It's funny how some countries just have the worst of luck. In addition to all the other plagues of its recent and current history, such as Belgians, two very bloody civil wars, the life expectancy of 51.46 years, corruption, etc., nowadays Congo (that's the Democratic Republic of the Congo, as opposed to the Undemocratic Republic of the Congo) is also plagued by penis thieves.
That's the sorcerers who use black magic to steal penises. The article didn't say what they are supposed to do with the penises afterwards, but I think that now we know where all the nice people who send me email offering to increase the size of my penis get their penis extensions from.
One would think that all the men of average intelligence, or even most men a few standard deviations on the left side of the Bell curve, could find out whether or not their penises has been stolen by simple empirical observation with a naked eye (ok, a few would need mirrors and a few would need magnifying glasses, but still...). The rest of them filed complaints with the police.
Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, had to order the arrest of the 13 accused in order to prevent mob lynchings. The police also detained 14 of the victims, probably because people that stupid should not be allowed to roam free.
Being Kinshasa's police chief gotta be the second worst job in the world. (The first worst job in the world is probably being Hamas's image consultant.) The man, however, seems to have retained a sense of humor:
"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Goodbye Russia, 20 years ago
We left Russia exactly 20 years ago. I was very young, very happy and very hung over.
It was snowing, and pretty cold. I was falling off my shoes, which were not meant for the snow, and probably not meant for me either. There were friends and relatives to lean on, they had spent the night over our place.
After the customs and the passport control I had to wobble ahead on my own, because my parents had to make sure that grandpa remains vertical. But at least it was not snowing inside.
It was my first time in an airplane, too. We watched out of the window how at the next gate some guy climbed onto a wing of a plane with a broom and started sweeping the engine from inside. The Austrians in the plane were pointing and laughing.
The plane took off. A flight attendant brought people chicken and sandwiches. She also had plastic cups with juice and wine, and asked everyone "juice or wine". After taking one look at me she didn't ask anything but just gave me the wine.
It was snowing, and pretty cold. I was falling off my shoes, which were not meant for the snow, and probably not meant for me either. There were friends and relatives to lean on, they had spent the night over our place.
After the customs and the passport control I had to wobble ahead on my own, because my parents had to make sure that grandpa remains vertical. But at least it was not snowing inside.
It was my first time in an airplane, too. We watched out of the window how at the next gate some guy climbed onto a wing of a plane with a broom and started sweeping the engine from inside. The Austrians in the plane were pointing and laughing.
The plane took off. A flight attendant brought people chicken and sandwiches. She also had plastic cups with juice and wine, and asked everyone "juice or wine". After taking one look at me she didn't ask anything but just gave me the wine.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Next, Islamic chemistry?
At a conference in Qatar Muslim scientists and clerics discussed adoption of Mecca time.
No, they didn't mean turning the clock back 1400 years, just using Mecca time to replace GMT. Because, of course, Mecca is the one true and real center of the world (accept no substitutions!) and is in line with the magnetic north pole.
Oh, dear. I knew that they had their own human rights, different from the regular human rights and highly reminiscent of the old untranslatable Russian joke about democracy and democratization [1]. But damn, now they have their own magnetic north pole too. Different from your regular Western imperialist magnetic pole, and apparently stationary.
Somebody should tell them the pole keeps moving. Imagine the endless hours of fun we could all have watching them put the city on little wheels (or, more traditionally, camels) and try to move it around.
The actual Western imperialist magnetic pole was at 82.7° N 114.4° W in 2005. If Mecca were at that longitude and its own latitude it would be located in the Pacific Ocean a bit off Mexico's West Coast. While this idea does have just a little bit of morbid attraction, don't try this at home, kids, or at least purchase sufficient number of lifeboats before trying.
Next step: Islamic chemistry. The best bombs in the world can be produced by mixing carrots and peas. I am sure this is written in some holy book somewhere.
1) The Russian joke from the democratization times:
Чем отличается демократия от демократизации? - Тем же, чем канал от канализации.
No, they didn't mean turning the clock back 1400 years, just using Mecca time to replace GMT. Because, of course, Mecca is the one true and real center of the world (accept no substitutions!) and is in line with the magnetic north pole.
Oh, dear. I knew that they had their own human rights, different from the regular human rights and highly reminiscent of the old untranslatable Russian joke about democracy and democratization [1]. But damn, now they have their own magnetic north pole too. Different from your regular Western imperialist magnetic pole, and apparently stationary.
Somebody should tell them the pole keeps moving. Imagine the endless hours of fun we could all have watching them put the city on little wheels (or, more traditionally, camels) and try to move it around.
The actual Western imperialist magnetic pole was at 82.7° N 114.4° W in 2005. If Mecca were at that longitude and its own latitude it would be located in the Pacific Ocean a bit off Mexico's West Coast. While this idea does have just a little bit of morbid attraction, don't try this at home, kids, or at least purchase sufficient number of lifeboats before trying.
Next step: Islamic chemistry. The best bombs in the world can be produced by mixing carrots and peas. I am sure this is written in some holy book somewhere.
1) The Russian joke from the democratization times:
Чем отличается демократия от демократизации? - Тем же, чем канал от канализации.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Constitution? What Constitution?
After 9/11 our government has in its infinite wisdom created a no-fly list, which contains the names of suspected terrorists who are not allowed to fly. While I can understand the purpose of the other list they established - a selectee list that contains the names of the people who should be searched more thoroughly when boarding a plane - what, exactly, is the purpose of a no-fly list? Wouldn't it be quite safe to transport even Bin Laden if he has been properly searched? What's he gonna do without weapons or explosives - pray and call Allah's wrath upon the plane? I am sure that hundreds of thousands of people, both terrorists and law-abiding citizens, have already spent tens of thousands hours praying to dozens of deities to strike the TSA dead, so the continuous existence of this agency can be considered a conclusive proof that prayer is not all that dangerous.
The evil-doers, in the meanwhile, have had the unprecedented gall to use fairly common names, such as T. Kennedy or Robert Johnson or David Nelson or John Williams. For the most part the list contains dates of birth, middle names, or suchlike, so all this means is that all the other people with the same names have to show some ID proving that they are not that particular person. Sometimes, however, there is nothing except the name, and everyone else by the same name is totally screwed.
In short, the government is keeping a secret list of names of people whom they don't have enough evidence to accuse, whose rights they infringe upon, who are not allowed to know why they are there and who are not allowed to know that they are in fact there until they arrive at the airport. Sweet.
The right to travel is a Consitutional right, not mentioned as such in the Constitution but very firmly established in the US law. It does not include the right to travel by the most convenient transportation, but that's an excuse that would work only if we are talking about the airline travel between, say, NYC and Boston. Between NYC and San Francisco, or Honolulu, there are no other feasible methods of transportation, and I'd love to see the government try to argue otherwise in court.
