Abu Hamza just got a life sentence. In honor of this I decided to repost my own poem from 7 years ago. Turned out to be kind of prophetic.
I am Abu Hamza, a Muslim cleric
I used to preach in Finsbury Park mosque,
My sermons were a little bit barbaric
But I delivered them with mighty force.
I'm all for the equality of sexes
And polyandry I don't mind a bit.
I married one of my bigamic exes
So I could get a residence permit.
When I was young I used to be a bouncer,
But they decided that I was too dumb,
And it's more fun to be a doom announcer
So I became a radical imam.
Osama is my most-admired hero,
I tried to give a hand to Taleban,
I lost both hands and eye, but kept my beard,
And all the body parts that make a man.
In Britain I became a famous preacher,
My name is always mentioned in the news,
In my sermons the most important feature
Is killing of the kuffar and the Jews.
A Jew-free world would be a great improvement,
Behind all evil there is some Jew.
They also guide the planetary movement
And nowadays my bowel movements, too.
Please kill the unbelievers when you see them,
With bombs, or guns, or poison or a word,
For any reason or without a reason,
The unbelievers should be put to sword.
But then came the police, and then they told me
That murder is a thing I shouldn't preach.
How dare those kuffar to try to scold me?
I want respect for my freedom of speech.
The court convicted me of the incitement
As poor man, I never stood a chance,
I could not fight this horrible indictment
Though state gave million pounds for my defense.
And now the state has noticed I'm not poor
And is demanding back the million quid,
They froze my jail allowance to be sure,
And found some of the money that I hid.
My life is full of misery and anguish,
I'm serving seven years in Belmarsh,
In British prison I don't want to languish,
The kuffar justice is unduly harsh.
Americans want Brits to extradite me,
They'll put me in the Supermax for life.
One thought that really does not delight me:
I might become the Unabomber's wife.
I used to think that I was very clever
And lead my students to the life of crime,
But now I'll have to stay with them forever
And hear their bullshit all the time.
Americans! I really hope you will
Show mercy to a person whom you hate:
It sure is unusual and cruel
To put one in a cell with Richard Reid.
But in the meanwhile in the British prison
I realized that my nurse is a poof.
They surely had some ungodly reason
To let a guy like that under this roof.
He probably gets totally excited
Each time he wipes my handsome manly ass,
And as a Muslim I should be entitled
To have him fired or at least harassed.
Gay people are a vile abomination
But even though I spit and scream and curse
In this atrocious godless kuffar nation
They won't assign to me another nurse.
At least I can refuse the nursing service
And try to wipe my anus on my own.
Oh shit, my hooks are stuck, I'm getting nervous!
Oh God! Wrong move! Right hook stuck in the bone!
It is too late, but better late then never -
Oh dear Lord, my ass is ripped to shred -
Allah, please do me an enormous favor:
Insert some common sense into my head.
Showing posts with label crazy imams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crazy imams. Show all posts
Saturday, January 10, 2015
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Please, Darwin, where are you
He was born in Syria. By the age of 19 he was wanted there for Islamic extremism, moved to Lebanon, then to Egypt, and then to Saudi Arabia, where by some amazing coincidence he was also persecuted for Islamic extremism.
After having been arrested by Saudi police twice, he figured Saudi Arabia was insufficiently friendly to radical Islam, and moved to the UK.
As an aside: who let the fucker in? We are not talking about an honest worker from a Muslim country whose children became radicalized to his and his new country's dismay; we are talking about a grown man whose whole career so far had been in the field of Islamic extremism. Yeah, he was persecuted. So. The current refugee system was built in response the Nazi atrocities during WWII and the Communist atrocities right afterwards. Should we have admitted the people who were persecuted by Hitler for being too much of a Nazi? OTOH, maybe I don't wanna hear the answer to this.
Anyway, the man lived in the UK for 19 years, preaching killing Brits on taxpayer's money. That is, he was preaching on taxpayer's money. Killing could be done on any money as long as it wasn't his.
The man organized extremist organizations and held numerous live and Internet lectures on how great it is to die for Islam, although apparently he was in no hurry to do so himself.
Right after the London bomb attack, and right before them, he preached a bit too much, and the authorities started talking about charging him. He quickly went to lebanon, saying that he has not fled, and he is definitely coming back unless Britain says it doesn't want him. "We don't want you," said the Home Secretary, and the man had to stay in Lebanon.
A more sensible man would have figured his luck has turned to the worse, and kept a lower profile. But he decided to preach some more terrorism, for which he was promptly arrested but later released.
The next summer the Israel-Lebanon war started, and the man asked the UK to take him back, but even the UK is not that daft. They didn't take him back, and he continued his good work in Lebanon.
A couple of weeks ago he was tried for terrorism in a Lebanese court and sentenced to life in prison in absentia. He said that going to court is against his religion. "No problem," -said the police and came and got him.
I hope Omar Bakri Mohammed enjoys his stay in a Lebanese prison. I know the middle eastern justice and prisons are a bit unreliable, but that's ok: if he ever gets out he is gonna get himself in trouble again for sure.
And to think that the man could have had a comfortable retirement from age 28 on British taxpayers' money, raised his 6 children in peace, had cable TV and some middle eastern pastries and access to London's best museums for the rest of his life... I wonder whether he still thinks all the terrorist activity was worth it.
After having been arrested by Saudi police twice, he figured Saudi Arabia was insufficiently friendly to radical Islam, and moved to the UK.
As an aside: who let the fucker in? We are not talking about an honest worker from a Muslim country whose children became radicalized to his and his new country's dismay; we are talking about a grown man whose whole career so far had been in the field of Islamic extremism. Yeah, he was persecuted. So. The current refugee system was built in response the Nazi atrocities during WWII and the Communist atrocities right afterwards. Should we have admitted the people who were persecuted by Hitler for being too much of a Nazi? OTOH, maybe I don't wanna hear the answer to this.
