedule an appointment with your friendly local psychiatrist.