People in the US (Guantanamo Bay doesn't count, of course) are not supposed to be held to answer for crimes or deprived of life, liberty, or property without due process of law (Fifth Amendement). A secret government list does not quite constitute a due process of law. Not yet.
And now some people in Congress (U.S. Rep. Mark Kirk, R-Illinois) want to forbid selling guns to the people on that list. Mind you, I realize that evil-doers owning guns pose more risks than well-searched evil-doers flying on commercial airlines, but keeping and bearing arms is also protected by the constitution. Due process and all, you know. Besides, isn't it fun when you can't check whether or not you are on the list, but your friendly neighborhood firearm salesperson can?
And besides, isn't it strange that the people who are too suspicious to fly on airplanes and own guns are still allowed to hold public office? This should be fixed immediately.
In fact, let's start a whole new list for that. Now that the long secret lists of people not allowed to engage in various constitutionally protected activities have become the new custom of the land, can we also institute a no-government list? You know, a list of people totally unfit to hold public office?
The evil-doers, in the meanwhile, have had the unprecedented gall to use fairly common names, such as T. Kennedy or Robert Johnson or David Nelson or John Williams. For the most part the list contains dates of birth, middle names, or suchlike, so all this means is that all the other people with the same names have to show some ID proving that they are not that particular person. Sometimes, however, there is nothing except the name, and everyone else by the same name is totally screwed.
In short, the government is keeping a secret list of names of people whom they don't have enough evidence to accuse, whose rights they infringe upon, who are not allowed to know why they are there and who are not allowed to know that they are in fact there until they arrive at the airport. Sweet.
The right to travel is a Consitutional right, not mentioned as such in the Constitution but very firmly established in the US law. It does not include the right to travel by the most convenient transportation, but that's an excuse that would work only if we are talking about the airline travel between, say, NYC and Boston. Between NYC and San Francisco, or Honolulu, there are no other feasible methods of transportation, and I'd love to see the government try to argue otherwise in court.
People in the US (Guantanamo Bay doesn't count, of course) are not supposed to be held to answer for crimes or deprived of life, liberty, or property without due process of law (Fifth Amendement). A secret government list does not quite constitute a due process of law. Not yet.
And now some people in Congress (U.S. Rep. Mark Kirk, R-Illinois) want to forbid selling guns to the people on that list. Mind you, I realize that evil-doers owning guns pose more risks than well-searched evil-doers flying on commercial airlines, but keeping and bearing arms is also protected by the constitution. Due process and all, you know. Besides, isn't it fun when you can't check whether or not you are on the list, but your friendly neighborhood firearm salesperson can?
And besides, isn't it strange that the people who are too suspicious to fly on airplanes and own guns are still allowed to hold public office? This should be fixed immediately.
In fact, let's start a whole new list for that. Now that the long secret lists of people not allowed to engage in various constitutionally protected activities have become the new custom of the land, can we also institute a no-government list? You know, a list of people totally unfit to hold public office?
Friday, April 18, 2008
Abu Izzadeen, I have good news and bad news for you
The good news is that you might still get a virgin in this life, without dying first. The bad news is that his name is Abu Hamza.
Yesterday Abu Izzadeen was convicted of terrorist fundraising and inciting terrorism overseas. He will be sentenced today, and is facing up to a life sentence.
Yesterday Abu Izzadeen was convicted of terrorist fundraising and inciting terrorism overseas. He will be sentenced today, and is facing up to a life sentence.
"Don't blow up, we are running out of virgins!"
According to the Saudi cleric Omar Al-Sweilem, you only get 10 virgins. Did they have some downsizing in heaven, or are there so many terrorists nowadays that there just aren't 72 for everyone?
"What hair! What a chest! What a mouth! What cheeks! What a figure! What breasts! What thighs! What legs! What whiteness! What softness! Without any creams - no Nivea, no Vaseline. No nothing!" Wow. The man is clearly passionate about his sermon.
Oh well. The Heaven might have problems with downsizing, but at least these Heavenly Virgins did not forget to visit the Heavenly Alko.
"What hair! What a chest! What a mouth! What cheeks! What a figure! What breasts! What thighs! What legs! What whiteness! What softness! Without any creams - no Nivea, no Vaseline. No nothing!" Wow. The man is clearly passionate about his sermon.
Oh well. The Heaven might have problems with downsizing, but at least these Heavenly Virgins did not forget to visit the Heavenly Alko.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Spring!
On Saturday, as I was walking by the Lepakkomies bar in Sörnäinen, I heard lots of horrible screams commenting on my breasts.
"Damn," I thought. "It's spring. Those fuckers are out already, and in a couple of weeks there are gonna be fruit flies, too."
Every once in a while I wonder what it would be like to play a psycho card on those guys: suddenly turn around with a crazy expression on my face, pull a wine bottle out of my backpack, charge them as if I am gonna hit them with the bottle, and see them try to scramble out of there, and with any luck spill their beers on their pants. But his probably qualifies as simple assault and is generally unwise, so I won't.
But anyway, it's finally spring.
On Sunday night I saw a guy holding his dick and running after a tram. (Yes, the dick was still attached.) This reminded me of the Helsinki Complaint Choir and the line "kolmosessa haisee kusi" ("it smells like piss in the tram number 3"). Especially since it was the tram number 3.
I wonder if we should blame the spring for that, too.
"Damn," I thought. "It's spring. Those fuckers are out already, and in a couple of weeks there are gonna be fruit flies, too."
Every once in a while I wonder what it would be like to play a psycho card on those guys: suddenly turn around with a crazy expression on my face, pull a wine bottle out of my backpack, charge them as if I am gonna hit them with the bottle, and see them try to scramble out of there, and with any luck spill their beers on their pants. But his probably qualifies as simple assault and is generally unwise, so I won't.
But anyway, it's finally spring.
On Sunday night I saw a guy holding his dick and running after a tram. (Yes, the dick was still attached.) This reminded me of the Helsinki Complaint Choir and the line "kolmosessa haisee kusi" ("it smells like piss in the tram number 3"). Especially since it was the tram number 3.
I wonder if we should blame the spring for that, too.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Cell phone providers and credit history
HS had an article on how the cell phone providers demand security deposits from foreigners, and Finns without a credit history.
According to the article, DNA, Elisa ja Saunalahti demand a security deposit for a year.
Funny. I've had GSM service from Sonera, Elisa (then Radiolinja) and DNA, and none of them asked for any deposits. Some other people say they were asked for a deposit. The thing seems to be quite random.
