Monday, April 28, 2008

So that's where the spammers' penises come from!

It's funny how some countries just have the worst of luck. In addition to all the other plagues of its recent and current history, such as Belgians, two very bloody civil wars, the life expectancy of 51.46 years, corruption, etc., nowadays Congo (that's the Democratic Republic of the Congo, as opposed to the Undemocratic Republic of the Congo) is also plagued by penis thieves.

That's the sorcerers who use black magic to steal penises. The article didn't say what they are supposed to do with the penises afterwards, but I think that now we know where all the nice people who send me email offering to increase the size of my penis get their penis extensions from.

One would think that all the men of average intelligence, or even most men a few standard deviations on the left side of the Bell curve, could find out whether or not their penises has been stolen by simple empirical observation with a naked eye (ok, a few would need mirrors and a few would need magnifying glasses, but still...). The rest of them filed complaints with the police.

Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, had to order the arrest of the 13 accused in order to prevent mob lynchings. The police also detained 14 of the victims, probably because people that stupid should not be allowed to roam free.

Being Kinshasa's police chief gotta be the second worst job in the world. (The first worst job in the world is probably being Hamas's image consultant.) The man, however, seems to have retained a sense of humor:

"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.

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