Drinking outside and ATMs.

Spent last night drinking outside with Anu. Had a couple of beers. Good thing that Benka is probably not reading this, she disapproves of beer even more that she disapproves of other forms of alcohol. Don't know why. She says that beer has a lot more calories than everything else, but that is not really the case. She has never let any facts get in the way of chewing me out when she feels like it.

Had a few drops of honey in my beer, after which Anu informed me that usually people put it (honey, not beer) into their tea. Never heard about it before, but then I realized that I don't know what people usually do with honey at all. A police car drove by and they stared at my little bottle of honey suspiciously. Probably wondered how come a crazy woman is drinking tea instead of beer on a hot summer day.

At some point two drunk ATMs (men of low sexual market value) came up to us. One was British, the other one apparently Finnish. The British one sat next to me, way closer than even friends usually sit to each other, leaned even closer towards me, and the Finnish one stood next to us, and they immediately tried to cut into our conversation, which was not easy for either party considering that we were speaking Finnish and they English.

"I don't think we need any company," - I said.
"But you have huge tits," - responded the Finnish guy, although it was unclear to me how it related to our need for company or lack thereof. He, like most of such people, sounded like he was offering me a bit of useful information that I wouldn't have gotten otherwise.
"And you have a small dick," - followed my automatic answer, which the guy took in like it was also meant as useful information.

At that point Anu exploded with the elation of a zoologist who has finally heard some rare frog produce the "kraah" sound it was supposed to produce. Waving her hands in the manner of small but powerful helicopter she started telling me that she'd always listened to my stories of the guys who come up to me and inform me that I have big tits, but had never actually seen one before. She was positively delighted with this anthropological phenomenon. In the meanwhile the British guy, who was still sitting right behind me, was also describing my breasts and making uneducated guesses about my vagina. Was kind of hard to tell him to bugger off while simultaneously discussing with Anu whether we should take a picture of the anthropological phenomenon.

Suddenly I felt the British guy's hand going under my arm from behind and trying to grab my breast. I turned to him while growling "irrrrti, saaaaatana!" in a tone of voice similar to the one that Killeri uses on Jero when Jero tries to eat his guests, but a whole lot louder. The Brit immediately acquired a sufficient working knowledge of Finnish, jerked his hand away, and the whole anthropological phenomenon quickly buggered off, complaining about violent women in English to each other. I still managed to take a picture, but only from behind.