Anyway, the man lived in the UK for 19 years, preaching killing Brits on taxpayer's money. That is, he was preaching on taxpayer's money. Killing could be done on any money as long as it wasn't his.
The man organized extremist organizations and held numerous live and Internet lectures on how great it is to die for Islam, although apparently he was in no hurry to do so himself.
Right after the London bomb attack, and right before them, he preached a bit too much, and the authorities started talking about charging him. He quickly went to lebanon, saying that he has not fled, and he is definitely coming back unless Britain says it doesn't want him. "We don't want you," said the Home Secretary, and the man had to stay in Lebanon.
A more sensible man would have figured his luck has turned to the worse, and kept a lower profile. But he decided to preach some more terrorism, for which he was promptly arrested but later released.
The next summer the Israel-Lebanon war started, and the man asked the UK to take him back, but even the UK is not that daft. They didn't take him back, and he continued his good work in Lebanon.
A couple of weeks ago he was tried for terrorism in a Lebanese court and sentenced to life in prison in absentia. He said that going to court is against his religion. "No problem," -said the police and came and got him.
I hope Omar Bakri Mohammed enjoys his stay in a Lebanese prison. I know the middle eastern justice and prisons are a bit unreliable, but that's ok: if he ever gets out he is gonna get himself in trouble again for sure.
And to think that the man could have had a comfortable retirement from age 28 on British taxpayers' money, raised his 6 children in peace, had cable TV and some middle eastern pastries and access to London's best museums for the rest of his life... I wonder whether he still thinks all the terrorist activity was worth it.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Boobquake!
Iranian cleric (Friday prayer leader for the city of Tehran, says Wikipedia) Kazem Sedighi said that immodestly dressed women cause earthquakes.
This does make one wonder why Iran has so many earthquakes - could it be that the Lord's opinion on what is modest and what is not differs quite a lot from that of Iran's leadership? Makes one wonder about Kazem Sedighi's sanity and the recreational pharmaceuticals he uses, too.
Anyway: tomorrow is the day when thousands of women across the world, myself included, will try to prove him wrong by wearing immodest shirts. As of now, the event has 165497 confirmed participants on Facebook.
Imagine our surprise though if the big one hits Iran tomorrow...
This does make one wonder why Iran has so many earthquakes - could it be that the Lord's opinion on what is modest and what is not differs quite a lot from that of Iran's leadership? Makes one wonder about Kazem Sedighi's sanity and the recreational pharmaceuticals he uses, too.
Anyway: tomorrow is the day when thousands of women across the world, myself included, will try to prove him wrong by wearing immodest shirts. As of now, the event has 165497 confirmed participants on Facebook.
Imagine our surprise though if the big one hits Iran tomorrow...
Monday, May 11, 2009
Breaking news: pigs evolved from Jews
A new fatwa published in Egypt determines that the source of all pigs is Jews, and therefore it is permissible to slaughter all the pigs, and eating them is forbidden.
Does this mean that eating Jews is forbidden too? Nice to know.
Sheikh Ali Osman from the Egyptian Waqf ministry, who has issued this fatwa, says that he is still waiting for response from the Al-Azhar fatwa committee. The Al-Azhar fatwa committee is apparently still looking for a Jewish psychiatrist to introduce to Sheikh Ali Osman.
Does this mean that eating Jews is forbidden too? Nice to know.
Sheikh Ali Osman from the Egyptian Waqf ministry, who has issued this fatwa, says that he is still waiting for response from the Al-Azhar fatwa committee. The Al-Azhar fatwa committee is apparently still looking for a Jewish psychiatrist to introduce to Sheikh Ali Osman.
Monday, April 13, 2009
You know that there is something wrong in your kingdom...
...when Yemen is progressive in comparison to you.
Last year an 8-year-old girl was granted a divorce in Yemen after her father sold her to a 30-year-old man. Emboldened by such an example, a couple of other girls, aged 9 and 10, got a divorce. The government then tried to do something to prevent such marriages from happening. Where they have been successful or not, I have no idea, but at least they tried and maybe scared a person or two into waiting till their daughter is 12.
In Saudi Arabia, they aren't even trying.
Saudi judge Habib al-Habib has refused for a second time to annul a marriage between an 8-year-old girl and a 47-year-old man, on account of the girl being too young to represent herself in court, and her mother being a non-custodial parent and therefore ineligible to represent her in court. The father, who is the custodial parent, was the guy who arranged her marriage to the 47-year-old man to settle his debts ($8000, says Al-Arabiya), and therefore, I assume, does not wish to represent her in court.
The judge, who obviously thinks that an 8-year-old is not old enough to tell the court what she wants, nevertheless thinks that she is old enough to be married to somebody 39 years her senior, without her consent (by which I not only mean that she is too young to consent, but also that she is clearly not interested).
On the brighter side, the judge did make the man promise not to have sex with the girl until she reaches puberty, and also did tell the girl that she may apply for divorce upon reaching puberty.
The church, I mean mosque, has added its spiritual word:
"It is incorrect to say that it's not permitted to marry off girls who are 15 and younger. A girl aged 10 or 12 can be married. Those who think she's too young are wrong and they are being unfair to her," said the kingdom's grand mufti. For a second there I thought our old friend Khodr Chehab got a part-time in Saudi Arabia, but then I read that the man's name was Sheikh Abdul Aziz Al-Sheikh - may all his 72 heavenly virgins be virgin male elephants.
Being a law-abiding person, I wouldn't even think of connecting any religion's institutions with child molestation, but I suspect that being the grand mufti of Saudi Arabia does connect one to some religion's institutions, in a way. Oh well, at least he did not say it with the intent to cause offense.