But the really funny thing about their "credit history" claim is that there is in fact no credit history in Finland, certainly not in the sense that they mean. Not a positive credit history, at least not officially. A credit history in Finland only contains the problems. If there have been no problems, it says that there have been no problems. It doesn't say "has had a credit card for 10 years", or "took out a car loan 5 years ago, has paid it back already", or "has a mortgage and has been paying it on time". The Finnish credit history doesn't really make any difference between a person who has just arrived and the person with a 30-year history of taking out big loans and paying them back on time. It just says "no problems".
And as to Finns that have just moved back to Finland: how do the cell phone providers even know that? The population register does not give out the info on the person's previous addresses; and DNA, Elisa ja Saunalahti are not even on the list of companies that get their customers' current addresses from there.
So, are they lying, or are they getting their info somewhere they shouldn't be?
According to the article, DNA, Elisa ja Saunalahti demand a security deposit for a year.
Funny. I've had GSM service from Sonera, Elisa (then Radiolinja) and DNA, and none of them asked for any deposits. Some other people say they were asked for a deposit. The thing seems to be quite random.
But the really funny thing about their "credit history" claim is that there is in fact no credit history in Finland, certainly not in the sense that they mean. Not a positive credit history, at least not officially. A credit history in Finland only contains the problems. If there have been no problems, it says that there have been no problems. It doesn't say "has had a credit card for 10 years", or "took out a car loan 5 years ago, has paid it back already", or "has a mortgage and has been paying it on time". The Finnish credit history doesn't really make any difference between a person who has just arrived and the person with a 30-year history of taking out big loans and paying them back on time. It just says "no problems".
And as to Finns that have just moved back to Finland: how do the cell phone providers even know that? The population register does not give out the info on the person's previous addresses; and DNA, Elisa ja Saunalahti are not even on the list of companies that get their customers' current addresses from there.
So, are they lying, or are they getting their info somewhere they shouldn't be?
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Only live performances, please
Just as you think that there is some limit to human stupidity, the government of Ahvenanmaa surprises you. They banned all the officials from staying in the hotels that offer porn channels on their TVs.
Yes, they do realize that this leaves very few hotels outside Sweden (Sweden has a list of porn-free hotels). But do they realize how expensive a live performance is in comparison with those TV channels?
I feel sorry for the officials having to reserve their hotel rooms. "Hi, I am Mårån Idiotsson from Ahvenanmaa Self-Righteous Prick Office. I would like to reserve a single room from May 5th till May 8th. But first of all: do you have porn channels in your rooms?"
Somehow I have a feeling that whoever wrote this policy is having a good laugh thinking about exactly the same thing.
On the other hand, this might be a conspiracy by the porn video manufacturers. Or prostitutes. Or tent and camping equipment manufacturers.
Just don't tell them that there is some porn somewhere on the Internet. They'll ban laptops for sure.
Yes, they do realize that this leaves very few hotels outside Sweden (Sweden has a list of porn-free hotels). But do they realize how expensive a live performance is in comparison with those TV channels?
I feel sorry for the officials having to reserve their hotel rooms. "Hi, I am Mårån Idiotsson from Ahvenanmaa Self-Righteous Prick Office. I would like to reserve a single room from May 5th till May 8th. But first of all: do you have porn channels in your rooms?"
Somehow I have a feeling that whoever wrote this policy is having a good laugh thinking about exactly the same thing.
On the other hand, this might be a conspiracy by the porn video manufacturers. Or prostitutes. Or tent and camping equipment manufacturers.
Just don't tell them that there is some porn somewhere on the Internet. They'll ban laptops for sure.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Truth in advertisement?
Via Dhimmi Watch:
A primary school in Amsterdam organized a visit to El Mouchidine mosque, and the chairman of the mosque told a group of 10-year-olds that unbelievers are dogs.
The funniest thing is that the article starts "A primary school in Amsterdam wished to provide its pupils with an understanding for other cultures." I guess they succeeded, even though probably not quite the way the school intended.
A primary school in Amsterdam organized a visit to El Mouchidine mosque, and the chairman of the mosque told a group of 10-year-olds that unbelievers are dogs.
The funniest thing is that the article starts "A primary school in Amsterdam wished to provide its pupils with an understanding for other cultures." I guess they succeeded, even though probably not quite the way the school intended.
Monday, April 07, 2008
Life
Haven't blogged for a while again, mostly due to a lot of work and a lot of social life.
Saw The Band's Visit and liked it quite a lot, although it seems to me that its makers have seen too much Kaurismäki.
Also saw the first season of Everest. Wow. I knew that people who climb big mountains are in general crazy, but those exceeded all my expectations.
Got a cool new coworker, who is Russian. Had some beers with her and her husband last week. Gonna introduce them to hot chocolate with rum sometime soon.
Listened to too much music. It's not healthy for me, not sure why.
Read a blog post about what women really want. It was written by a man who did not seem to know much about it, but it inspired me to look deep into my heart and ask myself what I really want. The answer was a 500G Seagate Barracuda hard drive, and I went to a store and bought it.
Saw The Band's Visit and liked it quite a lot, although it seems to me that its makers have seen too much Kaurismäki.
Also saw the first season of Everest. Wow. I knew that people who climb big mountains are in general crazy, but those exceeded all my expectations.
Got a cool new coworker, who is Russian. Had some beers with her and her husband last week. Gonna introduce them to hot chocolate with rum sometime soon.
Listened to too much music. It's not healthy for me, not sure why.
Read a blog post about what women really want. It was written by a man who did not seem to know much about it, but it inspired me to look deep into my heart and ask myself what I really want. The answer was a 500G Seagate Barracuda hard drive, and I went to a store and bought it.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Community standards
When I was young we used to rent a summer place in a town named Solnechnoye (Ollila for those of you whom Russians chased out of there during the WWII). It was a very typical resort town, consisting of summer cottages, and with a huge beach. There were maybe a 1000 people living there all year round, 5000 people living there in summer, and 10000 people present there on the beach on every sunny summer weekend.
There was a paved path from the beach to a narrow highway, a grocery store and an ice cream kiosk on the other side, and a tiny road from there to the railway station. That was about it.
Like in all the Russian beach resort towns and all of the western ones I've seen, the swimsuit-clad people tended to go to the kiosk to buy ice cream.
One nice summer day I went there too, as usual. In a swimsuit. I was 12. OK, I also had D-sized breasts. (This probably explains a lot about my personality. One reason I don't believe the slogan "violence has never solved everything" is that for a 12-year-old with D-sized breasts violence solves quite a lot.)
When I was crossing the street a cop suddenly grabbed my arm.
"Where are you going? Are you not ashamed of yourself?"
