Thursday, August 30, 2012

Prometheus (major spoilers)

Saw Prometheus yesterday. Oh dear...

It's not that I regret seeing it, or that it was boring. In that way, it was OK. But it was facepalm all the way. I mean the concentration of morons not only outdid all major US and Finnish parties and their conventions, it outdid Suomen Työväenpuolue STP, and they have more candidates than brain cells.

Must admire the spirit of the protagonist though. After finding the aliens who created humans and then decided to kill them all with a horrible biological weapon, losing her colleague and boyfriend (one person) to contamination, being impregnated by the alien and betrayed by her crew, performing a caesarean abortion on  herself with a help of a fancy gadget without even taking her underwear off (was there ever a woman anywhere who had an abortion with her panties on?), and finding out that one of the aliens is still alive, she is still quite in the spirit of scientific discovery. I would probably be more in the spirit of killing the damn alien and nuking the whole installation from the orbit. Of course maybe that's why she is a two-for-one archaeologist and biologist, and I washed out of scientific discovery 15 years ago, and nowadays write Android apps for a living with no chance of ever going to a planet with evil aliens.Notes to self:

- If I go to another star system to meet the aliens who have created us, it might not turn out to be all about hugs and puppies,
- Taking my helmet off on another planet might not be a bright idea, even if the gas concentrations are OK,
- If I am a very old person trying to get a key to immortality from the aliens, telling my robot to bring random stuff to my spaceship and infect random people with it might not be the best survival strategy,
- Little worms crawling out of my eyeballs might indicate a serious health problem. Maybe even a contagious one.
- Waking up a hostile powerful being after all its coworkers died trying to develop weapons to wipe out the humankind? Might not be a good idea.
- In a scary situation running away from my party and getting lost is a bad idea. If I happen to be the person who has mapped the area in first place, and still in direct video contact with the ship that has that map, it also takes a bit of effort.
- If I have to watch my coworkers from the aforementioned ship, I should not abandon my post for the sake of a sexual intercourse. Not even if the guy is really cute, and the coworkers being watched relly aren't.
- If I am a biologist, and even if I am not, I probably shouldn't try to pet an alien creature that looks like a pissed-off cobra.


Dialog

A rabbi got beaten the other day in Berlin. He was just walking in the broad daylight with his 6-years+old daughter, and 4 men of Arab descent attacked them. It's kind of hard to fight 2 against 4, especially is one of the 2 is only 6 years old.

"Reminds me of my grandmother's story of how she was 6 and some Polish officers were torturing her brother right in front of her and how she was ashamed at not quite having the firepower to kill them."

"He teaches religious studies at a Jewish school and has pushed for years for dialogue with Christians and Muslims," said Levi Salomon, the spokesman for the Jewish forum for democracy and against anti-Semitism.. Well, it looks like he got some of his dialog. Or monologue, anyway.


Saturday, August 18, 2012

Lovely Thursday

8:30: Alarm clock. Blaah!

8:31: What is this horrible stench?

8:32: Surely could not have farted like that? Human farts don't usually smell of burned rubber, even if one drank a really weird beer last night.

8:33: Did the coffee factory nearby accidentally roast rubber instead of coffee?

8:34: OMG! Something is on fire!

8:35: Whatever it is, it's not inside my apartment or within my field of vision when I stick my head out of the window. Maybe should have a cup of tea and a shower.

10:30: At work. Reading emails. Turns out the smokers in the staircase B managed to set fire to the balcony. The fire was put out by the personal effort of Eeva from the board of our asunto-osakeyhtiö, and now Eeva is calling a board meeting to decide on summary executions... I mean, banning smoking on staircase balconies. Yay! I was totally for the ban from my day one in the board, and that was 5 years ago.

10:40: Bugger. One of the backend interfaces doesn't work and I have no idea what's wrong with it.

10:50: The evil coffee machine from yesterday is still there.

13:30: Gotta go to the customer's office. On the way there managed to express some social paranoia to the coworker. I don't think that the conversation is much enjoyed by either party but I feel better. Should've done this 6 months ago, I suppose.

14:00: The customer appears to actually like the application. I am still bothered by the non-working interface.

15:00: Back to the office. The coffee machine is still evil. The interface too. Give up on the interface, do some other work that needs to be done.

17:30: The interface did not work because of a typo in the namespace. Now I really feel silly.

18:00: Argh, argh, it's so late and I have stuff to be done before 9!

19:15: At home with the car (the car is actually outside, not in the apartment). Realizing that the monitor that I was gonna take to sortti-asema arose from the dead.

19:30: Gotta get to Anu's and Wouter's place. Kinda out of gas, though. Where is the gas station, where?

19:55: Fuck. You can't drive through Tapiola center anymore. Gotta find an alternate route.

20:15: Where the hell am I? Where? This is Tapiola's other, mysterious dimension.

20:20: They are throwing out WHAT? My car needs another dimension to fit all that in. Good thing the monitor arose from the dead and is not in the car.

20:25: Managed to fit the monster table in.

20:29: The last chair doesn't fit in in any dimension.

20:30: Violent disassembly of the chair. Violence is a solution to many problems.

20:40: Finally found a gas station. Hurrah!

20:45: No way we are gonna make it from Tapiola to Konala in 15 minutes.

20:55: Made it with the whole 5 minutes to spare.

21:00: But where does the paint go?

21:05: Hurrah! Made it out of the sortti-asema, and the monster table is gone.

21:06: Oh no we didn't. What's this gate and why is it closed?

21:07: AAARRGGHHH! Gonna spend all the night in the wilderness of Konala without any dinner!

21:08: Found a guy to open the gate.

22:00: On my street. Now where is hell is a parking space?

22:20: Here we go.

22:21: Does it always have to start raining as soon as I get out of the car?

22:22: IRC, a glass of vinho verde, a cup of tea and the remains of a snail risotto improve the mood substantially. The car is safely parked and has gas in it, the interface works, the customer seems pleased, the monitor seems alive, my friends are rid of the monster table, we are finally gonna ban smoking on staircase balconies, and tomorrow is another day. (A much better one, as it turned out.)