Last year an 8-year-old girl was granted a divorce in Yemen after her father sold her to a 30-year-old man. Emboldened by such an example, a couple of other girls, aged 9 and 10, got a divorce. The government then tried to do something to prevent such marriages from happening. Where they have been successful or not, I have no idea, but at least they tried and maybe scared a person or two into waiting till their daughter is 12.
In Saudi Arabia, they aren't even trying.
Saudi judge Habib al-Habib has refused for a second time to annul a marriage between an 8-year-old girl and a 47-year-old man, on account of the girl being too young to represent herself in court, and her mother being a non-custodial parent and therefore ineligible to represent her in court. The father, who is the custodial parent, was the guy who arranged her marriage to the 47-year-old man to settle his debts ($8000, says Al-Arabiya), and therefore, I assume, does not wish to represent her in court.
The judge, who obviously thinks that an 8-year-old is not old enough to tell the court what she wants, nevertheless thinks that she is old enough to be married to somebody 39 years her senior, without her consent (by which I not only mean that she is too young to consent, but also that she is clearly not interested).
On the brighter side, the judge did make the man promise not to have sex with the girl until she reaches puberty, and also did tell the girl that she may apply for divorce upon reaching puberty.
The church, I mean mosque, has added its spiritual word:
"It is incorrect to say that it's not permitted to marry off girls who are 15 and younger. A girl aged 10 or 12 can be married. Those who think she's too young are wrong and they are being unfair to her," said the kingdom's grand mufti. For a second there I thought our old friend Khodr Chehab got a part-time in Saudi Arabia, but then I read that the man's name was Sheikh Abdul Aziz Al-Sheikh - may all his 72 heavenly virgins be virgin male elephants.
Being a law-abiding person, I wouldn't even think of connecting any religion's institutions with child molestation, but I suspect that being the grand mufti of Saudi Arabia does connect one to some religion's institutions, in a way. Oh well, at least he did not say it with the intent to cause offense.
Sunday, April 05, 2009
"If they can bleed, they can breed"
A few days ago Khodr Chehab, the imam of the Finnish Islamic Society, said that he has officiated at the wedding of a 14-year-old girl and 20-year-old man in 1996, and that the Ministry of Justice has given its permission for the marriage. The Ministry of Justice has no record of such permission.
Khodr Chehab insisted that he obeys all the Finnish laws, and that's really very nice to know (I am saying this without any sarcasm). However, he says, 13 years is a good age for marriage. "It is legal to go to bed here at that age - it's better to get married" - he says. He thinks it would be quite fine to get married even at 11, if the law permits it.
He says he doesn't understand the difference between starting dating and getting married.
Oh, dear... The man is 46 - one would think that by that age a person would figure out the difference between starting dating and getting married, even if he or she has never done either. Especially a member of clergy - I've heard some people go to them for marital advice, although I am not sure it's a good idea.
IIRC even at 13 most people do have some kind of a vague idea that there is more to marriage than sex and that fuzzy feeling that you get after someone you like turns out to like you, and you start dating.
For the differently-intelligent (or maybe just overly horny) folks among imams and commenters: forget about pedophilia for a second, enough has been said about it during these few days. Think about marriage. It's a legal contract that involves a lot of obligations, some degree of commitment, in most cases a common home, in quite a lot of cases children and in general building a life together.
A 13-year-old is not ready for this. Not even if there are no icky pedophilia issues involved (for example both parties are 13) and not even if the kids are mature enough to handle sex and birth control.
Seriously, if you cannot see the difference between a 13-year-old having sex with a classmate and then going home, where her parents take care of her, provide for her, yell at her for having sex and/or teach her about birth control and interfere on her behalf if the other party in the relationship becomes too controlling, and a 13-year-old making a lifetime (though terminable) legal commitment to another 13-year old and starting living together with him - well, at least you shouldn't be advising anyone on marital or sexual affairs.
Khodr Chehab also said that there is no sexual abuse of the underage in the Islamic world. To this I can only quote Nojoud Muhammed Nasser: "Whenever I wanted to play in the yard he beat me and asked me to go to the bedroom with him. This lasted for two months." Nojoud was divorced at the age of 8 from a 30-year-old man, in Yemen in June 2008. As soon as she was divorced another Yemeni girl, aged 9, also filed for divorce.
The really amazing thing about Chehab's statements is not that he thinks what he thinks - whoever hasn't ever wished for some illegal thing to become legal may throw the first stone - but the fact that he says it in a public interview without, apparently, having any idea that this kind of statement would cause an uproar in Finland. In spite of having lived here for about 20 years.
The next day the imam said that he remembered wrong: the girl wasn't 14, but 16, and it didn't happen in 1996, but in 1992. He also showed us all the true miracles of integration: it took him only one day to become unsure that getting married is such a good idea for somebody under 14.
Later on the same day he was unsure whether the wedding in question took place in 1992 or in 1993, said that a 13-year-old might be ready for marriage, but some are not even ready at 16 (think of those bachelors and old maids!), and that 15 is maybe a good age, but he himself wouldn't marry somebody younger than 20, or in fact somebody younger than 30.
In only two days. Now if that's not a mircale of integration, I don't know what is!
This would all be funny if he were just a lone nutcase. He does not represent all Muslims in Finland, might not even represent the majority, but he is the imam of what is, by Finnish standards, a fairly big mosque. And I certainly don't believe his own mosque did not know about his views.
There are perfectly sensible Muslims writing perfectly sensible things about this matter - for example Husein Muhammed. The sad thing is, Khodr Chehab is the kind of guy who gets invited to the President's Independence Day's party, and Husein Muhammed AFAIK isn't.
Khodr Chehab insisted that he obeys all the Finnish laws, and that's really very nice to know (I am saying this without any sarcasm). However, he says, 13 years is a good age for marriage. "It is legal to go to bed here at that age - it's better to get married" - he says. He thinks it would be quite fine to get married even at 11, if the law permits it.