The answer to that was obviously "no", but I knew better than to talk back to a cop.
"I am just going to get some ice cream!"
"No, you are not! You are wearing a swimsuit! If you want ice cream get back to the beach and put your clothes on!"
"But we always buy ice cream in swimsuits! It doesn't bother anyone."
"You are offending the community standards!"
During this exchange about 50 of the community safely crossed the street behind his back. Every single one of them was wearing a swimsuit. About a 100 more of the swimsuit-clad community giggled at us from the kiosk line. There was about 300 people in sight, and not a single one of them was dressed, apart from the officer.
"Where are you going?" he grabbed two young men in swimming trunks.
"To get some ice cream."
"If you want ice cream get back to the beach and put your clothes on! You are offending the community standards!"
"Er, dude," said one of them, whose mother clearly didn't teach him not to talk to cops, "if we are all in swimsuits and you are the only one dressed, aren't you the one offending the community standards?"
I never heard the end of this conversation, because I figured this was a good moment to go away and cross the highway 50 meters down the road. I joined the huge kiosk line, and continued watching the lone warrior for the community standards from there. He was totally overwhelmed by the community and its standards, but not giving up. It was a poignant sight, and highly symbolic of the whole country.
There was a paved path from the beach to a narrow highway, a grocery store and an ice cream kiosk on the other side, and a tiny road from there to the railway station. That was about it.
Like in all the Russian beach resort towns and all of the western ones I've seen, the swimsuit-clad people tended to go to the kiosk to buy ice cream.
One nice summer day I went there too, as usual. In a swimsuit. I was 12. OK, I also had D-sized breasts. (This probably explains a lot about my personality. One reason I don't believe the slogan "violence has never solved everything" is that for a 12-year-old with D-sized breasts violence solves quite a lot.)
When I was crossing the street a cop suddenly grabbed my arm.
"Where are you going? Are you not ashamed of yourself?"
The answer to that was obviously "no", but I knew better than to talk back to a cop.
"I am just going to get some ice cream!"
"No, you are not! You are wearing a swimsuit! If you want ice cream get back to the beach and put your clothes on!"
"But we always buy ice cream in swimsuits! It doesn't bother anyone."
"You are offending the community standards!"
During this exchange about 50 of the community safely crossed the street behind his back. Every single one of them was wearing a swimsuit. About a 100 more of the swimsuit-clad community giggled at us from the kiosk line. There was about 300 people in sight, and not a single one of them was dressed, apart from the officer.
"Where are you going?" he grabbed two young men in swimming trunks.
"To get some ice cream."
"If you want ice cream get back to the beach and put your clothes on! You are offending the community standards!"
"Er, dude," said one of them, whose mother clearly didn't teach him not to talk to cops, "if we are all in swimsuits and you are the only one dressed, aren't you the one offending the community standards?"
I never heard the end of this conversation, because I figured this was a good moment to go away and cross the highway 50 meters down the road. I joined the huge kiosk line, and continued watching the lone warrior for the community standards from there. He was totally overwhelmed by the community and its standards, but not giving up. It was a poignant sight, and highly symbolic of the whole country.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
In a bar: cheery Russians and sad-eyed Leo
Went to a movie (10000 BC, was OK but nothing special) and a bar with a friend yesterday.
At some point I heard some Russians sitting next to us discussing me. It happens every once in a while; I usually ignore it. At some point, however, "I know her from somewhere" - "I think it was the linguistics department" - "no, I think it was the computer science department" intrigued me, and I realized that these might be the people who actually do know me. After this brilliant deduction I turned to look at them, and they introduced themselves, turning out to be a Sasha who has met me in the linguistics department, and a Viktor who was one of my student in the CS department.
"Do you know everyone in every bar?" asked Kimmo, the guy with whom I was drinking. This is not really the case, but his statistical sample seems to suggest that it is.
The Russians asked us to watch their stuff while they went for a smoke, came back, started a most absurdly funny linguistics discussion (which I didn't join for fear of boring Kimmo to death), addressed me in Russian in the polite plural (the last time anyone has done that to me was 24 years ago when a cop grabbed me for being too scantily dressed and insulting the community standards, but that is a whole different story), bought us some drinks, raised them with a very loud "L'Chaim!", suddenly got very angry at the guard at the door for some reason, and ran away.
A little while later a guy with sad eyes came up. "May I sit with you?" he asked. "For a while, if you behave youself," we said.
The sad-eyed guy was called Leo. He turned out to work in the same place where Kimmo was in the army, and they talked about the army things to the extent that made me slightly regret not joining the linguistics discussion earlier.
When Kimmo went to get himself another beer, Leo changed the subject.
"I really like your breasts. You have very big breasts," he said, with the same glow of a brave discoverer that Einstein must have had after figuring out the theory of relativity.
After realizing a second too late that "thanks, you too" might be a wrong answer, I added "thanks for the information, I'll keep it in mind". Leo got a bit defensive and tried to explain that this is a good thing.
Kimmo came back with his beer, and Leo changed the subject again. "Have you thought of going to a barber?" he asked Kimmo, whose hair is quite a bit past his shoulders. Kimmo answered that he had given short hair enough of a try, so no, the answer is "no". I suppressed the natural "man, have you looked in a mirror lately? You really shouldn't be giving people hairstyling advice", and settled for a polite "but men are so much sexier when they have long hair," looking rather pointedly at Leo's 1-centimeter-short hair.
"I don't know about that," said Leo, clearly trying to think what kind of men he might consider sexy and coming up short, "but I sure love receiving blow jobs from people with long hair".
"I don't think Kimmo would give you a blow job. Sorry."
After that Leo decided to change the subject again, to politics. Now, I don't generally consider it rude to discuss politics with total strangers, but I think you should start in softer tones, even if you are expressing extreme views. "Kokoomus are the fascist party" is a somewhat ill-advised start for a bar conversation, especially in an electoral district where it is the most popular party.
"Not really, but they are way too Social-Democratic," said Kimmo. Leo looked at him as if he had just grown horns.
"I've voted for Perussuomalaiset," said Kimmo.
"I'll probably vote for them next time around," I said.
Leo looked at us with eyes that were more terrified than sad and ran away, saying that he needed to go to the next place. Hope he didn't see too many nightmares.
At some point I heard some Russians sitting next to us discussing me. It happens every once in a while; I usually ignore it. At some point, however, "I know her from somewhere" - "I think it was the linguistics department" - "no, I think it was the computer science department" intrigued me, and I realized that these might be the people who actually do know me. After this brilliant deduction I turned to look at them, and they introduced themselves, turning out to be a Sasha who has met me in the linguistics department, and a Viktor who was one of my student in the CS department.
