Die, neighbors, die!

Why can't my neighbors finally kill each other, as opposed to waking me up with totally unproductive knifefights at 4 in the morning?

Was awakened at 4 by blood-curdling screams, demands to put the knife away and the sounds of furniture breaking and a body falling. Considered calling the police, but then the fallen body unfortunately got up and started bitching at one of the other participants for using the knife.

This post probably cannot be considered as urging neighbors to commit crime as they surely cannot read.