He says he doesn't understand the difference between starting dating and getting married.
Oh, dear... The man is 46 - one would think that by that age a person would figure out the difference between starting dating and getting married, even if he or she has never done either. Especially a member of clergy - I've heard some people go to them for marital advice, although I am not sure it's a good idea.
IIRC even at 13 most people do have some kind of a vague idea that there is more to marriage than sex and that fuzzy feeling that you get after someone you like turns out to like you, and you start dating.
For the differently-intelligent (or maybe just overly horny) folks among imams and commenters: forget about pedophilia for a second, enough has been said about it during these few days. Think about marriage. It's a legal contract that involves a lot of obligations, some degree of commitment, in most cases a common home, in quite a lot of cases children and in general building a life together.
A 13-year-old is not ready for this. Not even if there are no icky pedophilia issues involved (for example both parties are 13) and not even if the kids are mature enough to handle sex and birth control.
Seriously, if you cannot see the difference between a 13-year-old having sex with a classmate and then going home, where her parents take care of her, provide for her, yell at her for having sex and/or teach her about birth control and interfere on her behalf if the other party in the relationship becomes too controlling, and a 13-year-old making a lifetime (though terminable) legal commitment to another 13-year old and starting living together with him - well, at least you shouldn't be advising anyone on marital or sexual affairs.
Khodr Chehab also said that there is no sexual abuse of the underage in the Islamic world. To this I can only quote Nojoud Muhammed Nasser: "Whenever I wanted to play in the yard he beat me and asked me to go to the bedroom with him. This lasted for two months." Nojoud was divorced at the age of 8 from a 30-year-old man, in Yemen in June 2008. As soon as she was divorced another Yemeni girl, aged 9, also filed for divorce.
The really amazing thing about Chehab's statements is not that he thinks what he thinks - whoever hasn't ever wished for some illegal thing to become legal may throw the first stone - but the fact that he says it in a public interview without, apparently, having any idea that this kind of statement would cause an uproar in Finland. In spite of having lived here for about 20 years.
The next day the imam said that he remembered wrong: the girl wasn't 14, but 16, and it didn't happen in 1996, but in 1992. He also showed us all the true miracles of integration: it took him only one day to become unsure that getting married is such a good idea for somebody under 14.
Later on the same day he was unsure whether the wedding in question took place in 1992 or in 1993, said that a 13-year-old might be ready for marriage, but some are not even ready at 16 (think of those bachelors and old maids!), and that 15 is maybe a good age, but he himself wouldn't marry somebody younger than 20, or in fact somebody younger than 30.
In only two days. Now if that's not a mircale of integration, I don't know what is!
This would all be funny if he were just a lone nutcase. He does not represent all Muslims in Finland, might not even represent the majority, but he is the imam of what is, by Finnish standards, a fairly big mosque. And I certainly don't believe his own mosque did not know about his views.
There are perfectly sensible Muslims writing perfectly sensible things about this matter - for example Husein Muhammed. The sad thing is, Khodr Chehab is the kind of guy who gets invited to the President's Independence Day's party, and Husein Muhammed AFAIK isn't.
Monday, January 05, 2009
News of the really weird
Omar Bakri Muhammed, the imam who praised 9/11 and 7/7 bombers in the UK and was subsequently encouraged to stay in Lebanon, from where he preaches through a website, has outdone himself.
He has encouraged his followers to preach Islam to aliens and spread it through the galaxy, and he said "We are obliged as Muslims to make the whole galaxy subservient to almighty Allah. Allah has created all living beings to obey him and worship him."
Oh dear... I don't know what the man is smoking, but I sure don't want any of it. On the other hand, if we could send him and his followers to the moon to preach to whatever aliens they might find out there, it might be well worth the price tag.
One could think that a guy who has an arrest warrant issued on him by Lebanese security forces would have more immediate things to worry about than conversion of aliens all over the galaxy.
A note for the really weird: if you have been persecuted for Islamic extremism in Saudi Arabia, kicked out of the UK for supporting terrorism, are being wanted by Hezbollah for terrorist activities, and you are still concerned with converting E.T. and Chewbacca to Islam, maybe you need to take a long hard look at your life, check whether the tobacco you are smoking is in fact tobacco, and schedule an appointment with your friendly local psychiatrist.
He has encouraged his followers to preach Islam to aliens and spread it through the galaxy, and he said "We are obliged as Muslims to make the whole galaxy subservient to almighty Allah. Allah has created all living beings to obey him and worship him."
Oh dear... I don't know what the man is smoking, but I sure don't want any of it. On the other hand, if we could send him and his followers to the moon to preach to whatever aliens they might find out there, it might be well worth the price tag.
One could think that a guy who has an arrest warrant issued on him by Lebanese security forces would have more immediate things to worry about than conversion of aliens all over the galaxy.
A note for the really weird: if you have been persecuted for Islamic extremism in Saudi Arabia, kicked out of the UK for supporting terrorism, are being wanted by Hezbollah for terrorist activities, and you are still concerned with converting E.T. and Chewbacca to Islam, maybe you need to take a long hard look at your life, check whether the tobacco you are smoking is in fact tobacco, and schedule an appointment with your friendly local psychiatrist.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
The less-radical younger generation
This seems almost too funny to be true. Remember Omar Bakri, the man that the newspapers usually politely call "firebrand cleric" because a newspaper can get in trouble for using a more descriptive term, for example "delusional Islamist sociopath"?
His daughter Yasmin turned out to be a pole dancer. Which, of course, totally doesn't have anything to do with the way they took her out of school at 16 for an arranged marriage.
One of Bakri's comments: "Islam has prevailed and you are defeated. The lowest people on earth are non-Muslims and that is why we have to put up with these fabrications and lies."