"Do you know everyone in every bar?" asked Kimmo, the guy with whom I was drinking. This is not really the case, but his statistical sample seems to suggest that it is.
The Russians asked us to watch their stuff while they went for a smoke, came back, started a most absurdly funny linguistics discussion (which I didn't join for fear of boring Kimmo to death), addressed me in Russian in the polite plural (the last time anyone has done that to me was 24 years ago when a cop grabbed me for being too scantily dressed and insulting the community standards, but that is a whole different story), bought us some drinks, raised them with a very loud "L'Chaim!", suddenly got very angry at the guard at the door for some reason, and ran away.
A little while later a guy with sad eyes came up. "May I sit with you?" he asked. "For a while, if you behave youself," we said.
The sad-eyed guy was called Leo. He turned out to work in the same place where Kimmo was in the army, and they talked about the army things to the extent that made me slightly regret not joining the linguistics discussion earlier.
When Kimmo went to get himself another beer, Leo changed the subject.
"I really like your breasts. You have very big breasts," he said, with the same glow of a brave discoverer that Einstein must have had after figuring out the theory of relativity.
After realizing a second too late that "thanks, you too" might be a wrong answer, I added "thanks for the information, I'll keep it in mind". Leo got a bit defensive and tried to explain that this is a good thing.
Kimmo came back with his beer, and Leo changed the subject again. "Have you thought of going to a barber?" he asked Kimmo, whose hair is quite a bit past his shoulders. Kimmo answered that he had given short hair enough of a try, so no, the answer is "no". I suppressed the natural "man, have you looked in a mirror lately? You really shouldn't be giving people hairstyling advice", and settled for a polite "but men are so much sexier when they have long hair," looking rather pointedly at Leo's 1-centimeter-short hair.
"I don't know about that," said Leo, clearly trying to think what kind of men he might consider sexy and coming up short, "but I sure love receiving blow jobs from people with long hair".
"I don't think Kimmo would give you a blow job. Sorry."
After that Leo decided to change the subject again, to politics. Now, I don't generally consider it rude to discuss politics with total strangers, but I think you should start in softer tones, even if you are expressing extreme views. "Kokoomus are the fascist party" is a somewhat ill-advised start for a bar conversation, especially in an electoral district where it is the most popular party.
"Not really, but they are way too Social-Democratic," said Kimmo. Leo looked at him as if he had just grown horns.
"I've voted for Perussuomalaiset," said Kimmo.
"I'll probably vote for them next time around," I said.
Leo looked at us with eyes that were more terrified than sad and ran away, saying that he needed to go to the next place. Hope he didn't see too many nightmares.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Valtionsyyttäjäkin on eläin
Tänään Espoon käräjäoikeus tuomitsi Mikko Ellilän kiihottamisesta kansanryhmää vastaan 60:een päiväsakkoon, ja määräsi hänet poistamaan tämän kirjoituksen blogistaan.
Ilta-Sanomien mukaan oikeus oli sitä mieltä että ihmisryhmien ominaisuuksista tai maahanmuuttopolitiikasta on oltava oikeus esittää kärkeviä ja erilaisia käsityksiä, mutta Ellilän lausunnot olivat "selkeän panettelevia ja solvaavia" ja loukkasivat heidän ihmisarvoaan (afrikkalaisten, oletan). Tai, Hesarin mukaan, "mies on kirjoittanut väitteet blogiinsa vain panettelu- ja solvaamistarkoituksessa".
Hmm. Ellilä kieltämättä kirjoittaa aika epäkohteliaasti, sekä tässä tapauksessa että muutenkin. Voiko tästä kuitenkin päätellä että tämä artikkeli on kirjoitettu vain ja ainoastaan panettelu- ja solvaamistarkoituksessa? Silloinhan voidaan melkein sanoa että koko mies on olemassa vain panettelu- ja solvaamistarkoituksessa. Onko siis vapaus esittää kärkeviä ja erilaisia käsityksiä, niin maahanmuuttopolitiikasta kuin muistakin asioista, tarkoitettu vain ihmisille joita on siunattu paremmilla sosiaalisilla taidoilla kuin Ellilää?
En ole lainoppinut, enkä oikeastaan tiedä kuinka laillista tai laitonta voi olla ihmisen tuomitseminen siitä, että hän ilmaisee itseään rumasti niinkin herkästä asiasta kuin rotu, ja muutenkin kuulostaa ilkeältä. Sen sen sijaan tiedän, että ainoa asia mihin hän kirjoituksessaan varsinaisesti kiihotti - tai kehotti - oli afrikkalaisten maahanmuuton vähentäminen. Mikä on sinänsä vain eräs käsitys maahanmuuttopolitiikasta.
Hesarin artikkeli myös väittää, että hän vertaa oikeuden mielestä halventavalla tavalla afrikkalaisia eläimeen. "Halventavalla tavalla" on tässä tapauksessa aika olennainen seikka, koska afrikkalainenhan on eläin, kuten kaikki muutkin ihmiset.
Ellilän omassa tekstissä lukee "ihminen on kuitenkin eläin, homo sapiens", minkä luulisi lakanneen olemasta solvaava ja panetteleva tieto jo aikoja sitten.
En nyt jaksa kirjoittaa tästä sen enempää ennen kuin olen lukenut sen oikeudenpäätöksen, mutta Matias Turkkilan raportti oikeudenkäynnistä oli aika mielenkiintoinen, suostittelen kaikille asiasta kiinnostuneille.
Ilta-Sanomien mukaan oikeus oli sitä mieltä että ihmisryhmien ominaisuuksista tai maahanmuuttopolitiikasta on oltava oikeus esittää kärkeviä ja erilaisia käsityksiä, mutta Ellilän lausunnot olivat "selkeän panettelevia ja solvaavia" ja loukkasivat heidän ihmisarvoaan (afrikkalaisten, oletan). Tai, Hesarin mukaan, "mies on kirjoittanut väitteet blogiinsa vain panettelu- ja solvaamistarkoituksessa".
Hmm. Ellilä kieltämättä kirjoittaa aika epäkohteliaasti, sekä tässä tapauksessa että muutenkin. Voiko tästä kuitenkin päätellä että tämä artikkeli on kirjoitettu vain ja ainoastaan panettelu- ja solvaamistarkoituksessa? Silloinhan voidaan melkein sanoa että koko mies on olemassa vain panettelu- ja solvaamistarkoituksessa. Onko siis vapaus esittää kärkeviä ja erilaisia käsityksiä, niin maahanmuuttopolitiikasta kuin muistakin asioista, tarkoitettu vain ihmisille joita on siunattu paremmilla sosiaalisilla taidoilla kuin Ellilää?
