Thursday, August 30, 2012

Prometheus (major spoilers)

Saw Prometheus yesterday. Oh dear...

It's not that I regret seeing it, or that it was boring. In that way, it was OK. But it was facepalm all the way. I mean the concentration of morons not only outdid all major US and Finnish parties and their conventions, it outdid Suomen Työväenpuolue STP, and they have more candidates than brain cells.

Must admire the spirit of the protagonist though. After finding the aliens who created humans and then decided to kill them all with a horrible biological weapon, losing her colleague and boyfriend (one person) to contamination, being impregnated by the alien and betrayed by her crew, performing a caesarean abortion on  herself with a help of a fancy gadget without even taking her underwear off (was there ever a woman anywhere who had an abortion with her panties on?), and finding out that one of the aliens is still alive, she is still quite in the spirit of scientific discovery. I would probably be more in the spirit of killing the damn alien and nuking the whole installation from the orbit. Of course maybe that's why she is a two-for-one archaeologist and biologist, and I washed out of scientific discovery 15 years ago, and nowadays write Android apps for a living with no chance of ever going to a planet with evil aliens.Notes to self:

- If I go to another star system to meet the aliens who have created us, it might not turn out to be all about hugs and puppies,
- Taking my helmet off on another planet might not be a bright idea, even if the gas concentrations are OK,
- If I am a very old person trying to get a key to immortality from the aliens, telling my robot to bring random stuff to my spaceship and infect random people with it might not be the best survival strategy,
- Little worms crawling out of my eyeballs might indicate a serious health problem. Maybe even a contagious one.
- Waking up a hostile powerful being after all its coworkers died trying to develop weapons to wipe out the humankind? Might not be a good idea.
- In a scary situation running away from my party and getting lost is a bad idea. If I happen to be the person who has mapped the area in first place, and still in direct video contact with the ship that has that map, it also takes a bit of effort.
- If I have to watch my coworkers from the aforementioned ship, I should not abandon my post for the sake of a sexual intercourse. Not even if the guy is really cute, and the coworkers being watched relly aren't.
- If I am a biologist, and even if I am not, I probably shouldn't try to pet an alien creature that looks like a pissed-off cobra.

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