His daughter Yasmin turned out to be a pole dancer. Which, of course, totally doesn't have anything to do with the way they took her out of school at 16 for an arranged marriage.
One of Bakri's comments: "Islam has prevailed and you are defeated. The lowest people on earth are non-Muslims and that is why we have to put up with these fabrications and lies."
Friday, April 18, 2008
Abu Izzadeen, I have good news and bad news for you
The good news is that you might still get a virgin in this life, without dying first. The bad news is that his name is Abu Hamza.
Yesterday Abu Izzadeen was convicted of terrorist fundraising and inciting terrorism overseas. He will be sentenced today, and is facing up to a life sentence.
Yesterday Abu Izzadeen was convicted of terrorist fundraising and inciting terrorism overseas. He will be sentenced today, and is facing up to a life sentence.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Truth in advertisement?
Via Dhimmi Watch:
A primary school in Amsterdam organized a visit to El Mouchidine mosque, and the chairman of the mosque told a group of 10-year-olds that unbelievers are dogs.
The funniest thing is that the article starts "A primary school in Amsterdam wished to provide its pupils with an understanding for other cultures." I guess they succeeded, even though probably not quite the way the school intended.
A primary school in Amsterdam organized a visit to El Mouchidine mosque, and the chairman of the mosque told a group of 10-year-olds that unbelievers are dogs.
The funniest thing is that the article starts "A primary school in Amsterdam wished to provide its pupils with an understanding for other cultures." I guess they succeeded, even though probably not quite the way the school intended.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Hooligans for Islam, part N
Abu Bakar Bashir, the Indonesian Islamic cleric best known for his participation in 2002 Bali bombing conspiracy, opened his mouth again, this time in an address to an Islamic youth organization near the home village of convicted Bali bombers Amrozi and Mukhlas.
In his sermon he compares the tourists in Bali to worms, snakes and maggots, and he also urges the Islamist youth to beat up foreigners and infidels. In East Java, where he was speaking, it is probably easy, because nobody in their right mind goes there. In Bali it might be a bad idea, what with 95% of population being infidels.
"If there were infidels here, just beat them up. Do not tolerate them." (There are in fact some Hindus in East Java.) If there is hell, I hope Abu Bakar Bashir will get there very soon, and get to hear all the lectures on tolerance that have been given in the Western world for the last 40 year. In a permanent loop. For all eternity.
"The youth movement here must aspire to a martyrdom death," said the cleric. "The young must be first at the front line - don't hide at the back. You must be at the front, die as martyrs and all your sins will be forgiven. This is how to achieve forgiveness."
Oh well. The man himself is 69, so he understandably wants to present the heroic martyrdom as something that young people should do, and that he himself is a bit too old for. It's hard to stop wondering how he managed to fail to achieve the glorious martyrdom in his own youth, though. I mean, it's not like he just found Allah in his old age. He was a Islamic youth activist when he was young.
On the other hand this article, which predicts a Muslim majority in Brussels in 15-20 years, mentions 65-year-old Abdullah Abu Abdulaziz Bastin (né Jean-François Bastin), who founded an Islamic Youth party 4 years ago, so maybe a true Islamist is forever young at heart?
In this case we can only wish Abu Bakar Bashir a most glorious martyrdom, as long as it doesn't kill or injure any innocent bystanders.
I often wonder how many of those young Muslims who listen to all this bullshit wonder why the guys who urge them to die young tend to be in their fifties and sixties.
In his sermon he compares the tourists in Bali to worms, snakes and maggots, and he also urges the Islamist youth to beat up foreigners and infidels. In East Java, where he was speaking, it is probably easy, because nobody in their right mind goes there. In Bali it might be a bad idea, what with 95% of population being infidels.
"If there were infidels here, just beat them up. Do not tolerate them." (There are in fact some Hindus in East Java.) If there is hell, I hope Abu Bakar Bashir will get there very soon, and get to hear all the lectures on tolerance that have been given in the Western world for the last 40 year. In a permanent loop. For all eternity.
"The youth movement here must aspire to a martyrdom death," said the cleric. "The young must be first at the front line - don't hide at the back. You must be at the front, die as martyrs and all your sins will be forgiven. This is how to achieve forgiveness."
Oh well. The man himself is 69, so he understandably wants to present the heroic martyrdom as something that young people should do, and that he himself is a bit too old for. It's hard to stop wondering how he managed to fail to achieve the glorious martyrdom in his own youth, though. I mean, it's not like he just found Allah in his old age. He was a Islamic youth activist when he was young.
On the other hand this article, which predicts a Muslim majority in Brussels in 15-20 years, mentions 65-year-old Abdullah Abu Abdulaziz Bastin (né Jean-François Bastin), who founded an Islamic Youth party 4 years ago, so maybe a true Islamist is forever young at heart?
In this case we can only wish Abu Bakar Bashir a most glorious martyrdom, as long as it doesn't kill or injure any innocent bystanders.
I often wonder how many of those young Muslims who listen to all this bullshit wonder why the guys who urge them to die young tend to be in their fifties and sixties.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
"No, your Honor, I didn't do any of the stuff you saw on tape"
I've been wondering what out old friend Abu Izzadeen has been up to and why hasn't he been in the news for a while.
Turns out he has been waiting for his trial, and apparently, unlike some other fundamentalists, has been quiet for a while.
Now he is trying to explain to the court that when he said "we are terrorists" he did not really mean it. It's kind of hard to explain that he did not mean to incite terrorism and raise funds for it when they court has just seen videos of him doing exactly that.
On a related note, there was a lot of weirdness in the UK lately, and I wanted to write about it, but Jussi Halla-aho already did, and very thoroughly.