En ole lainoppinut, enkä oikeastaan tiedä kuinka laillista tai laitonta voi olla ihmisen tuomitseminen siitä, että hän ilmaisee itseään rumasti niinkin herkästä asiasta kuin rotu, ja muutenkin kuulostaa ilkeältä. Sen sen sijaan tiedän, että ainoa asia mihin hän kirjoituksessaan varsinaisesti kiihotti - tai kehotti - oli afrikkalaisten maahanmuuton vähentäminen. Mikä on sinänsä vain eräs käsitys maahanmuuttopolitiikasta.
Hesarin artikkeli myös väittää, että hän vertaa oikeuden mielestä halventavalla tavalla afrikkalaisia eläimeen. "Halventavalla tavalla" on tässä tapauksessa aika olennainen seikka, koska afrikkalainenhan on eläin, kuten kaikki muutkin ihmiset.
Ellilän omassa tekstissä lukee "ihminen on kuitenkin eläin, homo sapiens", minkä luulisi lakanneen olemasta solvaava ja panetteleva tieto jo aikoja sitten.
En nyt jaksa kirjoittaa tästä sen enempää ennen kuin olen lukenut sen oikeudenpäätöksen, mutta Matias Turkkilan raportti oikeudenkäynnistä oli aika mielenkiintoinen, suostittelen kaikille asiasta kiinnostuneille.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Hooligans for Islam, part N
Abu Bakar Bashir, the Indonesian Islamic cleric best known for his participation in 2002 Bali bombing conspiracy, opened his mouth again, this time in an address to an Islamic youth organization near the home village of convicted Bali bombers Amrozi and Mukhlas.
In his sermon he compares the tourists in Bali to worms, snakes and maggots, and he also urges the Islamist youth to beat up foreigners and infidels. In East Java, where he was speaking, it is probably easy, because nobody in their right mind goes there. In Bali it might be a bad idea, what with 95% of population being infidels.
"If there were infidels here, just beat them up. Do not tolerate them." (There are in fact some Hindus in East Java.) If there is hell, I hope Abu Bakar Bashir will get there very soon, and get to hear all the lectures on tolerance that have been given in the Western world for the last 40 year. In a permanent loop. For all eternity.
"The youth movement here must aspire to a martyrdom death," said the cleric. "The young must be first at the front line - don't hide at the back. You must be at the front, die as martyrs and all your sins will be forgiven. This is how to achieve forgiveness."
Oh well. The man himself is 69, so he understandably wants to present the heroic martyrdom as something that young people should do, and that he himself is a bit too old for. It's hard to stop wondering how he managed to fail to achieve the glorious martyrdom in his own youth, though. I mean, it's not like he just found Allah in his old age. He was a Islamic youth activist when he was young.
On the other hand this article, which predicts a Muslim majority in Brussels in 15-20 years, mentions 65-year-old Abdullah Abu Abdulaziz Bastin (né Jean-François Bastin), who founded an Islamic Youth party 4 years ago, so maybe a true Islamist is forever young at heart?
In this case we can only wish Abu Bakar Bashir a most glorious martyrdom, as long as it doesn't kill or injure any innocent bystanders.
I often wonder how many of those young Muslims who listen to all this bullshit wonder why the guys who urge them to die young tend to be in their fifties and sixties.
In his sermon he compares the tourists in Bali to worms, snakes and maggots, and he also urges the Islamist youth to beat up foreigners and infidels. In East Java, where he was speaking, it is probably easy, because nobody in their right mind goes there. In Bali it might be a bad idea, what with 95% of population being infidels.
"If there were infidels here, just beat them up. Do not tolerate them." (There are in fact some Hindus in East Java.) If there is hell, I hope Abu Bakar Bashir will get there very soon, and get to hear all the lectures on tolerance that have been given in the Western world for the last 40 year. In a permanent loop. For all eternity.
"The youth movement here must aspire to a martyrdom death," said the cleric. "The young must be first at the front line - don't hide at the back. You must be at the front, die as martyrs and all your sins will be forgiven. This is how to achieve forgiveness."
Oh well. The man himself is 69, so he understandably wants to present the heroic martyrdom as something that young people should do, and that he himself is a bit too old for. It's hard to stop wondering how he managed to fail to achieve the glorious martyrdom in his own youth, though. I mean, it's not like he just found Allah in his old age. He was a Islamic youth activist when he was young.
On the other hand this article, which predicts a Muslim majority in Brussels in 15-20 years, mentions 65-year-old Abdullah Abu Abdulaziz Bastin (né Jean-François Bastin), who founded an Islamic Youth party 4 years ago, so maybe a true Islamist is forever young at heart?
In this case we can only wish Abu Bakar Bashir a most glorious martyrdom, as long as it doesn't kill or injure any innocent bystanders.
I often wonder how many of those young Muslims who listen to all this bullshit wonder why the guys who urge them to die young tend to be in their fifties and sixties.
The Belgian government
Belgium has a government now. Took them only 9 months and 10 days.
They seem to be pretty quiet on the Brussels-Halle-Vilvoorde issue, as well as on most other minor issues, such as the budget or absence thereof, but they promise to be for everything good and against everything bad, and to boost the confidence in government. Who would have thought...
They seem to be pretty quiet on the Brussels-Halle-Vilvoorde issue, as well as on most other minor issues, such as the budget or absence thereof, but they promise to be for everything good and against everything bad, and to boost the confidence in government. Who would have thought...
Long time no blog
Too much partying is bad for blogging. Didn't have a single bloggable thought over the weekend, but had a very good time.
Other things that are bad for blogging are bugs (both of the software and common cold kind) and the final sessions of two RPG campaigns.
Other things that are bad for blogging are bugs (both of the software and common cold kind) and the final sessions of two RPG campaigns.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Personal violations
Some recent conversations about school meals and whether or not they should be obligatory made me wonder whether or not I value my physical self-determination more than most people (it certainly seems so), and if yes, why - or rather why don't many other people value theirs as much - and to what extents does the culture affect the attitudes towards it.
It seems like our society (probably all the Western societies, including Eastern Europe), and probably many others, considers a sexual assault a very serious violation of a person, but many other intrusions on a person's physical privacy much less so. I sort of understand the historical background for it, it's the people's current emotional reactions that are hard to understand.
I am not saying this to say that rape is not a serious crime - I'd rather other forms of assault be taken more seriously, too.
The reason I am writing this post is that I don't take personal violation lightly - and every time the subject comes up I keep running into people saying things like "but surely this cannot be that serious?". I can understand that for them it isn't (people can and do forgive some personal violations under some circumstances, and I have done so myself), but for me it is, and I am sort of surprised at their surprise.
