How not to spend a night (probably a bit of overshare)

22:30 Oh, god, how come I am so drunk? Especially since had only 4 glasses of wine spread over three hours. The wine must've gone bad. Or maybe should have had something to eat before that.

Everyone else is moving from the park to a bar. Maybe should go home instead and get a proper night of sleep. Gotta piss first, though.

Marja calls me while in the toilet. I answer guiltily, imagining a huge line outside. She and Hannu want to pick up the table I promised them and ask if 8:00 in the morning is OK. It's OK. Can't imagine Marja herself being awake at that hour. She must be drunk too.

00:30 Falling asleep. Still drunk. Big mistake. Should never fall asleep while drunk, always wait for the hangover.


04:00 Argh! Argh! Horrible, horrible nightmare! Woke up.

Am never drinking anything again. Or at least never going to bed before sobering up. Bad. Bad.

Need a cup of juice (pomegranate juice is very good for hangover), a slice of sausage and some cherries.

Hmm. Horny. Very horny. Maybe should masturbate a little,

05:20 Argh! Can't spend all night wanking, because Marja and Hannu are coming at 8 and I have to work in the morning. One more time, though...

Hmmm. Maybe should check email and Google News and say hi to whoever is awake in IRC.

Whee! Coffee protects liver from alcohol damage! Having 4 cups of coffee a day reduces the risk of alcohol-related liver damage by 80%! I have nothing to worry about!

Ugh. Remembered I don't drink coffee. Maybe should start now.

Eew. The prospect of drinking 4 cups of coffee a day is a lot more terrifying than the prospect of reducing alcohol consumption. Maybe should get back to bed and try sleeping.

Neighbors are strangely quiet. Haven't heard a sound from there since early Saturday morning. Maybe I was wrong and they did kill each other and now there is a decomposing dead body behind that wall? Wonder if it will start smelling before I move out of here?

06:00 Should really stop wanking and go to sleep now.

06:45 Peep! Peep! An SMS from Hannu asking if it's OK for them to come at 8:30 instead of 8:00. Couldn't they find a better time to ask? Grr!

Back to sleep!

07:00 Kaboom! Explosion. It's not Islamic terrorists, it's not Tamil Tigers, it's not Maoist guerillas. It's the fuckers who are building a tunnel from our yard to Kamppi terminal.

07:30 Drrrrrr! Drrrrrr! Now they are drilling something.

08:15 Bzzzt! Marja and Hannu. I open one eye and one door and look at them blearily. They take the table, thank me and go, advising me to go back to bed. I go back to bed, wondering whether Marja awake at eight is reality or nightmare, and if nightmare, then is it my nightmare or hers?

Back to sleep.

08:15 Bzzzt! Alarm clock. Forgot all about it.

09:40 The world is bad but I just might make the 10:05 bus to work.