But even the British sometimes get something right, and for once they decided not to let an extremist cleric into the country. On the grounds of peace and security. Muslims are - surprise? - outraged, and sources close to al-Qaradawi blame the Zionists just in case.
Turns out he has been waiting for his trial, and apparently, unlike some other fundamentalists, has been quiet for a while.
Now he is trying to explain to the court that when he said "we are terrorists" he did not really mean it. It's kind of hard to explain that he did not mean to incite terrorism and raise funds for it when they court has just seen videos of him doing exactly that.
On a related note, there was a lot of weirdness in the UK lately, and I wanted to write about it, but Jussi Halla-aho already did, and very thoroughly.
But even the British sometimes get something right, and for once they decided not to let an extremist cleric into the country. On the grounds of peace and security. Muslims are - surprise? - outraged, and sources close to al-Qaradawi blame the Zionists just in case.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Peace down under
Australians seem to have pretty bad luck with their Grand Muftis. They just got rid of the cat meat guy last summer, and now the counter-terrorism police wants to question the new guy, Fehmi Naji El-Imam, about his public support for Hezbollah.
In other somewhat Australia-related news, the Indonesian cleric Abu Bakar Bashir has been allowed to see the three death-row bombers in jail to offer them guidance.
Excuse me, but isn't his guidance what brought them there in the first place? What the fuck do they need more of it for? They are on the death row already! 216 90-year-old virgins await, and every one of them is just as beautiful as Mother Theresa!
In other somewhat Australia-related news, the Indonesian cleric Abu Bakar Bashir has been allowed to see the three death-row bombers in jail to offer them guidance.
Excuse me, but isn't his guidance what brought them there in the first place? What the fuck do they need more of it for? They are on the death row already! 216 90-year-old virgins await, and every one of them is just as beautiful as Mother Theresa!
Monday, October 29, 2007
Eek, there are antennae under that hat!
Abu Bakar Bashir, who has recently served two years in prison for his inspirational involvement in 2002 Bali bombings, has given an interview. A few bits:
"The US has a program and has a crusade that is being carried out in an unfair way, which is by spreading the message that there is Islamic terrorism in this world and basically all the enemies, all the terrorists are Islamists and all the people who fight for sharia law."
Errr... I thought it was Abu Bakar Bashir himself who was spreading the message that there is Islamic terrorism in this world, by being, you know, an Islamic terrorist.
"ATol: So you are condemning the Bali bombers?
Ba'asyir: No. The bombers are actually counter-terrorists because they are opposing US terrorism. They are mujahids."
Let's see: bombing Indonesian nightclubs is an act of opposition to US terrorism?
The guy goes on much in the same spirit, praising Osama, etc.
Funny thing: there are many terrorist-supporting imams who like to say that everyone else is a terrorist and they are innocent freedom fighters, that London bombings happened because people are suspicious of Muslims, etc., but just in case of this particular guy, every time he speaks I get a feeling of "what planet did this creature come from, and could we please send him back?".
"The US has a program and has a crusade that is being carried out in an unfair way, which is by spreading the message that there is Islamic terrorism in this world and basically all the enemies, all the terrorists are Islamists and all the people who fight for sharia law."
Errr... I thought it was Abu Bakar Bashir himself who was spreading the message that there is Islamic terrorism in this world, by being, you know, an Islamic terrorist.
"ATol: So you are condemning the Bali bombers?
Ba'asyir: No. The bombers are actually counter-terrorists because they are opposing US terrorism. They are mujahids."
Let's see: bombing Indonesian nightclubs is an act of opposition to US terrorism?
The guy goes on much in the same spirit, praising Osama, etc.
Funny thing: there are many terrorist-supporting imams who like to say that everyone else is a terrorist and they are innocent freedom fighters, that London bombings happened because people are suspicious of Muslims, etc., but just in case of this particular guy, every time he speaks I get a feeling of "what planet did this creature come from, and could we please send him back?".
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Abu Hamza song
I am Abu Hamza, a Muslim cleric
I used to preach in Finsbury Park mosque,
My sermons were a little bit barbaric
But I delivered them with mightly force.
I'm all for the equality of sexes
And polyandry I don't mind a bit.
I married one of my bigamic exes
So I could get a residence permit.
When I was young I used to be a bouncer,
But they decided that I was too dumb,
And it's more fun to be a doom announcer
So I became a radical imam.
Osama is my most-admired hero,
I tried to give a hand to Taleban,
I lost both hands and eye, but kept my beard,
And all the body parts that make a man.
In Britain I became a famous preacher,
My name is always mentioned in the news,
In my sermons the most important feature
Is killing of the kuffar and the Jews.
A Jew-free world would be a great improvement,
Behind all evil there is some Jew.
They also guide the planetary movement
And nowadays my bowel movements, too.
Please kill the unbelievers when you see them,
With bombs, or guns, or poison or a word,
For any reason or without a reason,
The unbelievers should be put to sword.
But then came the police, and then they told me
That murder is a thing I shouldn't preach.
How dare those kuffar to try to scold me?
I want respect for my freedom of speech.
The court convicted me of the incitement
As poor man, I never stood a chance,
I could not fight this horrible indictment
Though state gave million pounds for my defense.
And now the state has noticed I'm not poor
And is demanding back the million quid,
They froze my jail allowance to be sure,
And found some of the money that I hid.
My life is full of misery and anguish,
I'm serving seven years in Belmarsh,
In British prison I don't want to languish,
The kuffar justice is unduly harsh.
Americans want Brits to extradite me,
They'll put me in the Supermax for life.
One thought that really does not delight me:
I might become the Unabomber's wife.
I used to think that I was very clever
And lead my students to the life of crime,
But now I'll have to stay with them forever
And hear their bullshit all the time.
Americans! I really hope you will
Show mercy to a person whom you hate:
It sure is unusual and cruel
To put one in a cell with Richard Reid.