To take one simple example, on the emotional level I don't see much difference between people trying to forcibly stuff unwanted penises and unwanted food into my mouth. It's my mouth, dammit. I decide what goes into it. If you try to physically override my decision - well, you just might get that fork in your eye. The law might well disagree, which I am sure will be a great consolation to your disembodied soul.
We had some obligatory meals in the daycare (you wouldn't believe what these people tried to make me eat, but luckily the actual violence was rather mild on both parts) and in theory in the first three grades in school. My first semester of the first grade was spent with every lunch break in the lunchroom, the teacher telling me that we are not leaving until I eat whatever is on my plate, and me pointing out that I am not in a hurry to get anywhere, and the class is not likely to start with her in the lunchroom anyway. After the first semester she gave up and banished me from the lunchroom to the great satisfaction of all the parties involved.
Anyway - when I hear Finnish people's rather numerous stories about being forced to eat in school I always wonder why they didn't employ this simple strategy, but I wonder even more about those who make those policies. Don't they understand that some percentage of people affected by them consider this a personal violation? Or don't they care? Or am I really that far out on this?
It seems like our society (probably all the Western societies, including Eastern Europe), and probably many others, considers a sexual assault a very serious violation of a person, but many other intrusions on a person's physical privacy much less so. I sort of understand the historical background for it, it's the people's current emotional reactions that are hard to understand.
I am not saying this to say that rape is not a serious crime - I'd rather other forms of assault be taken more seriously, too.
The reason I am writing this post is that I don't take personal violation lightly - and every time the subject comes up I keep running into people saying things like "but surely this cannot be that serious?". I can understand that for them it isn't (people can and do forgive some personal violations under some circumstances, and I have done so myself), but for me it is, and I am sort of surprised at their surprise.
To take one simple example, on the emotional level I don't see much difference between people trying to forcibly stuff unwanted penises and unwanted food into my mouth. It's my mouth, dammit. I decide what goes into it. If you try to physically override my decision - well, you just might get that fork in your eye. The law might well disagree, which I am sure will be a great consolation to your disembodied soul.
We had some obligatory meals in the daycare (you wouldn't believe what these people tried to make me eat, but luckily the actual violence was rather mild on both parts) and in theory in the first three grades in school. My first semester of the first grade was spent with every lunch break in the lunchroom, the teacher telling me that we are not leaving until I eat whatever is on my plate, and me pointing out that I am not in a hurry to get anywhere, and the class is not likely to start with her in the lunchroom anyway. After the first semester she gave up and banished me from the lunchroom to the great satisfaction of all the parties involved.
Anyway - when I hear Finnish people's rather numerous stories about being forced to eat in school I always wonder why they didn't employ this simple strategy, but I wonder even more about those who make those policies. Don't they understand that some percentage of people affected by them consider this a personal violation? Or don't they care? Or am I really that far out on this?
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Ihre Papiere, bitte!
The police has started checking the legality of foreign-looking people in public places, and it has caused a lot of passionate response, both for and against.
I am not very passionate about it either way, but can anyone explain to me how the hell is the damn thing supposed to work? There is no obligation to carry ID in Finland; people are, however, obliged to say who they are if the police asks them, and then the police can try to check this out through some database (I assume the population register database) using their social security number.
Now, there are people who have a social security number. They are almost always citizens and legal residents, although there are very few illegals among them (former legal residents who failed to renew their legal residence). And then there are people who don't have a social security number: illegals and tourists, and also very short-term legal residents and newly arrived legal residents who haven't got a social security number yet.
The question is, how is the police supposed to distinguish the tourists from the illegals? The tourists don't have to have an ID with them. The police probably has access to the database of tourists who have visas, and possibly have access to the database of visa-free tourists who entered Finland directly from a non-Schengen country. I am not sure they have a database of all non-Schengen tourists currently legally within the Schengen area, and I am absolutely sure they don't have a database of all the Schengen residents who happen to be visiting Finland at the moment. So, are they just hunting the illegals who are too dumb to say "I am a tourist"?
A few days ago HS polled its readers on the question of "may the police ask for passports of foreign-looking people in the streets?". The question was somewhat strange in this context because a) this is not what the police was planning on doing, and b) nobody is expected to carry a passport with them at all times, and I think few people do.
(In the unlikely event they meant "should we make a law obliging foreigners to carry their passports with them at all times, and then can the police ask for them", my answer would be certainly not - a passport is an unwieldy thing to carry, and the police should damn better be satisfied with the driver's license they themselves have given me. I don't, however, have strong opinions one way or another on the laws that require everybody to carry some sort of an ID, whether they concern everybody, or foreigners, or people who don't have a Finnish social security number.)
Anyway, I suspect I am about to get the answer to my question. The police checked out two nightclubs last night. They checked 59 people, and took 9 of them to the police station to find out their identity and status.
9 out of 59 is a very disturbing number. It might of course mean that 9 out of 59 were really illegal aliens too stupid to pretend to be tourists, or that they told police to bugger off, or that they were simply unconscious to begin with. But it is also fairly likely to be the number of people who did not have any papers on them.
If - and it's still an "if" - the police is really dragging every foreign-looking person without papers to the station, it does, in fact, mean that you have to carry an ID with you at all time. And while it's not necessarily a bad thing in principle, it shouldn't be up to the police to decide. We have that thing here, called Eduskunta. It makes laws. If you want a new law about carrying ID, please ask them.
I am not very passionate about it either way, but can anyone explain to me how the hell is the damn thing supposed to work? There is no obligation to carry ID in Finland; people are, however, obliged to say who they are if the police asks them, and then the police can try to check this out through some database (I assume the population register database) using their social security number.
Now, there are people who have a social security number. They are almost always citizens and legal residents, although there are very few illegals among them (former legal residents who failed to renew their legal residence). And then there are people who don't have a social security number: illegals and tourists, and also very short-term legal residents and newly arrived legal residents who haven't got a social security number yet.
The question is, how is the police supposed to distinguish the tourists from the illegals? The tourists don't have to have an ID with them. The police probably has access to the database of tourists who have visas, and possibly have access to the database of visa-free tourists who entered Finland directly from a non-Schengen country. I am not sure they have a database of all non-Schengen tourists currently legally within the Schengen area, and I am absolutely sure they don't have a database of all the Schengen residents who happen to be visiting Finland at the moment. So, are they just hunting the illegals who are too dumb to say "I am a tourist"?
A few days ago HS polled its readers on the question of "may the police ask for passports of foreign-looking people in the streets?". The question was somewhat strange in this context because a) this is not what the police was planning on doing, and b) nobody is expected to carry a passport with them at all times, and I think few people do.