But in the meanwhile in the British prison
I realized that my nurse is a poof.
They surely had some ungodly reason
To let a guy like that under this roof.
He probably gets totally excited
Each time he wipes my handsome manly ass,
And as a Muslim I should be entitled
To have him fired or at least harassed.
Gay people are a vile abomination
But even though I spit and scream and curse
In this atrocious godless kuffar nation
They won't assign to me another nurse.
At least I can refuse the nursing service
And try to wipe my anus on my own.
Oh shit, my hooks are stuck, I'm getting nervous!
Oh God! Wrong move! Right hook stuck in the bone!
It is too late, but better late then never -
Oh dear Lord, my ass is ripped to shred -
Allah, please do me an enormous favor:
Insert some common sense into my head.
I used to preach in Finsbury Park mosque,
My sermons were a little bit barbaric
But I delivered them with mightly force.
I'm all for the equality of sexes
And polyandry I don't mind a bit.
I married one of my bigamic exes
So I could get a residence permit.
When I was young I used to be a bouncer,
But they decided that I was too dumb,
And it's more fun to be a doom announcer
So I became a radical imam.
Osama is my most-admired hero,
I tried to give a hand to Taleban,
I lost both hands and eye, but kept my beard,
And all the body parts that make a man.
In Britain I became a famous preacher,
My name is always mentioned in the news,
In my sermons the most important feature
Is killing of the kuffar and the Jews.
A Jew-free world would be a great improvement,
Behind all evil there is some Jew.
They also guide the planetary movement
And nowadays my bowel movements, too.
Please kill the unbelievers when you see them,
With bombs, or guns, or poison or a word,
For any reason or without a reason,
The unbelievers should be put to sword.
But then came the police, and then they told me
That murder is a thing I shouldn't preach.
How dare those kuffar to try to scold me?
I want respect for my freedom of speech.
The court convicted me of the incitement
As poor man, I never stood a chance,
I could not fight this horrible indictment
Though state gave million pounds for my defense.
And now the state has noticed I'm not poor
And is demanding back the million quid,
They froze my jail allowance to be sure,
And found some of the money that I hid.
My life is full of misery and anguish,
I'm serving seven years in Belmarsh,
In British prison I don't want to languish,
The kuffar justice is unduly harsh.
Americans want Brits to extradite me,
They'll put me in the Supermax for life.
One thought that really does not delight me:
I might become the Unabomber's wife.
I used to think that I was very clever
And lead my students to the life of crime,
But now I'll have to stay with them forever
And hear their bullshit all the time.
Americans! I really hope you will
Show mercy to a person whom you hate:
It sure is unusual and cruel
To put one in a cell with Richard Reid.
But in the meanwhile in the British prison
I realized that my nurse is a poof.
They surely had some ungodly reason
To let a guy like that under this roof.
He probably gets totally excited
Each time he wipes my handsome manly ass,
And as a Muslim I should be entitled
To have him fired or at least harassed.
Gay people are a vile abomination
But even though I spit and scream and curse
In this atrocious godless kuffar nation
They won't assign to me another nurse.
At least I can refuse the nursing service
And try to wipe my anus on my own.
Oh shit, my hooks are stuck, I'm getting nervous!
Oh God! Wrong move! Right hook stuck in the bone!
It is too late, but better late then never -
Oh dear Lord, my ass is ripped to shred -
Allah, please do me an enormous favor:
Insert some common sense into my head.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
You know you are dealing with a man of conviction when...
...he is ready to wipe his ass with a metal hook.
Imam Abu Hamza Al-Masri believes in Allah, improvised explosive devices and killing the kuffar. His beliefs have not served him well - he lost both hands and one eye in some combination of the above, and he is currently serving 7 years in the UK for inciting murder and a number of lesser charges, the US is asking for his extradition on terrorism charges when he is done, and Yemen is third in line.
Anyway, now he realized that the nurse who has been taking care of him in prison for the last two years is gay. The nurse has been quite openly gay all that time, of course, but Abu Hamza is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Or the sharpest hook, as may be the case.
Abu Hamza demanded a replacement and is saying that his religious rights are being breached. He feels that it is somehow unbecoming for a guy who believes that gay people should be killed to have his ass wiped by a gay person, so now he refuses the care.
I apologize to all the innocent handless people reading this, if any, but I find the idea of Abu Hamza using his hooks to wipe his ass by himself absolutely hilarious. I'd love to see his facial expression in Youtube.
Note to the prison guards: a) I am not encouraging actual filming, even though I'd love to see it, and b) if he chooses the "wiping is for the kuffar" way out of his dilemma, please don't film the results. Eeew.
Imam Abu Hamza Al-Masri believes in Allah, improvised explosive devices and killing the kuffar. His beliefs have not served him well - he lost both hands and one eye in some combination of the above, and he is currently serving 7 years in the UK for inciting murder and a number of lesser charges, the US is asking for his extradition on terrorism charges when he is done, and Yemen is third in line.
Anyway, now he realized that the nurse who has been taking care of him in prison for the last two years is gay. The nurse has been quite openly gay all that time, of course, but Abu Hamza is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Or the sharpest hook, as may be the case.
Abu Hamza demanded a replacement and is saying that his religious rights are being breached. He feels that it is somehow unbecoming for a guy who believes that gay people should be killed to have his ass wiped by a gay person, so now he refuses the care.
I apologize to all the innocent handless people reading this, if any, but I find the idea of Abu Hamza using his hooks to wipe his ass by himself absolutely hilarious. I'd love to see his facial expression in Youtube.
Note to the prison guards: a) I am not encouraging actual filming, even though I'd love to see it, and b) if he chooses the "wiping is for the kuffar" way out of his dilemma, please don't film the results. Eeew.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
"We ain't no delinquents, we're misunderstood", part 5345
The Australian National Imams Council offered Sheik Taj Din "cat meat" al-Hilali a new two-year term as the Grand Mufti, which he "gracefully declined".
Then they elected Sheikh Fehmi Naji El-Imam, who supports Hezbollah and feels that Al-Hilali was just misunderstood.
Then they elected Sheikh Fehmi Naji El-Imam, who supports Hezbollah and feels that Al-Hilali was just misunderstood.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Commemorating WHAT?
On Sunday evening the late imam Khomeini was commemorated in Finland, in the Islamic Cultural Center in Helsinki.
Iran's Ambassador to Finland Reza Nazar-Ahari addressed the crowd on different aspects of Imam's life.
Oh, I can imagine those aspects:
- pedophilia: what does it feel like for a 27-year-old man to stick his dick into a 10-year-old girl,
- equality: as soon as the revolution is accomplished all other Iranian men are allowed to marry 9-year-old girls, too (aka "if it was good enough for my mother and wife..."),
- politics: how to use dumb leftists for your revolution and then fuck them over (compulsory for every revolutionary who wants to be successful),
- international relations: fuck diplomatic immunity,
- freedom of speech: "it's the duty of every Muslim to kill Rushdie",
- freedom of religion: "don't kill Jews or Christians as long as they are good dhimmis. Baha'i, on the other hand..."
- funeral: crowd nearly destroys coffin, wants to make sure that the man is really dead.
"In part of his speech, Nazar-Ahari said, "Imam's uprising was not against a special group or person, but it was against darkness." Imam reminded all Muslims, Shia and Sunni, of the necessity of awareness against cultural invasion, the ambassador added," - says the article.
Hmm, cultural invasion... Maybe Mr. Nazar-Ahari should address the Finnish people with this particular lecture? If he can discuss the concept of cultural invasion with Finnish multiculturalists, I would definitely like to attend the event.
Iran's Ambassador to Finland Reza Nazar-Ahari addressed the crowd on different aspects of Imam's life.
Oh, I can imagine those aspects:
- pedophilia: what does it feel like for a 27-year-old man to stick his dick into a 10-year-old girl,
- equality: as soon as the revolution is accomplished all other Iranian men are allowed to marry 9-year-old girls, too (aka "if it was good enough for my mother and wife..."),
- politics: how to use dumb leftists for your revolution and then fuck them over (compulsory for every revolutionary who wants to be successful),
- international relations: fuck diplomatic immunity,
- freedom of speech: "it's the duty of every Muslim to kill Rushdie",
- freedom of religion: "don't kill Jews or Christians as long as they are good dhimmis. Baha'i, on the other hand..."
- funeral: crowd nearly destroys coffin, wants to make sure that the man is really dead.
"In part of his speech, Nazar-Ahari said, "Imam's uprising was not against a special group or person, but it was against darkness." Imam reminded all Muslims, Shia and Sunni, of the necessity of awareness against cultural invasion, the ambassador added," - says the article.
Hmm, cultural invasion... Maybe Mr. Nazar-Ahari should address the Finnish people with this particular lecture? If he can discuss the concept of cultural invasion with Finnish multiculturalists, I would definitely like to attend the event.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
And in weirdbeard news...
Our old friend Abu Izzadeen got arrested for inciting terrorism and fundraising.
Abu Hamza had his pocket money frozen, and no, I am not kidding. Abu Hamza is serving seven years for soliciting murder and inciting racial hatred, and managed to find a way to profit from property deals while behind bars in spite of having his assets frozen. This pissed the Treasury off so much that they seized his pocket money. At a very bad time too, what with Abu Izzadeen arrested and unable to raise more money for Abu Hamza.
Careful, man. You keep that up and the treasury will confiscate your hook and sell it for profit.
Abu Hamza had his pocket money frozen, and no, I am not kidding. Abu Hamza is serving seven years for soliciting murder and inciting racial hatred, and managed to find a way to profit from property deals while behind bars in spite of having his assets frozen. This pissed the Treasury off so much that they seized his pocket money. At a very bad time too, what with Abu Izzadeen arrested and unable to raise more money for Abu Hamza.
Careful, man. You keep that up and the treasury will confiscate your hook and sell it for profit.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Al-Hihhuli is entertaining the world again
Only last week Sheikh "cat meat" Al-Hilali got accused of mishandling the charity funds meant for the Lebanese victims of Israel-Lebanon war (more specifically, of giving at least $12,400 (Australian) of said funds to Sheikh Bilal Shaaban, an Al Qaeda supporter).
Apparently not in a lot of hurry to come back to Australia and explain himself, he has visited Tehran this weekend, and urged the Islamic world to stand in the trenches with the Islamic Republic of Iran which possesses the might and the power.
Upon hearing that a number of senior Australian politicians have publicly expressed hope that Al-Hilali would remain in Iranian trenches or anywhere outside Australia indefinitely. The police, OTOH, look forward to seeing Al-Hilali in person and asking him questions about the money.
The Australian Federation of Islamic Councils refused to fire Al-Hilali from his position as the grand mufti, but stopped paying his salary. Good luck getting monthly bank transfers from Allah, the Merciful, the Compassionate.
Apparently not in a lot of hurry to come back to Australia and explain himself, he has visited Tehran this weekend, and urged the Islamic world to stand in the trenches with the Islamic Republic of Iran which possesses the might and the power.
Upon hearing that a number of senior Australian politicians have publicly expressed hope that Al-Hilali would remain in Iranian trenches or anywhere outside Australia indefinitely. The police, OTOH, look forward to seeing Al-Hilali in person and asking him questions about the money.
The Australian Federation of Islamic Councils refused to fire Al-Hilali from his position as the grand mufti, but stopped paying his salary. Good luck getting monthly bank transfers from Allah, the Merciful, the Compassionate.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