(In the unlikely event they meant "should we make a law obliging foreigners to carry their passports with them at all times, and then can the police ask for them", my answer would be certainly not - a passport is an unwieldy thing to carry, and the police should damn better be satisfied with the driver's license they themselves have given me. I don't, however, have strong opinions one way or another on the laws that require everybody to carry some sort of an ID, whether they concern everybody, or foreigners, or people who don't have a Finnish social security number.)
Anyway, I suspect I am about to get the answer to my question. The police checked out two nightclubs last night. They checked 59 people, and took 9 of them to the police station to find out their identity and status.
9 out of 59 is a very disturbing number. It might of course mean that 9 out of 59 were really illegal aliens too stupid to pretend to be tourists, or that they told police to bugger off, or that they were simply unconscious to begin with. But it is also fairly likely to be the number of people who did not have any papers on them.
If - and it's still an "if" - the police is really dragging every foreign-looking person without papers to the station, it does, in fact, mean that you have to carry an ID with you at all time. And while it's not necessarily a bad thing in principle, it shouldn't be up to the police to decide. We have that thing here, called Eduskunta. It makes laws. If you want a new law about carrying ID, please ask them.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Hardware upgrade during a flu
To anyone who might have been wondering about my absence from irc and web forums, the blog not being updated, and my being unresponsive to email: I ain't dead, but bad flu and a broken computer at home were sure a bad combination.
On the brighter side, I finally understood what people mean when they talk about muscle aches during a flu. On Monday I felt hung over in spite of not having drunk anything on Sunday, and all my muscles hurt, especially the ass and lower back. By Tuesday afternoon I realized that I have spent most of the day in bed without having done anything about the computer hardware upgrade in progress, which in my book doesn't even count as sick, but rather as dead and buried.
But anyway, now I am mostly up from the dead, but tired and sleepy and my nose is bright red. The computer works, though, and I also assembled another one from the extra parts. I've always dreamed of having a computer in the toilet; probably should buy a monitor.
The motherboard that my father has sent me (ECS NForce 570 Slit-A) turned out to be deader than Lenin. You know there is something wrong when the thing doesn't even say "beep" on bootup and rotates the fans at the wrong moments. So I bought a Asus P5K Intel P35, which beeped and generally behaved.
Note to self: next time, before you take the old computer apart, use it to create an installation CD. More particularly, make sure that the installation CD you have just burned actually works. Mine turned out to be corrupted.
I had another installation CD, made during the dark times when dinosaurs roamed the Earth and cavemen beat each other over the heads with AMD Socket 939 motherboards. It was too ancient to recognize my dvd drive. The damn thing had a hell of a nerve, telling me that I don't have a CD drive while sitting in that drive. Ugh.
Finally I got an installation CD, the newest Debian stable (I am not gonna tell you whether I had to sell my soul to the devil for that, or my body to the entire Debian project, or to assemble yet another computer).
The first install (and several others) failed, apparently because Debian is not fond of small partitions nowadays. The disk had 5Gb for /, 15 Gb for /usr and another 5Gb for /var, and the install kept trying to write past the end of the partitions. Once I combined them all into one 25Gb partition the thing started working.
Then it turned out not to have any drivers for the onboard LAN. I have a large collection of PCI Ethernet cards around the place, so I just stuck one in. It utterly and completely refused to work on account of IRQ conflicts. IRQ conflicts are a sort of black magic to me, so I performed all kinds of rain dances known to me, setting kernel options to noapic and noacpi, trying to reassign the irq, etc. Nothing worked. Then I remembered that I have an ancient laptop and a USB stick, and simply downloaded a newer kernel (2.6.22-3). Worked like a charm, the onboard LAN started working, and we lived almost happily ever after. "Almost", because the motherfuckingboard had no PS/2 connector for a mouse, and the separate connector I had was evil. I bought a new USB mouse and everything started working fine, except that it glows bright blue for no apparent reason.
I am usually very suspicious of NVidia video cards (my father sent me one of those too) and their drivers, but this one (GeForce 7300 GT) worked with the nv driver with no trouble at all.
On the brighter side, I finally understood what people mean when they talk about muscle aches during a flu. On Monday I felt hung over in spite of not having drunk anything on Sunday, and all my muscles hurt, especially the ass and lower back. By Tuesday afternoon I realized that I have spent most of the day in bed without having done anything about the computer hardware upgrade in progress, which in my book doesn't even count as sick, but rather as dead and buried.
But anyway, now I am mostly up from the dead, but tired and sleepy and my nose is bright red. The computer works, though, and I also assembled another one from the extra parts. I've always dreamed of having a computer in the toilet; probably should buy a monitor.
The motherboard that my father has sent me (ECS NForce 570 Slit-A) turned out to be deader than Lenin. You know there is something wrong when the thing doesn't even say "beep" on bootup and rotates the fans at the wrong moments. So I bought a Asus P5K Intel P35, which beeped and generally behaved.
Note to self: next time, before you take the old computer apart, use it to create an installation CD. More particularly, make sure that the installation CD you have just burned actually works. Mine turned out to be corrupted.
I had another installation CD, made during the dark times when dinosaurs roamed the Earth and cavemen beat each other over the heads with AMD Socket 939 motherboards. It was too ancient to recognize my dvd drive. The damn thing had a hell of a nerve, telling me that I don't have a CD drive while sitting in that drive. Ugh.
Finally I got an installation CD, the newest Debian stable (I am not gonna tell you whether I had to sell my soul to the devil for that, or my body to the entire Debian project, or to assemble yet another computer).
The first install (and several others) failed, apparently because Debian is not fond of small partitions nowadays. The disk had 5Gb for /, 15 Gb for /usr and another 5Gb for /var, and the install kept trying to write past the end of the partitions. Once I combined them all into one 25Gb partition the thing started working.
Then it turned out not to have any drivers for the onboard LAN. I have a large collection of PCI Ethernet cards around the place, so I just stuck one in. It utterly and completely refused to work on account of IRQ conflicts. IRQ conflicts are a sort of black magic to me, so I performed all kinds of rain dances known to me, setting kernel options to noapic and noacpi, trying to reassign the irq, etc. Nothing worked. Then I remembered that I have an ancient laptop and a USB stick, and simply downloaded a newer kernel (2.6.22-3). Worked like a charm, the onboard LAN started working, and we lived almost happily ever after. "Almost", because the motherfuckingboard had no PS/2 connector for a mouse, and the separate connector I had was evil. I bought a new USB mouse and everything started working fine, except that it glows bright blue for no apparent reason.
I am usually very suspicious of NVidia video cards (my father sent me one of those too) and their drivers, but this one (GeForce 7300 GT) worked with the nv driver with no trouble at all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
